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Hi! Glad to have found this community and hopefully feel less alone


Undes

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Hello!

 

I'm a 20 year old male, asexual but romantic and in a relationship with a girlfriend. I thought we had talked about my asexuality and that she understood how i feel about my relationship with her, but yesterday she revealed she thought it was only a temporary state of mind and that i would eventually build up sexual attraction towards her... She even proposed for me to follow therapy and already found a therapist that "cures sexual undesire"...

 

besides having conflicting feelings about this incident, it also made me feel more lonely than ever. There's no one i've ever met that i know is asexual. I'm glad i found this community of people with the same sexual orientation, and am looking forward to reading about and sharing experiences and support with all of you.

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Hello and welcome to AVEN!

 

It sucks to hear what happened to you😞

 

But don't worry.This site and community are full of amazing people who are very understanding and welcoming.I'm sure you'll be able to find many individuals who share the same (or very similar) experiences to you.

 

And if you ever need someone to talk to,i'm always here.Until then,go and explore this website and have fun while doing so😊💖

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49 minutes ago, Ciki said:

Hello and welcome to AVEN!

 

It sucks to hear what happened to you😞

 

But don't worry.This site and community are full of amazing people who are very understanding and welcoming.I'm sure you'll be able to find many individuals who share the same (or very similar) experiences to you.

 

And if you ever need someone to talk to,i'm always here.Until then,go and explore this website and have fun while doing so😊💖

Thank you for the kind words.😊

It's still a bit fresh, but the incident described above does hurt, especially since i've had intercourse with her on multiple ocassions before. We've talked about it before and i did explain to her that while i feel no sexual attraction, i'm not repulsed by the idea of it and would gladly do it to fulfill her desires. And now almost a year into the relationship i suddenly find myself wondering if this is the right partner for me after all, and if i can live with someone that will constantly try to "fix" my sexuality... 😔

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Don't push yourself to be with someone that you don't feel is right for you.

 

She has no right to "fix" you.You've told her about your identity and you even went as far as to actually have sex with her.

 

And she's still not happy?What more could she want?

 

If she can't love you and accept you for who you are,then maybe it's best to look for another partner.

 

But before doing that,try talking to her about this.Tell her how it makes you feel.And if she still insists on getting you "fixed",then you'll be sure she's not the right one for you.

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The worst thing another person can ever do is try to contain the light which shines within you. @Ciki is absolutely correct about "fixers" I wonder how this person would react to you plan to fix them. I doubt they would entertain that well. One thing you likely will not find here are people that say that it's ok for someone to do that to you. Good luck and welcome. 🍰

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Welcome! I’d say tell her how you feel, and that if she’s keeps trying to “fix” you that you’re leaving. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are, and accepts you and your identity. People who keep trying to “fix” you will just keep pushing you until they get what they want regardless of consequences, be careful but give her one (1) chance to make up. 

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