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Questions about Gender


Eleanor Patterson

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Eleanor Patterson

Hi y’all. I didn’t know who else to ask so I decided to turn to this because at least someone will be helpful in answering my questions. 
So, right now, I’m figuring out my gender and I’m not positive. I know that I don’t need a label, but it would make many insecurities about my gender decrease if I am able to identify with other people. 
I thought that I might be a demigirl or genderfluid. Now, I’m leaning more towards genderfluid, but I’m not sure exactly what that means. I mean, I do know, but I am very against being called he/him pronouns because of negative experiences with it in the past. 
So, my question is, can I fluctuate between

just she/they/and other non-binary genders or genderfluid mean that you fluctuate between all genders? 
I’m probably overthinking this, but if you have any answers that would be great 😁. I know that I am at least partially a non binary gender but don’t think that I am non-binary entirely, and still identify at least somewhat with female pronouns. 

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I'm not gender fluid, but from my understanding, the term just refers to fluctuation between genders. I don't think it matters which ones/how many/etc. The only advice I can really give is, if the label feels right to you, you should go ahead and use it. I know it's been said a lot, but it can always be said again. And if you discover something in the future that makes you realize that might not be the most accurate for you, or something changes, that's totally fine. 

 

I'm in a bit of a gender haze myself to be honest. :P

 

Also, welcome! I hope you find what you're looking for here on AVEN.

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Just Somebody

I speak this as an person who identifies as genderfluid as my gender identity and who also has studied gender for a long time:

 

 

Gender identities, like man, woman and the non-binary ones, are just words/names/labels that name sociocultural historical (lets call them social for short) groups/categories of people built by people (what means that gender identities are infinite).

 

 

As someone who identifies as genderfluid for my gender identity, I happen to switch randomly (take into consideration that some genderfluid people on the other hand are aware of what circumstances trigger their changes tho, there may (even if the person isnt aware at all) or may not be reasons depending on each person case) from considering myself part of or feeling represented by (same as identifying as) a gender identity label/name/word/group/category at a certain moment to considering myself part of or feeling represented by (identifying as) another one at another moment.

 

 

Many people get it wrong,  it's not the same thing as changing from a certain gender expression (appearance and behaviors) to another, like changing from expressing yourself in ways socioculturally historically considered feminine to  others considered masculine or vice-versa (you don't have to identify as genderfluid in order to do that).

 

 

 

Not everybody who identify as genderfluid change from identifying with the gender identity (word/label/term/group/category) man to identifying with the gender identity woman or vice-versa.

 

 

 

Genderfluid is an gender identity label/name/word/group/category (as well as an umbrella/community too) under and part of the multigender gender identify label/name/word/group/category/umbrella/community.

 

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I'm not genderfluid, but my understanding from my days of figuring out my gender is that genderfluid simply means you fluctuate between 2 or more genders. So you could be genderfluid and only switch between nonbinary and female, or switch between the entire spectrum (is that the right word?) of genders. In other words, yes, you can still be genderfluid even if you don't fluctuate between all the genders. :)

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Unleash the Echidnas

I imagine genderfluidity will eventually develop specific terminology the way (a)romaticism and (a)sexuality have but, to my knowledge, no one's proposed a particular vocabulary as yet (or, if someone has, it seems not to be in widespread use). So, as @Just Somebodymentioned, genderfluid's an umbrella term. There's quite some variability in how far and how fast people shift. For example, some of the gq bloggers I've read talk about choosing which binary gender to present on a day by day basis depending on how they feel when they get up in the morning along with sometimes going home to switch if they've shifted enough during the day.

 

I'm kind of the opposite in that I don't ever feel just male or female and not uncommonly find myself checking distance from the male-female continuum. I've never felt agender and sometimes my sense of having a gender is comparatively muted. But usually it's most natural for me to think in terms of being more female or more male, occasionally mostly female and less commonly mostly male. My gender usually drifts over weeks or months. Over the years I've noticed I tend to shift more male in response to certain kinds of long-term stresses, which I find kind of curious.

 

What you've written, @Eleanor Patterson, makes me think of a genderfluid range including female or maybe something which kind of orbits around demigirl. So perhaps those would be ideas to try and see if they get you anywhere.

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Eleanor Patterson

Thank you all! All of this is really helpful. 😁

 

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Janus the Fox

The definitions list is always handy as well :)

 

 

 

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