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Media Misrepresentation of Asexuality


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Low End Things
5 minutes ago, AceMissBehaving said:

It wonder what would happen if asexuals were more open about their sexuality, and there were ace spaces the same way there are for other orientations, Would there be a similar pattern for other ace folks? 

I firmly believe that most people are naturally, subconsciously drawn to others like them. I'm a part of what I believe is a large test sample being involved in ace meetups in NYC, and from examining my background and the backgrounds of others aces I've met here this has somewhat proven itself. The culture here is also sloooooowly accepting the existence of people who feel this way.

 

I had the exact same experience as you once I came out (although I'm not out in public, only with close friends but I'm extremely comfortable with it and act accordingly), and I've seen this happen with other aces which is so incredibly encouraging. To be blunt, I think the biggest obstacle is that the vast majority of us are too afraid to come out for personal and legitimate reasons. Hence where the visibility comes in.

 

I really hate to say it, but think when mega-celebrities (say at the level of Tom Hanks or Kanye West) come out as ace we'll start seeing a bigger change as well.

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AceMissBehaving
1 minute ago, Low End Things said:

I firmly believe that most people are naturally, subconsciously drawn to others like them. I'm a part of what I believe is a large test sample being involved in ace meetups in NYC, and from examining my background and the backgrounds of others aces I've met here this has somewhat proven itself. The culture here is also sloooooowly accepting the existence of people who feel this way.

 

I had the exact same experience as you once I came out (although I'm not out in public, only with close friends but I'm extremely comfortable with it and act accordingly), and I've seen this happen with other aces which is so incredibly encouraging. To be blunt, I think the biggest obstacle is that the vast majority of us are too afraid to come out for personal and legitimate reasons. Hence where the visibility comes in.

 

I really hate to say it, but think when mega-celebrities (say at the level of Tom Hanks or Kanye West) come out as ace we'll start seeing a bigger change as well.

I completely agree, and it’s interesting to hear someone else having the same experience in regards to being drawn to other aces once they were visible.

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Low End Things
14 minutes ago, AceMissBehaving said:

My ideal future would be the opposite. I think asexual people are generally best suited to dating other asexual people. Keeping it a conversation between partners seems more in line with making mixed relationships the main path for romantic aces. Where as I feel increased accessibility to asexual dating would be something I’d like to see.

I totally agree with this sentiment. I guess what I meant is that asexuality visibility needs to reach critical mass, and once it does (and I believe it will, eventually) we'll naturally transition to this point. I think I differ in that at this stage, it would be less about matching orientation and more about matching sexual preferences. So at the very least, I see the term as a great tool to achieve this.

 

13 minutes ago, AceMissBehaving said:

I think there is a lot of progress on creating visibility of the fact asexuality exists, and maybe the first step is to end stigma around asexuality so people are more comfortable being out in the open.

 

While it’s true that the only person anyone needs to disclose their asexuality to is potential partners, I do feel that this general closeting does hamper our ability to grow and thrive as an actual real world community. No one is going to cater to a group they can’t see, so by keeping ourselves hidden we do largely close ourselves off to the possibility of creating in person resources and services, and I say this an someone who is both asexual and an event organizer.


If I, an asexual who is aware of more local asexuals than most seem to be am gun shy financially about setting up some kind of space for us, why would anyone else care to?

Yes, exactly, to all this. As a black guy, I relate this to the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Not every ace has the means, capability, or desire to push things forward for the group as a whole, so those of us who can and want to see this change should do it to the best of our capabilities. Beyond friendship and dating it's a big reason why I want to reach out to other aces through meetup events or otherwise; I don't have the means to create a space either but I at least want others to know they're not alone out there. 

 

 

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deletingthisaccount
On 3/12/2020 at 12:50 PM, CBC said:

Yeah. I think some people are stuck on using the word 'orientation' as the factor that legitimises it as being a real thing, or something that isn't a disorder that can be/needs to be fixed. I can understand that, and I do believe it's a thing, but I'm not sure 'orientation' is technically accurate.

 

Semantics again though, perhaps.

 

On 3/12/2020 at 1:31 PM, CBC said:

I guess you've gotta call it... something.

Hmm. I think whether it classifies as an orientation will actually depend on the decided definition as well. If it's defined as lack of sexual attraction to any gender (plus innate lack of desire for partnered sex), then it might be considered an orientation -- since that would still convey the preference (of no one). But if it's defined only as innate lack of desire (which I think is also seems legitimate), then calling it as an orientation might become more difficult.

 

I think the general permanence of an orientation might be why the orientation classification is appealing as well. Regardless, I think as long as we can find some classification of asexuality that legitimizes its existence, then it won't matter what the classification is.

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deletingthisaccount
On 3/12/2020 at 1:41 PM, AceMissBehaving said:

I think there is a lot of progress on creating visibility of the fact asexuality exists, and maybe the first step is to end stigma around asexuality so people are more comfortable being out in the open.

 

While it’s true that the only person anyone needs to disclose their asexuality to is potential partners, I do feel that this general closeting does hamper our ability to grow and thrive as an actual real world community. No one is going to cater to a group they can’t see, so by keeping ourselves hidden we do largely close ourselves off to the possibility of creating in person resources and services, and I say this as someone who is both asexual and an event organizer.


If I, an asexual who is aware of more local asexuals than most seem to be, feels gun shy financially about setting up some kind of space for us, why would anyone else care to?

I definitely agree. I would love for all aces to be comfortable opening to everyone about who we are. In my situation, while I don't technically need to disclose my (aro)-asexuality since I'm not interested in any kind of partnership, it's still soooooooo hard for me to feel like I need to hide it from my family and friends. I really wish I could tell them, but I know they won't understand -- especially when some friends I told didn't understand (haven't tried with family).

 

But even family and friends who I haven't tried to tell, still expect me to have a sex (and love) life, and ask about it. They only believe "I'm focusing on school/career" for so long before they start speculating. Some even think I'm outright lying about the fact that I've never had sex nor been in a relationship/partnership, etc. Or if they do believe me, they worry that something horrible must have happened to me, or that I have some sort of medical condition.

 

Granted, my wanting to tell family/friends might be more unique to my situation, since my forever-singleness makes hiding from my entire circle that I'm "different somehow" sooo much harder, no matter how much I want to hide it. And they seem believe there's no "obvious explanation" for it, so... yeah. I really want to see our community have a stronger presence in the world. Then we could be more open about who we are.

 

(***Sorry for the unnecessarily long tangent, this has actually been causing massive issues the past few weeks, so I needed to let it out lol)

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deletingthisaccount
  On 3/12/2020 at 2:06 PM, Low End Things said:

I totally agree with this sentiment. I guess what I meant is that asexuality visibility needs to reach critical mass, and once it does (and I believe it will, eventually) we'll naturally transition to this point. I think I differ in that at this stage, it would be less about matching orientation and more about matching sexual preferences. So at the very least, I see the term as a great tool to achieve this.

 

Yes, exactly, to all this. As a black guy, I relate this to the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Not every ace has the means, capability, or desire to push things forward for the group as a whole, so those of us who can and want to see this change should do it to the best of our capabilities. Beyond friendship and dating it's a big reason why I want to reach out to other aces through meetup events or otherwise; I don't have the means to create a space either but I at least want others to know they're not alone out there. 

I would love to see more ace meetups and events. For me, one of the hardest parts about being asexual is not knowing a single asexual in real life (at least that I know of). Although I'm thankful to have some friends that believe me and are supportive, having other aces friends that personally relate to me would be so nice. And I think if we have more meetups and events in real life, we would be able to push forward as a group and people would take us more seriously.

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Yeah I mean... this is hardly surprising. What do you expect when asexuality has as clear-cut a definition as it possibly could ("X does not happen") and yet people keep making up words and a "spectrum" that puts a buch of "not-nos" on a "spectrum" of no. 

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Low End Things
6 hours ago, Ace_of_Spades07 said:
  On 3/12/2020 at 2:06 PM, Low End Things said:

I totally agree with this sentiment. I guess what I meant is that asexuality visibility needs to reach critical mass, and once it does (and I believe it will, eventually) we'll naturally transition to this point. I think I differ in that at this stage, it would be less about matching orientation and more about matching sexual preferences. So at the very least, I see the term as a great tool to achieve this.

 

Yes, exactly, to all this. As a black guy, I relate this to the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Not every ace has the means, capability, or desire to push things forward for the group as a whole, so those of us who can and want to see this change should do it to the best of our capabilities. Beyond friendship and dating it's a big reason why I want to reach out to other aces through meetup events or otherwise; I don't have the means to create a space either but I at least want others to know they're not alone out there. 

I would love to see more ace meetups and events. For me, one of the hardest parts about being asexual is not knowing a single asexual in real life (at least that I know of). Although I'm thankful to have some friends that believe me and are supportive, having other aces friends that personally relate to me would be so nice. And I think if we have more meetups and events in real life, we would be able to push forward as a group and people would take us more seriously.

It's remarkable the effect meeting others like you has on your psyche and self-esteem! Speaking for myself, going to my first meetup and being surrounded by other people who understood me at a core level for the first time in my life changed me fundamentally. I had resolved to spend the rest of my life alone, being unable to relate to anyone, and meeting other aces turned that on its head. I don't recognize myself at all from that time period, it feels like it was years and years in the past when it's only been eight months! I'm sure most aces can relate to how I used to be. I think that desire to meet others like ourselves is as innate to all humans as sex is to allos. 

 

An anecdote: because of that feeling I started hosting my own small meetups. At our last bar meetup we had two aroaces in a group of five people; even being in a large city, it's the first time I've ever seen that happen. Neither had ever met another aroace before and they were smiling ear to ear the whole night. 

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6 hours ago, Homer said:

Yeah I mean... this is hardly surprising. What do you expect when asexuality has as clear-cut a definition as it possibly could ("X does not happen") and yet people keep making up words and a "spectrum" that puts a buch of "not-nos on a "spectrum" of no. 

I think of the 'asexual spectrum' as a spectrum of no to yes. It seems wrong to say that someone who experiences sexual attraction very rarely (gray-ace) is ace because they still experience sexual attraction, just not to the extent that allos do.

 

The idea of the spectrum comes in with the fact that gray-aces and demisexuals, while not ace, are less allo than most allos, so their orientations can be described by taking a weighted average of ace and allo characteristics. It's kind of like if you were to take the average of 0 and 5, where 0 represents asexuality and 5 represents allosexuality. Since the average is 2.5, which is not equal to 0, the average is not ace, but it's not as allo as what is commonly thought of as allo.

 

Also, you could multiply 0 and 5 by different percentages to get a weighted average. For instance, you could tip the scales toward asexuality by multiplying 5 by a smaller proportion, let's say 0.25.

 

0.75*0 + 0.25*5 = 1.25 (smaller than 2.5 but not 0, so more ace than 2.5 but not ace)

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Low End Things
6 hours ago, Ace_of_Spades07 said:

I definitely agree. I would love for all aces to be comfortable opening to everyone about who we are. In my situation, while I don't technically need to disclose my (aro)-asexuality since I'm not interested in any kind of partnership, it's still soooooooo hard for me to feel like I need to hide it from my family and friends. I really wish I could tell them, but I know they won't understand -- especially when some friends I told didn't understand (haven't tried with family).

 

But even family and friends who I haven't tried to tell, still expect me to have a sex (and love) life, and ask about it. They only believe "I'm focusing on school/career" for so long before they start speculating. Some even think I'm outright lying about the fact that I've never had sex nor been in a relationship/partnership, etc. Or if they do believe me, they worry that something horrible must have happened to me, or that I have some sort of medical condition.

 

Granted, my wanting to tell family/friends might be more unique to my situation, since my forever-singleness makes hiding from my entire circle that I'm "different somehow" sooo much harder, no matter how much I want to hide it. And they seem believe there's no "obvious explanation" for it, so... yeah. I really want to see our community have a stronger presence in the world. Then we could be more open about who we are.

Sorry for quoting so much, I just wanted to say this literally me (minus the aroace part!) and I feeeeeel that feel although I'm sure I have it a bit easier than you since I'm a guy. I don't think I'll ever tell my family, I already can't talk to most of them about modern sex/gender issues without things devolving into a homophobic rant...

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Low End Things

@cAROlyn I love that explanation, I think I'm going to steal it for myself you don't mind!

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deletingthisaccount
On 3/14/2020 at 8:36 AM, cAROlyn said:

I think of the 'asexual spectrum' as a spectrum of no to yes. It seems wrong to say that someone who experiences sexual attraction very rarely (gray-ace) is ace because they still experience sexual attraction, just not to the extent that allos do.

 

The idea of the spectrum comes in with the fact that gray-aces and demisexuals, while not ace, are less allo than most allos, so their orientations can be described by taking a weighted average of ace and allo characteristics. It's kind of like if you were to take the average of 0 and 5, where 0 represents asexuality and 5 represents allosexuality. Since the average is 2.5, which is not equal to 0, the average is not ace, but it's not as allo as what is commonly thought of as allo.

 

Also, you could multiply 0 and 5 by different percentages to get a weighted average. For instance, you could tip the scales toward asexuality by multiplying 5 by a smaller proportion, let's say 0.25.

 

0.75*0 + 0.25*5 = 1.25 (smaller than 2.5 but not 0, so more ace than 2.5 but not ace)

I agree with concept of some sort of spectrum. A few people do experience sexual attraction/desire so rarely that their experiences are close to, but not quite, ace. You explained this very well! I think calling it "graysexual" spectrum or something along those lines may be more appropriate though. That way we have less confusion over "asexual" means, for those with no other word except "asexual" to use, but still acknowledge both aces and grays/demis.

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deletingthisaccount
10 hours ago, Low End Things said:

Sorry for quoting so much, I just wanted to say this literally me (minus the aroace part!) and I feeeeeel that feel although I'm sure I have it a bit easier than you since I'm a guy. I don't think I'll ever tell my family, I already can't talk to most of them about modern sex/gender issues without things devolving into a homophobic rant...

Glad I'm not alone in this! See, the most ironic part of my situation is that my family is accepting of gay people (I have gay uncles), but is extremely judgmental otherwise, even outside of sexuality. They 100% wouldn't respond well to asexuality at all. Which also makes very ironic that some family members believe I'm secretly gay -- if I actually were, what would be my motivation to hide it, knowing that they would accept it? Yet I'm forced to hide my aro-asexuality because it's "weird" to everyone.

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deletingthisaccount
5 hours ago, Low End Things said:

It's remarkable the effect meeting others like you has on your psyche and self-esteem! Speaking for myself, going to my first meetup and being surrounded by other people who understood me at a core level for the first time in my life changed me fundamentally. I had resolved to spend the rest of my life alone, being unable to relate to anyone, and meeting other aces turned that on its head. I don't recognize myself at all from that time period, it feels like it was years and years in the past when it's only been eight months! I'm sure most aces can relate to how I used to be. I think that desire to meet others like ourselves is as innate to all humans as sex is to allos. 

 

An anecdote: because of that feeling I started hosting my own small meetups. At our last bar meetup we had two aroaces in a group of five people; even being in a large city, it's the first time I've ever seen that happen. Neither had ever met another aroace before and they were smiling ear to ear the whole night. 

Awww, that's so nice! I'll have to start looking to see whether we have any meetups in my city as well. I would love to become part of something like that.

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On the original topic of the thread, I wanted to share this painfully inaccurate quiz (that was most likely not written by an ace) that came up in the suggestions when I began to type in asexuality.org in order to get to AVEN. I clicked on the quiz to see if it was another example of Media Misrepresentation of Asexuality, which it was.

 

Some of the questions gave me that familiar feeling I get when answering survey questions at the doctor's office: "If I answer this question in the way that makes sense to me, they'll interpret me incorrectly!" (Looking at you, Question #10.)

 

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deletingthisaccount

@cAROlyn yeah, I agree. I just took the quiz. And a quote from the quiz's description of asexuality at the end:

 

"Asexuals embody a wide spectrum of people: they range from flat-out Asexual's who enjoy the companionship and romanticism of being in a relationship (and will even have sex to produce a child or please their partner, but not for their own pleasure), as well as those who are completely Aromantic, where the thought of intimate physical contact with another person makes them feel ill." 

 

... That is not what romantic vs. aromantic means. 

 

Online quizzes misrepresent sooo many subjects in general, unfortunately. Thank you for sharing!

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  • 2 months later...
On 2/20/2020 at 4:12 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

So if there is a conflict between two people in this matter, the preference of the person who doesn't want to have sex should always come first.

hmm that is what I used to think until a lawyer friend of mine pointed out to me that in marriage, it is the other way round and marriage is some kind of written agreement to provide some form of sex to each other. I panic googled it and came across a lot of reddit posts about people pissed off about lack of sex in their marriage. mmm maybe my original thought was one of my incredibly Ace moments Haha. I think everyone is like me by default and I have to be constantly reminded otherwise. 

And then she added "you should not call Asexuality an orientation. If you do so, in all mixed allo Ace failed marriages the Ace should be liable to the damage caused to the Allo. Since Ace is deemed an orientation, it is like tricking someone into marrying the wrong orientation. " WFT?? why not say the Allo tricking the ACE into marrying into the wrong orientation?

I bet she read a lot of those misrepresentation articles. LOL. She somehow was led to believe everyone knows they are Asexual by instinct and that they are different from others. I myself and many others in this forum have thought everyone is like them until told otherwise. I have no idea where she got the idea from. We are not speaking much now and I do not want to bring up the issue again because she gets angry every time I do. 

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6 hours ago, KathyHoh said:

And then she added "you should not call Asexuality an orientation. If you do so, in all mixed allo Ace failed marriages the Ace should be liable to the damage caused to the Allo. Since Ace is deemed an orientation, it is like tricking someone into marrying the wrong orientation. " WFT?? why not say the Allo tricking the ACE into marrying into the wrong orientation?

Yeah, that really pisses me off too.

Asexuals are always expected to be honest and disclose that info to potential partners right off the bat (if possible) and risk loosing them as a potential partner and relationship.

 

But when demisexuals or cupiosexual or whatever (who are very aware of that) doesn't disclose this information (not telling that their feelings may drastically change, which as a result may cause a lot of issues and a massive relationship incompatibility in the future) to a potential asexual partner (who is very much likely to know that), that's totally fine?

But at the end, it doesn't really matter because people nearly always will take put their (sexual) needs to be above the asexual's ones, so you would still be at fault anyway.

 

Yeah, asexuals doesn't have it fair if you haven't noticed yet. Damn if you do, damn if you don't. I'd rather not deal with that bullshit, thank you very much.

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AceAnimeFan
On 2/24/2020 at 12:00 AM, Skipper Valvoline said:

PREACH. One of the most annoying things I've seen in recent years is this "asexuality is a spectrum" bullshit. Like... YES? BECAUSE OF ALL OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS A SPECTRUM! But we don't call heterosexuality a spectrum, we don't talk about being gay-spec... because it's generally understood that hey, individuals will experience life (gasp!) individually.

 

I freaking hate this new rhetoric of "I identify as a-spec" like, no, just no. If you're ace, you're ace. I am asexual. I could identify as straight but that wouldn't change the truth. Saying 'identify'... waters it down, in my opinion. And trying to explain to people who have literally never heard of asexuality by starting off with "it's a SPECTRUM" is a huge cue for them to stop listening, because we're the only sexuality trying to say that. It really does come across more snow-flakey.

 

We need clear boundaries while we're still trying to educate people. It should not be any more complicated than "straight=like opposite sex, gay=like same sex, bi=like both sexes, and ace=like neither sex." That's it. Simple, straightforward, bite-sized info. People are new to all this; if we rush them with a deluge of vocabulary words they're not going to understand.

I never understood the spectrum thing, my understanding has always been: Asexual, Allosexual/sexual, Grey- and Demi-sexual (not sure if these are considered synonyms). I always understood grey- and demi-sexual as sexual attraction occurring only after a strong emotional bond forms, asexual as no sexual attraction, and allosexual/sexual as not asexual or grey- or demi-sexual (what most humans think of as the default). 

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AceAnimeFan
On 3/1/2020 at 8:50 AM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

It's really very simple. "If there were no external forces or pressures on you, would you still want sex? Yes: sexual. No: asexual. It's complicated (by which I mean, something like what @Pan Ficto. told me about a guy who only wanted sex if someone sneezed, or can only tell after an abnormally long time): grey/demi-sexual".

This is pretty much how I've always understood asexuality and sexuality and what made the most sense as the most basic way of explaining this. I don't understand all the definition debates because this doesn't seem like it's that hard to understand from a purely academic standpoint (add emotion and everything becomes more complicated, for example the sexual individuals I've talked to seem to have some kind of emotion behind their inability or unwillingness to understand). 

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AceAnimeFan
On 3/1/2020 at 6:36 PM, deletingthisaccount said:

I've tried to explain the concept to a decent amount of people. Most of the time, it takes a long conversation before they do understand it, if at all. 

I've found that being as blunt and direct as possible and putting it in the simplest possible terms helps with this, at least as far as a basic intro to asexuality goes. Let them ask if they want a more detailed discussion. Providing reference materials (only when they are asked for) has also seemed to help. 

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4 hours ago, AceAnimeFan said:

It's really very simple. "If there were no external forces or pressures on you, would you still want sex? Yes: sexual. No: asexual.

I think that is a simple and elegant description

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On 5/26/2020 at 10:18 PM, AceAnimeFan said:

(add emotion and everything becomes more complicated, for example the sexual individuals I've talked to seem to have some kind of emotion behind their inability or unwillingness to understand)

I suppose that the reason why that is,  is because they are unable to internalise the idea of it all... is because "internalising" Asexuality means letting go of something that is an essential part of who they are, so to speak.

It's kind of ironic how people go around and say "being straight/gay/bi/ect. isn't a personality trait" and "there is more to people than their sexuality" but then, when they encounter Asexuality as a concept, they suddenly are unable to separate their very own being from their sexuality.

 

Asexuals have the same issue but in reverse - in order to internalise the idea of being staight/gay/bi/ect., they need to add something to their very being (without really knowing what that is because most of the time it's explained veeeeery vaguely and with crude language that does not convey emotion at all).

I know this is how it felt for me when I read those definition debates. They helped me with having a better understanding of how the majority of people feel like but ultimately, I have my own opinions, views and skepticism about them.

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On 5/27/2020 at 9:53 AM, HikaruBG said:

I suppose that the reason why that is,  is because they are unable to internalise the idea of it all... is because "internalising" Asexuality means letting go of something that is an essential part of who they are, so to speak.

It's kind of ironic how people go around and say "being straight/gay/bi/ect. isn't a personality trait" and "there is more to people than their sexuality" but then, when they encounter Asexuality as a concept, they suddenly are unable to separate their very own being from their sexuality.

 

Asexuals have have the same issue but in reverse - in order to internalise the idea of being staight/gay/bi/ect., they need to add something to their very being (without really knowing what that is because most of the time it's explained veeeeery vaguely and with crude language that does not convey emotion at all).

I know this is how it felt for me when I read those definition debates. They helped me with having a better understanding of how the majority of people feel like but ultimately, I have my own opinions, views and skepticism about them.

 

On 5/27/2020 at 9:53 AM, HikaruBG said:

add emotion and everything becomes more complicated, for example the sexual individuals I've talked to seem to have some kind of emotion behind their inability or unwillingness to understand)

You both really cracked the code. I got a very surprising emotional reaction to a definition of Asexuality I translated in my native language from a close sexual relative. I also used to get upset to hear about sexuality before but thanks to AVEN i am much more understanding now.

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10 hours ago, KathyHoh said:

 

You both really cracked the code. I got a very surprising emotional reaction to a definition of Asexuality I translated in my native language from a close sexual relative. I also used to get upset to hear about sexuality before but thanks to AVEN i am much more understanding now.

What? Elaborate please.

Spoiler

I don't think that a sexual can really internalise Asexuality accurately, without thinking that "it's about missing something" (which is why they experience so much distress when they suddenly loose their sexual desire) when in reality, this isn't how it feels like at all.

You can't miss on something that you never really innately wanted/experienced in the first place.

 

For a sexual person, asexuality would be like substrating 0.2 from 1 - for them it would feel like they are not "complete"...

While for us, asexuals, sexuality feels like you are adding 0.2 onto 1...

The feelings are completely different entirely.

 

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I agree with @HikaruBG you stated exactly what I meant. close people think we are missing something. Sometimes worry too much when in reality I do not miss anything and this is how I have always been. 

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Low End Things
On 5/26/2020 at 3:28 PM, AceAnimeFan said:

I've found that being as blunt and direct as possible and putting it in the simplest possible terms helps with this, at least as far as a basic intro to asexuality goes. Let them ask if they want a more detailed discussion. Providing reference materials (only when they are asked for) has also seemed to help. 

This applies to most things in commuications, and it's too bad more people don't follow this principle.

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  • 2 months later...
BodhranBace

I was watching the tv show House and there was an asexual patient. At first I was excited but then it turned out he had a tumor on his pituitary which had caused his asexuality and I was so upset. of course they removed the tumor and "fixed" him but it made me feel so insecure.😢

as if I didn't feel broken enough already.

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Janus the Fox

Yes, the House episode caused a big fuss I years ago on the Forums here at the time.

it’s had small mentions ever since.

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