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How do you approach someone that has an ace ring?


Sniveon

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Yesterday I met a guy that had a black ring on the middle finger of his right hand, the thing is I had no  idea how to ask if he was ace. We were in a classroom full of strangers (we were strangers to each other too) so I didn't want to ask him if he was ace because he might not feel comfortable saying it in a room full of people he didn't know. I tried asking for the meaning of his ring and showing him mine but the conversation got really akward and he just told me someone special gave it to him. 

How do you bring the topic of asexualiaty in conversation with strangers? I have never met any asexual irl before so I am totally lost.

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Connecting with them by showing them your ring is definitely a good way to go in my opinion. I'd say maybe try to catch up with them after class when they are walking somewhere and be like "I noticed your ring, are you ace?" or something like that.  I'm a direct person so would love for people to be direct with me in return. Maybe being straightforward is the way to go...but then again, I've never met another ace in my life either, so that's just my thoughts.

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I generally don't - mostly because I know quite a bunch of people who wear black rings on the middle finger of their right hand that are not ace.

It's always dangerous to assume - most people tend to wear secondary rings on their right hands, and the middle finger is usually the most convenient finger where it can't be mistaken for an engagement ring.

 

Of course, that doesn't mean it never happens to meet someone wearing an ace ring! :)

Your approach of asking if it has any significance definitely feels like the best approach. If it ends up being an ace ring, it at least has shown your interest and they might still tell you later! :D

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1 hour ago, Dreamer23 said:

I generally don't - mostly because I know quite a bunch of people who wear black rings on the middle finger of their right hand that are not ace.

It's always dangerous to assume - most people tend to wear secondary rings on their right hands, and the middle finger is usually the most convenient finger where it can't be mistaken for an engagement ring.

Yeah Swingers also use a black ring on the middle finger.

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@Kimmie., there is a tacit agreement between the swingers community and the asexual community that a black ring on the right middle finger is asexual, not swinging. 

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"hey that's a cool ring! does it have any special meaning to you?"

and: if they start talking about how they are a swinger be gracious and understanding.

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Celyn: The Lutening

Yeah the only time it's happened to me I waved my own ring at them. Once was on the tube and we just kinda smiled knowingly at each other, the other time was at work.

Me: *Brandishes ring*

Him: Ace?

Me: Yeah!

*Fist bumps*

 

But this guys reaction seems like he doesn't feel confident coming out (if it is an ace ring) so I would tell him the meaning of yours if I were you, so he knows that you're a safe person to come out to.

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Custard Cream

 

2 hours ago, Celyn said:

But this guys reaction seems like he doesn't feel confident coming out (if it is an ace ring) so I would tell him the meaning of yours if I were you, so he knows that you're a safe person to come out to.

Agreed. If he ISN'T ace, he might want to know that his ring is giving off signals...

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everywhere and nowhere

I have never met such a person, but I think that I could have a nice way of starting conversation: compliment the ring and say that what a pity that I can't wear one because I always wear gloves due to my allergy... Without even mentioning what it's for, treating it as obvious that I'd like to get specifically an ace ring if I could wear one.

 

But I just can't , really. :( Any ring on a glove doesn't work very well, and a black ring on a black glove is invisible. :(

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I like to think that there is more to me as a person than just being Ace. I'm sure you're an interesting person, so go chat to them and get to know them! If they're Ace, then that's fantastic, and if they're not that's great too.

 

 

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Janus the Fox
14 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

@Kimmie., there is a tacit agreement between the swingers community and the asexual community that a black ring on the right middle finger is asexual, not swinging. 

There's mixed interpretation on the internet the black ring on the middle finger on the right hand is Asexuality, the left hand is Swingers/Poly relationships.  There's confusion everywhere and the ring symbol could not be indicative of anything in other cultures, it can be a common accessory choice and little else.

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  • 1 month later...
paninispades

This happened to me once at school. A fellow ace was talking to his friend (really supportive, I know her) and I noticed his ring. Y'all he had the coolest ring, there were designs and it was so pretty. So I told him "hey I like your ring, I have one too." He said "nice" and we exchanged finger guns. It was a beautiful moment.
  

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