Am I Demi-romantic???

[ScarletKitty]

Sigh

 

Here we go I guess? So, sup, I'm new to AVEN. While I know for a fact I'm not Ace and I'm very much Bisexual, I'm starting to question if I'm Demi-romantic?

I've had a few partners, but I don't believe those count as I was under the age of 8, and after that I've had a total of 3 crushes. This is where my doubt for me being Demi-romanic comes from. Before this I didn't Identify as any romantic orientation, simply didn't think on it much. Any who, my first "Crush" (I say that lightly) was then I was about 11-12, young I know, but anyway, I called this a crush, unsure if it was ACTUALLY a crush or not despite being quite sure at the time, it might of just been me forcing a friendship and feeling like it should be something more, since this guy confessed to me and I immediately no longer had any feelings? Ugh 

 

The 2nd time I had any "Crush" (I say this even more likely cos I like NEVER talk to this dude) I'm highly unsure if this was simply me making up a personality for someone in my mind and falling in love this that after finding someone physically attractive. Since I day dream a lot this is a high possibility. And lastly is someone I currently believe I like. I've known them for about a year, though semi-known them for about two or three years. He isn't what I'd call my "physical" type, like, I would never normally be physically attracted to him, but now I am? It might be a real crush this time since he's one of the very few people I have begun to consider as "Close" friends.

 

Apart from the general infatuation with made up character or such, would I still classify as Demi-romantic despite this? These are the only three instances I've ever felt remotely close to liking someone past a physical stand point... But I feel like because of the first two people I've considered "Crushes" I don't fit into Demi-romantic. Another thing is that I really do want a romantic reaction ship, I want to date, but I don't want to date just anyone, I want there to be a deeper connection. Like, am I just very bad at relationships and letting people close or am I ACTUALLY Demi-romantic?

 

Anyway, thoughts? ❤️

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hii.

Everyone projects an image on others, and it can either hinder getting to know them deeper, or can drive to get to know them even more, so I don't see that as meaning anything, besides that you're human 😜 Some people do it more than others, but anyway, even romantic people can take a while to really like or fall for someone, so it doesn't mean that you're only demi-romantic, especially if you've had crushes. Crushing itself is basically having romantic attraction. Needing to really like or be close to someone actually makes a lot of sense, because then you do know more about them rather than it being about an image you form in your mind. Whether youre romantic or demi-romantic, I don't think you're on a weird track to want a deeper connection. You've only had a couple of connections, and you're young, so I wouldn't try to put too much into it, the romantic game is.. it can take time to get something going. It's just about going for it until you find someone you really like (and that like you too).

It's actually cool that you've turned down some  people, because it means you have some respect for yourself and didn't try to force a relationship even if you didn't have the feelings you thought. I think feelings can be strange sometimes, and we do get launched into them at times but then see that maybe it was impulsive, and we need longer or deeper connection for the ones that last more. I think you're just learning about all that on your own, and that's nice. Don't think there's something wrong with you, it's a learning process too, including about yourself. I've learned some things lately too, and im older than you. I'm more Bi than I thought, but I still have different kinds of feelings for different types of people, so it can make things odd but I also had stronger feelings for one person and I know it feels better there, and I'm curious if more can happen. Anyway Just keep honoring yourself and following your heart when it feels right, that's the best advice i can think to give

[Rynn]

Hmm, generally demi-romantic means that there needs to be a deep longstanding emotional connection (like best friends for a year or something) before any romantic attraction can happen. To me it does not sound like that's what's happening in this case, since you mentioned you were able to crush on people even if you have not spoken to them.

 

It could be that romantic attraction is just rarer for you than it is for most people?

 

But ultimately it's up to you what you decide to identify as of course