How do You Handle the "Get Help" Comments?

[GreyOwl79]

Amazing. I'm just coming into this and doing research, and I've already gotten a comment from someone about needing to seek professional help because I'm missing out on one of life's pleasures. He wasn't mean or nasty about it, but he left me this long comment about seeking out a professional who specializes in this stuff to get over my sexual anxiety and all. I don't want to. I've been like this for 40 years. And I don't see why it is a bad thing to not think sex is the end all for everything. Anyway! I assume I'll hear this a lot, and I assume most people won't be nearly as nice about it. How do you handle it?

Edited February 16, 2020 by GreyOwl79

[Philip027]

"Get lost"

 

Or, you know, ignoring works too.  Most of the people who will put you down (for any reason) really just aren't worth the effort; they're like internet trolls that get off on your reaction

[NickyTannock]

I usually point out that such lines have been said to people with other minority sexual orientations as well, and that someone's sexual orientation can't be intentionally changed.

[Guest]

I just don't tell people. I told my sister, my brothers and my friend but no one else needs to know.

[Chloe88]

I do get that comment and it is genuinely well meaning. I don't get upset because asexuality is not well known of and so people do think that I need help, so ask me if I have sought help.

 

Who knows, some people may well need to get help to eliminate causes, but I feel there is no harm in getting help.

[Dr. Beat]

You can't miss out on something you don't want. 

[Janus the Fox]

No problem of mine, no problem of yours.

 

If somebody goes intrusive, I’ve got the backing of docs to prove it’s all fine, though changing subject before then.  It shouldn’t be ‘that’ interesting the lack of interest in one topic.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Tell them to fuck off?

[Chocolatastic AroAce]

I wonder why it's always the absence of something people assume is bad and requires help. I bet no one asks them if they need help for their frequent sexual urges..

[abandoned-account]

mind yo own bizness.

[CourtlyLove]

Had a somewhat close friend tell me this when I came out to him. Found it a bit hurtful and surprising given his open mindedness on almost every other topic/orientation. I just said I was happy and avoided the topic after that.

 

On 2/16/2020 at 9:12 AM, Dr. Beat said:

You can't miss out on something you don't want. 

This, exactly.

[deletingthisaccount]

The problem is that asexuality isn't very well-known, so many people misunderstand the concept, and think that asexuals merely have a low-libido caused by some sort of physical or mental condition (or a fear of sex), rather than realize it's a legitimate sexual orientation. Of course, you don't have to discuss or explain your asexuality beyond what you're comfortable with. You could always just ignore it.

 

However, if you want to handle these situations by directly addressing the comments (as I tend to do), you could try to explain how asexuality is a sexual orientation and distinguish it from any sort of low-libido caused by illness, fear, etc. Asexuality is an inherent absence of sexual attraction or desire -- professional help can "cure" it, as is with homosexuality, nor do you want to be "cured." Nothing can force you to want something that you don't want.

[Zagadka]

I am getting help, and I am well aware of where my lifestyle needs improvement and where I am content. I'm not a child, I know what hurts, and I live accordingly. I don't have the same needs as other people, and I don't expect other people to have the same needs as me.