Emotionally abused for being asexual

[Guest]

My brother keeps emotionally abusing me because I keep to myself as an asexual. This emotional abuse has been going on for long. I'm aromantic and I keep getting misunderstood as someone that I'm not, the usual insults that I don't want to discuss here. I just need help on coping strategies. It's getting to the point where I'm speaking to helplines and it's getting too much. I'm not the best with emotional stuff so I need help on positive coping strategies. I will appreciate any advice. xx

[Sniveon]

Coping is very personal but I like to plan stories, not even related to my problems but original ideas that may portray how I feel or a specific message. 

I also like to lie on my bed/couch and just listen to music albums, my go to albums are: 

-Moenie and Kitchi by Gregory and the Hawk

-The Wall by Pink Floyd

-American Idiot- Green Day

All of those have a meaning that I found beautiful or interesting. 

Hope that you feel better soon.

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, Sniveon said:

Coping is very personal but I like to plan stories, not even related to my problems but original ideas that may portray how I feel or a specific message. 

I also like to lie on my bed/couch and just listen to music albums, my go to albums are: 

-Moenie and Kitchi by Gregory and the Hawk

-The Wall by Pink Floyd

-American Idiot- Green Day

All of those have a meaning that I found beautiful or interesting. 

Hope that you feel better soon.

Thank you for the advice. I remember listening to Green Day during my emo days, wonderful nostalgia! 

[Sniveon]

Just now, stampoc said:

Thank you for the advice. I remember listening to Green Day during my emo days, wonderful nostalgia! 

Green Day is awesome! I've found that american idiot is really melancholic, just listening to the whole thing makes you see something really human and it's an interesting interpretation on the America of those days. I like it a lot!

 

[Eutierria]

How many languages are you able to think/converse in? Try to see if you can talk to yourself (the side seeking guidance to the side of you that you offer friends when they need help), using your second language. 

 

Do you journal? Writing things down can stop them swirling in your head. 

 

Do you have any aro-ace friends who may have the mental energy to talk through things with you & just chat? Topic of conversation doesn't matter, just having someone there who is similar to you can help. 

 

Do you have a "happy place" you can physically or mentally go to? 

 

What about hobbies? Distract yourself. 

 

Is your brother the type to back off if you explain that they're being hurtful? 

 

Hope you find something that works for you. 

[Guest]

12 minutes ago, Eutierria said:

How many languages are you able to think/converse in? Try to see if you can talk to yourself (the side seeking guidance to the side of you that you offer friends when they need help), using your second language. I know English, I used to learn basic French.

 

Do you journal? Writing things down can stop them swirling in your head. I'm currently journalling and I write with pain and lots of swearing.

 

Do you have any aro-ace friends who may have the mental energy to talk through things with you & just chat? Topic of conversation doesn't matter, just having someone there who is similar to you can help. I have no aro-ace friends in real life but I have support from some people in real life and online community groups on social media.

 

Do you have a "happy place" you can physically or mentally go to? Forums

 

What about hobbies? Distract yourself. I'm currently on my weight loss journey so I'm doing all these cool dance moves like Zumba, it's funny I can barely do any of the dance moves! lol

 

Is your brother the type to back off if you explain that they're being hurtful? My brother is a bully, he does not care about my feelings. It's like being at high school all over again ! All my life I've been bullied so I'm used to it. 

 

Hope you find something that works for you. 

 

[Sniveon]

16 minutes ago, stampoc said:

My brother is a bully, he does not care about my feelings. It's like being at high school all over again ! All my life I've been bullied so I'm used to it. 

Being used to it is not good, as someone who has experienced bulling I can say that if you get used to it the recovery will be even harder. Remember that you deserve to be happy and respect from other people! I truly hope that your situation gets better, stay strong!

[Guest]

Hi Sniveon, funnily enough my bully brother actually got bullied by someone else bigger today...it's weird, this has never happened in years... I wanted to stick up for him but I did not...me and my brother do not speak as friends, it's sad. I wish me and my brother would reconcile one day but I don't see that happening any time soon.  But for now I'm going to continue being me as an asexual, I'm not changing because I feel so comfortable with the aromantic asexual label, it's my identity. I even collected some positive quotes and I truly believe that despite all the bullying I'm still going to reach my personal goals. I'm not going to let the bullies distract me, the bullies will not win.

[brbdogsonfire]

3 hours ago, stampoc said:

Hi Sniveon, funnily enough my bully brother actually got bullied by someone else bigger today...it's weird, this has never happened in years... I wanted to stick up for him but I did not...me and my brother do not speak as friends, it's sad. I wish me and my brother would reconcile one day but I don't see that happening any time soon.  But for now I'm going to continue being me as an asexual, I'm not changing because I feel so comfortable with the aromantic asexual label, it's my identity. I even collected some positive quotes and I truly believe that despite all the bullying I'm still going to reach my personal goals. I'm not going to let the bullies distract me, the bullies will not win.

Does your brother know you are asexual? Asexuality has nothing to do with being a loner who sticks to themselves. Source: I am heterosexual and am a loner.