ConfusedJess Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Long story short, I met someone, we tried to see if dating would work for us, but they felt we were moving more toward being friends. I never figured out if I had romantic feelings for them even thought I started envisioning doing romantic stuff with them. We were litterally just hanging out to know each other better. I know that early on, I told myself that if dating didn't work, I really wanted to stay friend with them. We are trying to be friend, but I am at the ackward transition of potential dating to friend. It has been a month and I can't seem to treat them like my other friendship. It felt more than my usual friendship, and I read that squish is an intense attraction to be friend with someone. I'm happy just spending time with them and I don't think about doing romantic stuff with them anymore (but that could be more because now I'm trying to be friends). Can it still be a squish if I think about them more than my bff, if it takes me an eternity just to decide if I text them or not, if I have a stupid smile everytime I received a texto from them and I overthink everything they say? Or is that romantic feeling, and in this case I'm totally screwed? Link to post Share on other sites
gabriele Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 It's really hard to tell, since there is a thin line between a crush and a squish, I think. To me it seems like this might be a crush after all, since you had envisioned being with them in a romantic way and you felt differently than in your other friendships. It fact, the first question you formed here, talking about you feeling that they are more than a bff - it definitely leads me to believe than you have a crush on your friend and not just a squish. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedJess Posted February 15, 2020 Author Share Posted February 15, 2020 Thank you for your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Whilst we all experience these things slightly differently, in my case I’ve had similar experiences and I’ve understood them to be romantic or alterous attraction. Either form of attraction gives me the “stupid smile when they text” feeling 😊. The way I personally tell the difference is that I only feel like doing stereotypically romantic stuff with someone I have romantic feelings for. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedJess Posted February 15, 2020 Author Share Posted February 15, 2020 I didn't know alterous attraction was a thing. :0 I think it describes better what I feel, because the thing I want the most from this relationship with them is to continue to have meaningful conversation between us. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
letusdeleteouraccounts Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 A crush is defined as an intense infatuation, something that could be either romantic, sexual, a combination of both, or just plain platonic. A squish is just a crush in a platonic context, lacking desire for sexual intimacy or romantic partnership. Your situation does seem to be squish since to my understanding, you’d rather be friends but you think about them more than even your best friend Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedJess Posted February 15, 2020 Author Share Posted February 15, 2020 That makes sense. It does feel like an intense infatuation from my point of view, because I never felt like this before. While we were trying to date and now that we are friends, my feelings for them and what I like/want in a realtionship with them have not really change except that now I stopped thinking about doing romantic stuff like kissing and holding hands (even though i could imagine doing those things with them once I got to know them better while we were trying to get to know each other). But yeah, I feel no desire for sexual intimacy and no longer want to do romantic stuff. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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