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A Little Help ! *Calls Out Quite Scared!*


violeteyedsoul

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violeteyedsoul

Okay. I gotta know.

How many others have gotten this E-Mail; or one similar, and I'm going to post this in another place to get as many people to read this as possible.

the problem is is that I've had shit like this happening my WHOLE F**KING!!

L I F E !!!

And now it looks like it's about to happen again.

*wants to DIE!*

(okay, I acted a bit like a little Teen-ager there but, yeah. I'm seriously freaked at the moment. )

The problem i,s is that, he's 54!

I'm 26!

Just read, you'll understand.

Oh, and the first thing that popped into my head when I read this was

"how many other people has he sent this to?"

I MIGHT, -- STRONGLY M I G H T -- not mind being say, pen-pals -- esp. since I NEVER am consistent with anything -- but yeah.

I'm not sure how to let him down easy if this guy really is that deluded.

*GROAN!!!*

AND P L E A S E !!!!

CLICK ON MY PROFILE! -- I'm shy_violeteyedsoul,listed under No-Labels I put this since ther were no looking for male or Female categories; another, now OBVIOUS mistake. *grr!* And maybe it's the name but you'd figure reading the profile would put anyone, I was hoping bad &/or abnormal, off!

Read it!

Rind me, dissect it, tear it to shreds

I JUST N E E D T O K N O W

W H Y THESE PEOPLE KEEP PICKING M E!!!

PLEASE! For the sake of my well being, I NEED to know what it is in my profile, or what it is about, my profile that gave me away as an easy target.

PLEASE HELP ME!

The following user has responded to the ad you posted at

asexualove.net:

Username: Elfknight

Dear 'Violet Eyed Soul'

The strangest thing happened last night- I had an extremely vivid dream

that I met and fell in love with a slim, blonde, younger woman with

very intriguing eyes (blue/ green/ violet?).... I knew she was from

abroad, but not which country she came from.

She seemed to appear from nowhere...

and then we were in an airport terminal.

This very tactile lady held me tight in her embrace as if she never

wanted to let me go.

My feelings were the same- I never wanted to be free from her gaze, her

cuddles, or hugging limbs. <– (THIS right here DISGUSTING!)

It really felt as though we had discovered and 'captured' each other,

as if we had belonged together since the beginning of time, and

forever....

Twin souls, soulmates, eternal 'flames'.

I awoke wondering who this wonderful shy mysterious person might be,

and if we would ever meet, and yet feeling as if she was already a part

of me.

I was enchanted and yet confused...

Later this morning I checked the AS site.

You had not been there the day before- but there you were!

I liked your profile so much, and was quite stunned to read that a big

part of the person I had imagined, seemed to be 'there in front of me'.

Maybe this is just some massive, meaningless coincidence? But, maybe

not.

Also, I realise that there is a BIG age difference between us- in fact

I am just about twice your age- I will be 54 on 21 January, and you

will be 27 in December/ January! Is that a problem for you?

Well, I hope not.

Anyway, I am a young-looking Englishman living in Scotland.

I am a former environmental scientist having retired early due to work

related stress and depression- but now recovering very well.

I'm not a very materialistic person and feel that friends, family and

the beauty of nature are much more important than money, status and

possessions.

My interests include nature, wildlife, history, music, movies and art.

I can also play chess by the way, but am by no means an expert.

I like cats, staying in, and can be a bit of a 'loner'. I prefer to

meet other people in 1's and 2's, rather than in a big group.

I'm an honest, faithful, caring person and ideally seek someone who

(like me) values the intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects of a

relationship more than the sexual side of things.

I'm hoping to meet a permanent partner for marriage.

I am a Christian, but am not very religious or rigid in my beliefs. < – (something else I don’t like. *FUMES!*)

I also enjoy cooking.

The only thing that might pose a slight problem is that I am a

non-smoker, though I did smoke for a short period many years ago. I don't like

very smoky places (or noisy, crowded ones either). However, if we

'connect' in other ways, then I'm sure we can find a way around that.

I do drink some alcohol now and again, but am very restrained.

If you want to know more about me, then you can check my ad. under 'Men

Seeking Women'- the title is "Wayward Knight in Quest for Fay

Damsel".

I will send you my photo in future if you are interested.

You can contact me direct on ( I removed it) or via my advert, if you

prefer. I hope to hear from you soon.

Best wishes,

Lindley (Elfknight)

To respond to this member please visit the following link:

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Uhm... Violet, may I call you Violet? ... how did this person manage to contact you? Through PM? Your usual e-mail? What?

I don't see anything in your profile that would attract strange 54 year old men, really.

He sounds like a nice person. Maybe just be pen pals but never actually meet? And if he starts writing really strange stuff then don't write to him anymore?

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Just tell him that the age difference is too much for you to want a serious relationship, but that you wouldn't mind writing back and forth as pen pals if he's interested. (He probably won't be.)

DON'T do it if you only use a street address, though. I would only do it if you have a PO Box or another address where you can receive mail. No use taking a chance that he might be local and looking for stalking targets.

Yeah ... I'm cautious. I admit it. Not quite paranoid, but definitely skeptical of most people's motives.

-GB

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violeteyedsoul
Uhm... Violet, may I call you Violet? ... how did this person manage to contact you? Through PM? Your usual e-mail? What?

I don't see anything in your profile that would attract strange 54 year old men, really.

He sounds like a nice person. Maybe just be pen pals but never actually meet? And if he starts writing really strange stuff then don't write to him anymore?

Yeah you can call me Violet.

...

And your right, I wonder how he managed to get my E-Mail I'll go check.

there was an old guy in australia who kept writing to me when i had my profile up = I always just ignored him

Yeah. I was wondering how may other people, girls obviously; but people in general he’s sent this to

*S H I V E R!!!*

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while i did have success on that site, I've since stopped using it.

Truth be told, I think you are much more likely to find a partner just be pmming avenites, and chatting with them.

You can find friends almost anywhere. Take Ajayyyy and I - we began talking when I pmmed with a message along the lines of "Okay, I have to know who is that hot guy in your avatar." And now we're such good friends that I'll be visiting him in a few weeks.

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violeteyedsoul
Just tell him that the age difference is too much for you to want a serious relationship, but that you wouldn't mind writing back and forth as pen pals if he's interested. (He probably won't be.)

DON'T do it if you only use a street address, though. I would only do it if you have a PO Box or another address where you can receive mail. No use taking a chance that he might be local and looking for stalking targets.

Yeah ... I'm cautious. I admit it. Not quite paranoid, but definitely skeptical of most people's motives.

-GB

Yeah, I saw something really fishy about it to begin with. I never though of a P.O. box.

*sigh!*

and I just got DONE with someone who turned out to be a predator!

And as for getting my E-Mail it turns out you can send anyone a message just click on the link below the like profile page.

It automatically sends the other person an E-Mail.

I don't know though whether the other person gets to know what your E-Mail is though.

But yeah, in all honesty I DON'T want to even contact this guy, unless it's just to say FORGET IT!

I'm just wondering WHY!?

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I don't know though whether the other person gets to know what your E-Mail is though.

They don't - though it appears Mike stopped taking care of the site shortly after buying it, so i wouldn't put too much trust in its features

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This reeks of a con. Run away. You will find better pen pals. Trust me. See my response to your post in "Friends & Allies."

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violeteyedsoul
while i did have success on that site, I've since stopped using it.

Why, is it cause it's just to dangerous / questionable or no one ever goes there?

Truth be told, I think you are much more likely to find a partner just be pmming avenites, and chatting with them.

You can find friends almost anywhere. Take Ajayyyy and I - we began talking when I pmmed with a message along the lines of "Okay, I have to know who is that hot guy in your avatar." And now we're such good friends that I'll be visiting him in a few weeks.

Yeah. I've been wanting this same thing, and have been hoping for this exact thing for myself, which is why I frequent this site so much lately.

But it seems I've stuck my foot in my mouth a bit too much, and have rather alienated myself.

:oops:

So I doubt I’ll get that chance.

*sighs!*

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Truth be told, I think you are much more likely to find a partner just be pmming avenites, and chatting with them.

You can find friends almost anywhere. Take Ajayyyy and I - we began talking when I pmmed with a message along the lines of "Okay, I have to know who is that hot guy in your avatar." And now we're such good friends that I'll be visiting him in a few weeks.

Yeah. I've been wanting this same thing, and have been hoping for this exact thing for myself, which is why I frequent this site so much lately.

But it seems I've stuck my foot in my mouth a bit too much, and have rather alienated myself.

:oops:

So I doubt I’ll get that chance.

*sighs!*

I consider pobblebonk one of my closest friends ever. And you know the only reason we started talking privated was because we got in a 5 page "debate" about whether or not it was polite to say "merry christmas" to strangers. I called him a hypocrite, and a complete idiot, and probably some other things. But once winter locked thread we could only drop the issue or continue it in pms - we choose to continue it. of course we were also simeoultaneously helping each other in another aspect of our life, but we couldn't do that if we held a grudge to do our argument- i believe in the mod forum there is a comment about how it contained overwhelming verbiosity when a simple sentence would have sufficed for the entire discussion. So who knows, you're best friend might turn out to be the person you were most expecting to hate you.

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violeteyedsoul
This reeks of a con. Run away. You will find better pen pals. Trust me. See my response to your post in "Friends & Allies."

Yeah. Thanks! I saw what you posted, and answered

Thank You.

*BIG sigh of relief!*

But

*TENSE!*

WHY!?

I’m just wondering WHY!?

What is it that I wrote that would make someone do this?

I’m OBVIOUSLY a “Yonder Come’s a Sucker!” and I’m just wondering what it is that I’m doing that is screaming, take me for all I got! I’m gullible! Or Naive – which sadly I am – or whatever.

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violeteyedsoul

I consider pobblebonk one of my closest friends ever. And you know the only reason we started talking privated was because we got in a 5 page "debate" about whether or not it was polite to say "merry christmas" to strangers. I called him a hypocrite' date=' and a complete idiot, and probably some other things. But once winter locked thread we could only drop the issue or continue it in pms - we choose to continue it. of course we were also simeoultaneously helping each other in another aspect of our life, but we couldn't do that if we held a grudge to do our argument- i believe in the mod forum there is a comment about how it contained overwhelming verbiosity when a simple sentence would have sufficed for the entire discussion. [/quote']

LOL!

So who knows' date=' you're best friend might turn out to be the person you were most expecting to hate you.[/quote']

LOL!

Well, I doubt it, BUT I also hope so. I've kinda sorta taken a liking to Nurovore <-sp? here, you know the one with a creepy avatar that no one could figure out. LOL!

:lol:

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What is it that I wrote that would make someone do this?

I’m OBVIOUSLY a “Yonder Come’s a Sucker!” and I’m just wondering what it is that I’m doing that is screaming, take me for all I got! I’m gullible! Or Naive – which sadly I am – or whatever.

Or it's possible he just came across a bunch of email addresses somewhere and carpet-bombed 'em, assuming that if he sent the thing out enough times, he'd eventually get someone to bite. My junk mail folder is always overflowing with offers to sell me shady medication or enlarge parts of the human anatomy that I don't happen to have in the first place. Some spammers just plain make up email addresses out of random combinations of words and letters until they find some that work. It may not be anything very personal at all. So long as you don't respond, I think you're safe. If I were you, I'd have a good laugh at his cheesy story about the dream, then delete that sucker.

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Awe Dear....Don't worry so much about it...

He's just a farty unemployed old geezer who has mistaken you for a

slim, blonde, younger woman with very intriguing eyes

and was hoping he might have a shot with you.

He's probably sent out a hundred of those letters . Funny thing is....if he was really

not a very materialistic person and feel that friends, family and

the beauty of nature are much more important than money, status and

possessions.

He wouldn't be so obsessed with the possibility of an innocent child-slave-trophy bride.

Trust me ...I got plenty of letters (no email back then) from farty old geezers when I was a slim, blonde, younger woman with very intriguing eyes !!!

I'm very amused that you've called him out though....

GOOD ON YOU!

Lizzie

(the farty old LADY Geezer)

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violeteyedsoul
Awe Dear....Don't worry so much about it...

He's just a farty unemployed old geezer who has mistaken you for a

slim, blonde, younger woman with very intriguing eyes

and was hoping he might have a shot with you.

He's probably sent out a hundred of those letters . Funny thing is....if he was really

not a very materialistic person and feel that friends, family and

the beauty of nature are much more important than money, status and

possessions.

He wouldn't be so obsessed with the possibility of an innocent child-slave-trophy bride.

Trust me ...I got plenty of letters (no email back then) from farty old geezers when I was a slim, blonde, younger woman with very intriguing eyes !!!

I'm very amused that you've called him out though....

GOOD ON YOU!

Lizzie

(the farty old LADY Geezer)

:o :shock: <-- they really need a smiley with bugging eyeballs AND a gaping mouth.

You’re right!

*smacks forehead*

I never realized that!

I’ve been bugged by others, cause of the way I look, and S**T! I always, in the back of my head I could never figure out WHY I didn’t believe them. It was cause they actually DO care bout looks, money possessions and they DON’T care about like the environment, and; well, stuff like that.

You know what I mean?

I’ve been bugged by only BAD people young and old so far my WHOLE L I F E, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

It N E E D S to STOP, and I was hoping to get help figuring it out on how to stop it.

But thanks, you made me feel as though I might actually be able to take care of / watch out for myself.

Lol!

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Hey Violet,

Looks like everyone said pretty much all there is to say here. lol.

One obervation I have from my own experience. When I put up a profile at any website, I get emails asking if I'm interested. It seems that certain people online believe that all profiles are "Dating Personals".

Before joining any community online, I create a throw away email address to use on that website. If I get threatening emails, or disgusting emails or just alot of spam emails, I can delete the email address and get a new one.

I'm alot like Greybird. I am paranoid to the max. I question everyones motives. lol. Notice I still haven't put up a pic on the "Show us your grey" thread. lol.

But to answer your original question: Yes, I get emails like that from time to time, and they are almost always from OLD GAY GUYS! So, I say, ignore it if you dont want to correspond. Block it if your email allows your to do that. Or write back and forth and have fun with it, if you are in that kind of mood. lol. My suggestion, If you choose to correspond, then use a throw away email account, don't use snail mail. Snail mail is NOT safe when you want to stay annonymous. Even with a P.O. Box, the zip code is there, the city and state is there, and sometimes thats enough information for a search engine to get pretty darn close to your location.

Yep, I bet you can tell I AM paranoid. lol.

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Yeah, what Ziffler said.

Remember that the internet provides a level of anonymity where people in their creepier moments can act on these impulses with absolutely no compunction or ramifications.

I too have had creeps approach me all my life. It got MUCH worse when I got my first computer. I still get Yahoo PM's saying things like "I'm from Nigeria, looking for butifulist lady for love all lifetime" or "I'm in Egypt, wanna F***?"

I have done many experiments on this and concluded that if your screenname sounds remotely female, then you will get unwanted, usually sexually rude attention. It will be especially hit on if there is a young age attached. And a picture? Well, you're just asking for it!

In ads, I guess you do need to state a gender but for messengers and e-mail names it's probably prudent to choose ungendered words. My daughter's msn name is Albert S.

Just do as Ziffler says with the throw away e-mails. When they ruin one for you, just switch. At present I have 5 different accounts and about 10 different names. Set up an email in one name and set up a child- alternate profile EXample: Account name: Perrier@yahoo.com (this is parent it is e-mail addy)- Child profile: Bananarama. Then you can use Bananarama everywhere you go but if people try to e-mail Bananarama@yahoo-it won't work. You have to specifically give your real e-mail on an individual basis.

Just try to remember that this whole internet thing is nothing more than 1's and 0's. 'Delete' removes even that. There are always going to be idiots.

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OK I know this sounds weird but it's harmless and you could just give it a try.

I used to attract unhealthy people and I would feel sorry for them and try to help. Ha! I never was able to help and usually got used. So one day I just took a very strong thought that I would allow only healthy people in my life. I broke away from my unhealthy "friends" and slowly began to attract healthy people. I don't have many relationships but they are ones that help me grow as a person.

I agree with most of the posters who have responded. Delete and change your ID.

Good Luck.

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violeteyedsoul
Hey Violet,

Looks like everyone said pretty much all there is to say here. lol.

One obervation I have from my own experience. When I put up a profile at any website, I get emails asking if I'm interested. It seems that certain people online believe that all profiles are "Dating Personals".

Before joining any community online, I create a throw away email address to use on that website. If I get threatening emails, or disgusting emails or just alot of spam emails, I can delete the email address and get a new one.

I'm alot like Greybird. I am paranoid to the max. I question everyones motives. lol. Notice I still haven't put up a pic on the "Show us your grey" thread. lol.

But to answer your original question: Yes, I get emails like that from time to time, and they are almost always from OLD GAY GUYS! So, I say, ignore it if you dont want to correspond. Block it if your email allows your to do that. Or write back and forth and have fun with it, if you are in that kind of mood. lol. My suggestion, If you choose to correspond, then use a throw away email account, don't use snail mail. Snail mail is NOT safe when you want to stay annonymous. Even with a P.O. Box, the zip code is there, the city and state is there, and sometimes thats enough information for a search engine to get pretty darn close to your location.

Yep, I bet you can tell I AM paranoid. lol.

Yeah. *sigh!*

Thanks for the input. And I never thought of the P.O. Box thing. I know I didn’t like the idea of it, but didn’t have any reason to not like it.

And actually, I don’t think you’re paranoid at all. Esp. In today’s day and age / world. It seems that there are less and less good people out there and nearly everyone’s bad, in one shape or form now!

*withering SIGH!*

I just WISH I could find someone GOOD, and NORMAL, to date. Someone who’s actually interesting AND caring yet, is actually a good morally up-right person, with a clean mind, in EVERY WAY, esp. sexually.

Unfortunately it doesn’t exist anymore!

*starts to cry!*

Lol!

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violeteyedsoul
OK I know this sounds weird but it's harmless and you could just give it a try.

I used to attract unhealthy people and I would feel sorry for them and try to help. Ha! I never was able to help and usually got used. So one day I just took a very strong thought that I would allow only healthy people in my life. I broke away from my unhealthy "friends" and slowly began to attract healthy people. I don't have many relationships but they are ones that help me grow as a person.

I agree with most of the posters who have responded. Delete and change your ID.

Good Luck.

*SIGH!*

yeah. I've been needing to do this also. My only problem is is that the area that I live in, there are no healthy, good, level headed, down to earth people, with their heads screwed on straight; around.

*S I G H !!!*

So the only other choice is to be lonely.

But it sounds like you're in somewhat the same boat.

...

I guess it just comes down to what it's always come down to.

First heal up and get your self in the like, green emotionally speaking. Then when you’re lonely to the point where you’re nearly nuts from being completely solitary, and not able to take it anymore, go ahead and hang out again cause all of the harmful, and evil stuff won’t hurt, or hurt as much. And it’ll be a while till you're bad off again and need to repair again.

*sigh!*

But I don't want to do that anymore! I'm too worn out, too old. and am sick and tired of the whole thing!

sadly it IS to much to ask for a good person to come along.

*SIGH!*

...

And sadly, I’m talking about FRIENDS here, NOT ROMANCES.

Lol!

That’s even WORSE!

*sigh!*

Their deeper, more personal, and far FAR worse with even the slightest twinge, of someone / thing trying to hurt you.

*SIGH!*

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Yeah. Islander is right, Violet. Just delete the thing and forget all about it. He's probably thousands of miles away from where you live, so he won't actually come to your house and bother you or anything... I know it can creep you out, but don't get too worried about it. He's probably just some lonely old dude who's wife left him.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hidys --

And yeah, as someone else already said, most of what I was gonna say has been said.

A couple of things tho' -- less said on a profile, is usually the better. Let people get to know you by what you do in a group or forum.

And though none of this may apply to you:

Never post your real address. If you have to have a paper mail addy, always have a po box. Never use your real name if you can avoid it, and if ya can't, always pay to have an unlisted name and phone number in the phone book.

And always ignore emails or inquiries you're unsure of.

My motto? When in doubt, DON'T. It's never let me down.

Best wishes,

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violeteyedsoul
Hidys --

And yeah, as someone else already said, most of what I was gonna say has been said.

A couple of things tho' -- less said on a profile, is usually the better. Let people get to know you by what you do in a group or forum.

And though none of this may apply to you:

Never post your real address. If you have to have a paper mail addy, always have a po box. Never use your real name if you can avoid it, and if ya can't, always pay to have an unlisted name and phone number in the phone book.

And always ignore emails or inquiries you're unsure of.

My motto? When in doubt, DON'T. It's never let me down.

Best wishes,

hmm. good ideas. thanks.

My motto? When in doubt, DON'T. It's never let me down.

hmm. I've never tried that before. I think I will.

thanks

:-D

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Nice topic in the "Older Asexuals" forum ;)

When looking for something through a media accesed by all kinds of people then all kinds of responses can be expected.

Besides that ... as other wrote, relax, send him a "No". Preferably by pm instead of giving away your e-mail address or other personal contact info. You don't need to give an explanation of why - and generally should not try to give one unless you are prepared for a dialogue about it. If he contacts you again then ignore it, and if he persistingly keeps contacting there are also measures to be taken against that.

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