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My asexual story - by an 82 yr old. Do I leave it on the shelf?


Davina

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On 2/22/2020 at 11:56 PM, Diana DeLuna said:

Oh, please don't backshelve your book!! Do publish, even if it's a self-published Amazon thing.

 

I'm of the mind that ANY stories from our elders are worth knowing. How short the human lifespan is in the arc of all history, and how quickly new generations forget what our forbears struggled for!

 

As for Ace stories in particular, I think those are even more important. Personally I am *desperate* to hear more voices of older asexuals. On YouTube, I see groups of youngsters talking and giggling together while they openly share their (from what I've seen) not-so-traumatic stories about Ace/Aro. They all seem so happy and surrounded by friends. Watching that brings out ugly feelings in me of jealousy and a loneliness so powerful it physically stings.

 

Many Aces my age (50) and older mostly married off because that's what we were expected to do. I could never fulfill such expectations because all my life I've been too repulsed by kissing, let alone coitus, and therefore refused to date. Now I'm just a spinster aunt whom no one takes seriously at all.

 

I feel like we older Aces were equipped with much less knowledge, and more life experiences subjected to exclusion, ostracism, erasure, and open mockery. Though I was never full-on raped (thank the gods), I felt afraid many times and escaped many near-misses, only to be bullied and name-called, then retreat to beat myself up with guilt for my cosmic defect. I lost many friends over my aro/asexuality. I've suffered lifelong consequences.

 

@Davina publishing your story will help fill a hole in Ace history and a need in the market for stories of Aces of all ages.

My only exposure to anything asexual is thru AVEN. I've watched a few of Amelia ace's videos on Youtube. I do feel a twinge of jealousy about how younger people are exploring their sexuality (or lack of) at an early age. They seem to find out about asexuality much easier than most of us older aces.

 

Prior to 2005, I had no knowledge whatsoever of asexuality. Prior to that all I was aware of was that you were either, straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual. No idea that their were people that had no sexual attraction to others. Even in the 15 years since, I've only seen two references to sexuality in main stream media, that the general public would've been exposed to without 'searching' for specifically, once in a magazine article (slightly inaccurate in my opinion) and a TV show (describing a character and pretty much spot on).

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@Davina

I'd love to read your book. :)

 

On 6/23/2020 at 3:25 AM, will123 said:

My only exposure to anything asexual is thru AVEN. I've watched a few of Amelia ace's videos on Youtube. I do feel a twinge of jealousy about how younger people are exploring their sexuality (or lack of) at an early age. They seem to find out about asexuality much easier than most of us older aces.

Agreed. I grew up thinking I'm heterosexual and was convinced of that for a long time, because there was no information about asexuality available for me. Ye olde days before the age of internet...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you AVEN friends for your interest and encouragement in the writing of my asexual journey.

I am finding the second draft far more rewarding than my first effort. Instead of just of just an out-pouring of experiences I am now writing with more clarity and understanding of the social influences and beliefs that informed my past decisions.

I am trying to make my account readable for not just the asexual community, but for others who may wish to be educated about minority sexual differences. 

Therefore, I am taking time to proof read as I go. It is a slow process!  But I do some work practically every day and hopefully it will be published in some form 2021.

Thank you again, and stay safe during these difficult times.    Davina 🙂

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2 hours ago, Davina said:

Thank you AVEN friends for your interest and encouragement in the writing of my asexual journey.

I am finding the second draft far more rewarding than my first effort. Instead of just of just an out-pouring of experiences I am now writing with more clarity and understanding of the social influences and beliefs that informed my past decisions.

I am trying to make my account readable for not just the asexual community, but for others who may wish to be educated about minority sexual differences. 

Therefore, I am taking time to proof read as I go. It is a slow process!  But I do some work practically every day and hopefully it will be published in some form 2021.

Thank you again, and stay safe during these difficult times.    Davina 🙂

I've just discovered this thread and I can't wait to read your book 🙂  I'm 52 and I so wish I had learned about asexuality 30 years ago: It would have helped a lot mentally and physically. @Davina : The very best of luck with your proof-reading. Stay safe 🙂 

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On 7/5/2020 at 4:07 AM, Davina said:

Thank you AVEN friends for your interest and encouragement in the writing of my asexual journey.

I am finding the second draft far more rewarding than my first effort. Instead of just of just an out-pouring of experiences I am now writing with more clarity and understanding of the social influences and beliefs that informed my past decisions.

I am trying to make my account readable for not just the asexual community, but for others who may wish to be educated about minority sexual differences. 

Therefore, I am taking time to proof read as I go. It is a slow process!  But I do some work practically every day and hopefully it will be published in some form 2021.

Thank you again, and stay safe during these difficult times.    Davina 🙂

 

This has been a great thread to read! It's great to see all the encouragement and see that you'll be publishing your account :)

 

All the encouragement your way!

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