Jump to content

Sex


Stevemart

Recommended Posts

Are humans supposed to know what things taste like before we put it in our mouths? Are we supposed to be able to conjure up the sensation in our minds, independent of sensing it? 

 

No. Sometimes we can stretch our imaginations, though, especially if we apply other senses, like smell, or even sight and texture. If I see a fruit that looks like a raspberry but is light green, I might imagine its taste as a mix of raspberry and green grape. I may or may not be right, but my mind can come up with something. 

 

Can we tell what plants might be poison before eating them? We might be naturally adverse to certain kinds of fruits but not be able to articulate why. Maybe that's because we're genetically deterred from certain things, as our ancestors lived long enough to procreate because they didn't eat deadly berries. Other species survive by avoiding food, and afaik they don't have child paramilitary training like Boy Scouts. 

 

Humans are able to observe the body parts that tingle. They're able to observe what body parts are different between them and somebody of a different sex. They're able to deduce that these different body parts are in the same place, between the legs, and that one sticks out and gets hard and throbs with sensational circulation, while the other gets hot and wet on the inside as muscles contract to create a sense of vacancy that can be filled. Babies don't come out of the womb, look at all the adults in the delivery room, ask for a cell phone, and just type "🍆➡️🌮". They have to develop to that point. It's a logical extension of mental and physical development to grasp what sex is. But we're also social creatures and we thrive by transferring knowledge to make these things more efficient. Awareness through education usually comes well before unassisted epiphanies of personal physiology. That's why people are giving different answers. 

 

But I'm asexual, so please dismiss this garbage, because I don't want to fuck like a badger, and I'm less driven to go out into nature to find sexual experiences, even for the sake of science. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, CBC said:

Oh my god. You have a level of patience I do not. Also you just made sex sound kinda gross, so... good job? 😂

 

"Sticks out and gets hard and throbs."
 

"Gets hot and wet on the inside."

 

😐

Hey I'm just channeling the spirit of mediocre male authors. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a girl. I like guys. I've watched a lot of porn, and I mean A LOT, before I even turned 13. Straight, gay, lesbian, threesomes, vanilla, bdsm, pretend rape, sisters, etc... but despite watching it so much, most of the time I genuinely had absolutely no idea what was even going on. I didn't really know what happened during sex until I was 16. And even then I mostly just knew what happened when two guys have sex, cause I learned from reading fanfics, lol. I mean I guess I kind of always knew that in straight sex, uh, usually the penis goes into the vagina, and that's how babies are made, but I didn't really think about it much. I didn't really start thinking about straight sex until I was 17. And in the beginning it was kind of confusing so I really did have to learn what happens there. I didn't just "innately" know. It's embarrassing, but for a long time I didn't even know that the clitoris and the G-spot are two different things... even though I've masturbated ever since I was very young.

Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, CBC said:

Yikes, that sounds... not great? I think I was 23 or 24 when I first saw porn.

Yeah. I've mentioned it here on AVEN a few times. It probably messed me up a little. Eventually I started to feel really disgusted with myself so I stopped watching porn.

 

Tbh for a long time I saw sex as something bad and dirty and shameful and I definitely didn't connect sex with love at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When I say 'innate', I mean I'm pretty sure in the moment, part of physical and mental arousal is an instinctive urge to fuck at some point for most people (or something also involving penetration if their gay). I'm not saying it's some rational revelation, or even it's particularly to do with learning what you find pleasurable. It's one of those things I'd imagine asexuals just won't be about to get their heads round, but I think it's fairly universal for most sexuals,in the same way that necking down water is when you're hot. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
1 hour ago, CBC said:

Yeah, I... yeah. I don't know where I got that message from as a kid/teen but I know I got it loud and clear. Being human in general, having wants or needs or making mistakes or speaking up or disagreeing even on mundane shit -- it was all shameful. I guess I know where that comes from... but that's diving into shitty family dynamics now, and parents who didn't deal with their own crap.

Insecure adults who project their insecurities and shames onto children who are too young to be able to detect or defend themselves from BS. One of the many wonderfully fucked up lessons I got from my parents. I can only thank my defiant nature that Im not even more fucked up than what I already am. Otherwise Id be in the same boat as them.

 

 

Quote

 

I knew sex was supposed to go with love (in the context of a relationship, anyway), or at least trust and comfort, but early experiences of much of anything related to my sexuality didn't play that out too well and then my marriage fucked me up a bit and made me feel rather shitty about being a sexual person.

Sex and relationships were a big no-no; or at least that was the projected image I saw so much growing up; starting with parents and then many other adults who didnt have their shit together then and dont have it now.  Probably one of the core reasons why Im so againts relationships at a personal level and sex still generates so much uncomfortableness.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross

I used to mold my behaviour to that which they found as acceptable. A mistake on my part but then again I didnt want to be constantly getting the belt which was the solution to everything, especially being the eldest because the rules were that much stricter.

 

Funnily enough its now my parents who cant handle strict discipline

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza
3 hours ago, CBC said:

my parents barely know me

Completely unrelated to this thread, but this is my life. It's frightening how much of my life is completely unknown to my parents, and how little I give a shit. What's funny is they think they know everything.

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, CBC said:

Yeah the basic instinct is certainly innate. The details of specific preferences, not necessarily, but the general act... I don't know how it couldn't be innate. I've never read a "how to fuck" instructional in my life, but somehow figured it out...

Right, lots of trial and error on what feels good. However, some have a more natural sense about it and ability to draw it out beyond baby making. 
 

I’m not particularly tactile by nature, read erotica, watched porn for years, had a few relationships and been married for awhile. Yet, it wasn’t until my 40’s that I learned where my erogenous zones were or how to give and take in various ways. I’m not an idiot, but beyond basic procreation, a lot of it isn’t “innate”. 
 

Even with basic procreation though, there are always those that came before us. Armadillos may not have sex ed classes, but they do socialize, see and learn from their posse of armadillos. Knowledge is handed down routinely across species and time. Wise elders are generally seen as wise for a reason. In any case, it’s both likely and clearly not innate for all. Enter AVEN...

Link to post
Share on other sites

And more to the point, many times it’s both taught and learned.  
 

God, I wish I had a class right now! 😂

 

My favorite professor is out playing golf at the moment. Sigh.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/12/2020 at 12:33 AM, CBC said:

Yeah the basic instinct is certainly innate. The details of specific preferences, not necessarily, but the general act... I don't know how it couldn't be innate. I've never read a "how to fuck" instructional in my life, but somehow figured it out...

Interesting. I was a nerd so I read a lot before actually trying it. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
2 hours ago, CBC said:

Yeah I... mostly did not haha. Maybe a bit out of anxiety, but I also knew that reading wouldn't really do bugger all. I'm also a massive nerd haha, but sex seems like one of those things I can't 'nerdify'.

Its a little different for me, only way I can come to understand it is if I can quantify it, despite the fact that the information will be of no use outside discussions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Love and attraction will often have elements that aren't even fully realized when they're happening,moreso for some than others.  Logicking one's way through love will often just not work.  No one will ever, ever fully nerdify all of it, not without some kind of weird star-trek level of scanning devices.
Sex is both partially innate and partially learned.  Bunnies seem to have a basic idea of how to do it without ever being shown, but sometimes they get it wrong and hump the wrong end or an inanimate object that looks nothing like a bunny.   

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
19 hours ago, Someone Else said:

Love and attraction will often have elements that aren't even fully realized when they're happening,moreso for some than others.  Logicking one's way through love will often just not work.  No one will ever, ever fully nerdify all of it, not without some kind of weird star-trek level of scanning devices.
Sex is both partially innate and partially learned.  Bunnies seem to have a basic idea of how to do it without ever being shown, but sometimes they get it wrong and hump the wrong end or an inanimate object that looks nothing like a bunny.   

 

 

I'm not really interested in experiencing love so much as taking it apart, which in itself will always have a degree of limitations much like any research. 

 

As for sex, it's an interesting detail to ponder what is the reach of innate reaction. Mechanically speaking, it's not a mystery how sex happens and yet the fact that we exists as asexuals, (not in some trendy fashion) too many for it to be just a birth defect, fluke of nature, etc, even though we are outnumbered 10 to 1 (so far) puts a bit of a huge dent in that theory because we are otherwise no different than other humans, from whom we are born; so sexual parent-asexual offspring (which is my case as both my parents are sexual, and so is my brother. I'm the oddball in the bunch, not only in my immediate unit but also extended family. Unless everyone suddenly comes out as ace, I'm sort of like the abomination of the group) is a rather interesting dichotomy in of itself because you wouldn't be able to say it's genetic. There are also cases (though few) of asexuals born into supportive family units so it can't be 100% attributed that the reason we come to be is due to learned behavior. Repression and shaming can play a role in mentally screwing a person, sometimes for life but what happens in those rare cases where there is no shaming, no repression, a supportive unit, and yet asexuals come about?

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

you wouldn't be able to say it's genetic.

Yeah you would. Unique differences emerge as the parental DNA combines, which is why we're not identical to either parent. One of those differences could be a tendency towards asexuality - not that there's a single asexual gene, but in groups of genes which make some people more predisposed to be a particular way. That's how genetic expressions seem to work in most cases.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
5 minutes ago, Expedition said:

Yeah you would. Unique differences emerge as the parental DNA combines, which is why we're not identical to either parent. One of those differences could be a tendency towards asexuality - not that there's a single asexual gene, but in groups of genes which make some people more predisposed to be a particular way. That's how genetic expressions seem to work in most cases.

Not identical, true. But offsprings will mostly retain traits from both parents ( temperament, skin eye and hair color and such) but sexuality seems to be one of the few things outside the genetic pool

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Not identical, true. But offsprings will mostly retain traits from both parents ( temperament, skin eye and hair color and such) but sexuality seems to be one of the few things outside the genetic pool

How can a child have both parents' eye colour, if they have different colour eyes? Short of each eye being a different colour, which is rare. 

 

Some traits are different and more complex than others. Some diseases just require one gene to be different, others are recessive and need both parents to pass on specific patterns, others need a series of unrelated genes to be in a particular code, some require environmental triggering. 

 

The genome is massively complicated, let alone its interaction with the environment. Saying sexuality is unrelated to genes and thus a special case seems entirely unsupported by evidence and probability. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
12 minutes ago, Expedition said:

How can a child have both parents' eye colour, if they have different colour eyes? Short of each eye being a different colour, which is rare. 

 

Some traits are different and more complex than others. Some diseases just require one gene to be different, others are recessive and need both parents to pass on specific patterns, others need a series of unrelated genes to be in a particular code, some require environmental triggering. 

 

The genome is massively complicated, let alone its interaction with the environment. Saying sexuality is unrelated to genes and thus a special case seems entirely unsupported by evidence and probability. 

In cases where both parents have the same eye color, it's almost certain an offspring will have the same, if they are different, one of them will pass that gene but it's still within the parameters of their eye colors.

 

An anomaly would be that not only the parents but family and such all have brown eyes for instance and an offspring is born with blue eyes, just as it's considered a rare anomaly to have one color in each eye yet if it's the same color as the parents, it's still within range as opposed to blue eyes which would be out of bounds so to speak.

 

I know that some genes need triggering and all and it's not as cut and dry with it but sexuality seems to defy that pattern. 

 

In my family, most are straight, some gay/lesbian, though not accepted as such. Then you have me, the only ace (so far) in the group. If it turned out that I was gay, then it may be different because there is evidence of genes in the family with that trait. But there are no other asexuals in the family.

 

yes I know that sounds contradictory to what I previously wrote.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
16 minutes ago, Expedition said:

Why do you think that though?

Because of what I stated above.

 

If there was even one other Ace in the family, I would think that although very rare, there is a basis from which my own asexuality stems. But I kind of just happened, with no warning, no base and no explanation.

 

An anomaly in other words, which, if it carried on, then if I had kids, there would be a chance it can happen again; if we play by regular gene attribution. So they could say "my father was asexual and so am I", or even grandkids or more as I know genes skip generations. 

 

Though I won't have any kids so if mine is a new gene or an abnormal one, it will also die with me.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Every single person is two people's sets of genes mashed together into one person's though. Some pairs are all one person, some the other person, some a combination, some are a mistake in the cut and paste, creating entirely new characteristics from neither parent.

 

That's how sexual reproduction works and it's the basis of evolution. 

 

I don't see how or why sexual characteristics would be a special case. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross
14 minutes ago, Expedition said:

some are a mistake in the cut and paste, creating entirely new characteristics from neither parent.

this is the key phrase

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...