Does age matter when it comes to a sexuality?

[Mishizee]

I’ve been giving my sexual orientation a lot of thought over the past few years and came out as aromantic to my best friend. I was hoping for support and maybe a shoulder to lean on but instead she just told me “Maybe give it a few years to see for sure...” and that’s kind of stuck with me for a while now. Am I too young to be sure? I’ve always had different ideas than my friends when it came to relationships. I’ve always been different and I don’t see how she is supposed to change that thought process. 

[TakkyTakk]

How old is anyone supposed to be before they identify with any orientation? Ask your friend how long it took them to identify as whatever they are. Did it take her a 'few more years' before she was sure?

She can't change your thought process because its your thought process. She might find it odd because what you came out as isn't what she identifies as. 

If youve been thinking about it for two years then youve already spent the time understanding this part of you. don't let her get you down. 

[SithLord]

Well, I don't know your age, so how can I say you're too young to be sure? If a 5 year old were to tell me they were aromantic I wouldn't take them seriously, even if I would use whatever label they wanted. At 10 I would be similarly confident that it's likely to change, even though 10 is around the age children begin to express their gender and orientations (not always sexual because at this point it comes off as romantic at most), because at 10 they're still quite flexible in their labels. 15 is more cemented and less likely to change and while I could say something like "Don't plan your life by labels you go by now," I would be more confident about telling them they're old enough to know and decide for themselves.

 

Some people know from the time they're able to think about relationships. Others take years to fully understand themselves well enough to find a label that fits. Age is mostly a factor because of how much children change. But by the time someone reaches their teens, they've reached a level of maturity where even if their label/orientation does change over time, you shouldn't be disrespectful and say something like telling them they're not old enough to know. 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Well it's true that things can change. But you should be confident in yourself enough to know and live how you are. Maybe one day you'll feel love with someone that stirs up more romantic feelings, why not? But maybe you have a reason to think it wouldn't happen. You're the one that's going to know you the best, so try to be true to yourself most of all, first. Might take confidence or time for some to give you more fanfare in finding yourself

[Philip027]

If you're old enough to understand what sexuality and orientations are, you're old enough to potentially know what yours is.

 

Even though I didn't have a name for it back then, I knew as soon as I learned about sex that I had no interest.  20 years later, that still hasn't really changed.

[gabriele]

I don't feel there is any rush for anyone to label themselves. Also there is no age for things like knowing your sexual or romantic orientation. Some figure it out very early and some keep questioning for a long time. If you feel like identify with a particular orientation - that's great! I figured I was asexual when I was maybe 16, now I'm 22 and not once in those years did I doubt it. And I don't really see it changing, I feel like no matter what happens - I will always be in that spectrum. And even if things change, it's your orientation and no one's else. Long story short, if you are sure and it feels right for you - that's the only thing that matters. 

[Janus the Fox]

No matter the age, as long as a person is expressing, identifying and demonstrating some level of maturity, age is just a number.  Some can figure it out pre-teen some never fully figure it out, even well after pension age.

[N8ty L3asT]

I don’t think age is really an issue when your figuring out your orientation or how to identify yourself. Hopefully she comes around from what you said it sounds like she was trying to help in her own way so she might be there for when you need it. Don’t forget that only you can determine your orientation don’t let others force their thoughts on to you.

 

 

[DarkStormyKnight]

Sexuality is fluid, you can change your mind at any age. If it helps you to use a certain label now, go for it! You can always swap it out for something else later.

[Expedition]

Our brains don't mature till we're about 25 on the whole, so it would seem likely our sexuality isn't fixed till then.