•Lizzy• Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 I am 16 and I have know I was different for a while my friends would talk about sex and shit and I would just sit there awkwardly. I’m also known as the really innocent one, not because I was sheltered just because I have no interest in talking about sex. I want to come out to some people. But I don’t really know how to explain my asexuality, I am not aromatic I still want to fall in love and get married but I don’t know how to explain that to people when it seems like all everyone cares about is sex. My parents are supportive but I think they might not understand or think it was just a phase. Any advice would be great! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 Hello and welcome to AVEN! As a fellow 16 year old,i can somewhat relate to this. Coming out is never easy,especially coming out as ace simply because people don't understand it like they understand gay or bi. This can be even more challenging when you're 16.People will think it's just a phase and ignore you. Anyway,since i'm also in the closet but want to come out,i've thought about this a lot. But sadly,i don't know how i could help you since our living conditions are clearly different. However,since your parents are supportive,i suggest you sit down and talk to them one day in private. Tell them all about your feelings,explain to them that it's not just a phase and that this is who you are. If needed,explain to them what asexuality is and what it means to you. Try not to get triggered or aggressive if they don't understand or tell you wait until you're older to make that decision.They are most likely saying that because they care about you and don't want you to label yourself as something you're not. That's all i have for now.Best of luck to you my friend! And if you ever need anyone to talk to,i'm always here.I hope it will all go well for you😊💖♠ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoBoZaKi Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Hello! You've done great by creating an account on this forum. It does help you find the info you need. But also try researching online on how people have come out to their parents. I've already come out to everyone. There will always be doubtful people, even family and friends can be negative. But always look for the friends who don't make you scared to talk about it. It takes a lot of adjusting but hopefully you find some refuge in the forum. Links for Info: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-sexuality-and-romance/201702/asexuality-brief-primer https://www.thetrevorproject.org/trvr_support_center/asexual/ https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/1alb4d/so_ive_had_the_im_asexual_talk_with_my_parents/ 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 minutes ago, RoBoZaKi said: I've already come out to everyone. You're my inspiration and my role model in life. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
N8ty L3asT Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Hiya!! Welcome to AVEN. If you feel that you would be safe coming out that’s great, but just be sure you feel comfortable with person(s) beforehand. This is why I personally haven’t come out to anyone, I don’t feel no one I know is open minded enough. I wish you the best of luck!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 16 is quite the height of teen hormones for most, it this time it’s easy not quite see romance and personal connection first. In some situations explaining yourself first as a usual romantic first and anything else is second. Nobody needs to know but a prospective partner. “I prefer romance” is a start, though over time as a persons piers becomes older romance and connection becomes more realised. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FirewolfTheBrave Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 (edited) Hey, when do you guys think is the right time to come out? I'm only 15 and while I do feel ready, I'm worried about not being taken seriously because of my age. Most of my friends are already interested in romance, but none of us have had sex yet so I'm worried people will think I'm just an attention-seeking kid going through a phase. And what if they're right? What if I later find out I wasn't ace all along? I want to come out, but I feel like 15 is a very young age to do that. Edited March 19, 2020 by FirewolfTheBrave Edit: spelling Quote Link to post Share on other sites
endika Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Hey Lizzy! I have a little bit of advise if you have the specific conditions that I did. If you have a friend that is part of LGBT+ or a committed ally (eg I have a bisexual friend) I would suggest coming out to them first because they might know what asexual is, because if they were questioning their sexuality/gender/looking things up because their an ally they might have come across it. Also, if you know that they are part of LGBT+ or an ally, you know (almost) for a fact that they probably aren't aphobic. This worked for me but does not mean that it will work for you. I would just recommend coming out to someone you know is supportive of the LGBT+ community because I think it will definitely be easier. Good luck 🤞, Cezzy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
endika Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 On 2/20/2020 at 12:10 AM, RoBoZaKi said: I've already come out to everyone. Wow! I wish I was that brave XD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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