Romantic orientation

[I'll laugh as the worlds..]

How important is it to know your romantic orientation??? I feel like it's kinda imporant but I have absoluty no idea what romantic orientation is. I know I'm not aro. I like people but they've mostly been girls. I think the closest thing I could find was demi- romantic but it still feels a little off. So I guess my main thing is is there such a thing as like queer-romantic or something kinda like demi-romantic???

[Philip027]

Yes, hi, I'm demiromantic.  It's a thing.  I happen to also be heteroromantic, although they can also be bi or pan or whatever.

 

Demiromantic is less so an orientation on its own though, and more of a descriptor.  Imo orientations must specify sexes/genders to which someone is attracted to, which demi doesn't do on its own.  But, semantics, meh...

[SithLord]

Not very important if you know who/what you want. Labels just help us simplify it for others to understand. Like saying hetero-romantic is like saying "I'm romantically attracted to members of the 'opposite/other' gender" but in a single word others can understand.

 

So if you know you like girls, you're all good. If you're into everyone with a preference towards girls, still good. You don't need the label bi/pan-romantic or homo-romantic as long as you understand yourself and can express it for others to understand. 

 

Also, yes, there are the usual add-ons to romantic attraction as there are to other forms of attraction. You can be demi-, grey-, queer-, whatever fun labels you feel are appropriate. 

[the-spaceace]

Through my own personal social experiences, I've found that for people who identify as asexual, romantic orientation is a lot more important than for someone who would identify as a lesbian (for example). This is usually because someone who might identify as a lesbian has the same sexual and romantic preference (i.e. homosexual and homoromantic). This is not universally true, but that is what I have personally come across the most.

That being said, as an asexual individual, you do not have to have/know a romantic orientation. Figuring that aspect of yourself out can be just as confusing and challenging as figuring out any other aspect of your identity and should be done with as much care and consideration as you would give anything else. Romantic orientation usually encompasses how you respond emotionally to someone that you find attractive outside of a platonic manner. Various examples of romantic identities include homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic, etc. It might take a little searching - as does any identity discovery does - before you find something that you feel fits, but also know that it's perfectly fine to go without one.

If you have any other questions, we're here to support you! ❤️ I know you also said you weren't quite sure about what romantic attraction might look/feel like, so hopefully this link here helps you out a little with that!

[CrazyCatLover]

It took me almost a decade to figure out what exactly my romantic orientation was. For the longest time, my profile said "asexual, romantically confused!" Throughout all of it, I knew that I was interested in a nonsexual, separate bedrooms for sleeping, but frequent cuddling relationship with a man, woman, or enby. To be honest, accepting that that description was enough to go off of was very liberating. You don't necessarily need an exact label as long as you know what you're looking for.  

[Suki-san]

Two words: Biromantic Asexual.