I could probably just force myself

[joiam]

I've been hitting the dating apps for about two years, trying to find 'that special someone.' My most recent darting situation involved four dates and escalated to second base. After that (our last date), he ghosted me. The fact that he lost interest as soon as we fooled around does not escape my notice. Was that all he wanted? Was I bad at it?

 

I didn't like or dislike the sexual stuff we did. I'm apathetic. But it has got me thinking... I could probably just keep having sex, even though I'm not getting anything out of it. It's just a compromise, essentially. And I'm lonely. I want a relationship, and if all I have to do is 'lie back and think of England' now and then, wouldn't it be worth it?

[Live Aloha Every Day!]

Im sorry...I feel for you. I believe there will be someone out there for you that will love you for who you truly are! Maybe a few years older/younger, a few pounds lighter/heavier...but with a heart of gold ✿◠‿◠ 

[abarda]

Hey! That's really hard sometimes, I'm sorry. Do you tell your potential partners about your orientation? Because quite often they're okay with not having (or having just a bit) sex if they're right for you and love you.

You don't have to do something that you're not enjoying. At least, not more than you're ready to do it.

Hope you'll find someone special who understand you!

[Homer]

The question is not if you'll get sick of it at some point, but when. Also, your partner will definitely notice that you're just laying back, thinking of England. "Forcing yourself" will only get you so far and the longer it goes on, the more it will hurt when you can't keep up anymore.

 

I'm not interested in romance though, so that's easy for me to say... *is off to search engine "second base"*

[joiam]

3 minutes ago, Homer said:

The question is not if you'll get sick of it at some point, but when. Also, your partner will definitely notice that you're just laying back, thinking of England. "Forcing yourself" will only get you so far and the longer it goes on, the more it will hurt when you can't keep up anymore.

 

I'm not interested in romance though, so that's easy for me to say... *is off to search engine "second base"*

You know what... I actually just Googled it as well. Turns out it was technically third base. Can you tell I don't play baseball?

[everywhere and nowhere]

I will never force myself to have sex and I'm proud of it. Because living according to my own values is more important for me than a relationship.

Nobody should have unwanted sex.

[Abigail Rose]

What you described here makes me sad. Why would you knowingly have sex as payment for companionship. If I am somewhere else in my mind to avoid the way you described then I would not be true to my heart. How can you hope to truly have the companion you deserve if you are not willing say what really makes you happy? Be you. 

[lizc]

I can totally understand that feeling. That was me for the longest time.. Like long enough to get engaged and I did it because he was very into sex and I felt like it was my only shot. But I wasn't into it and my body knew. It started to hurt. And we both were hurt in the process. Going to your happy place can only do so much when you're forcing yourself to do something. While I don't know you I am sure you have amazing qualities that some lucky person would love to get to know and could be understanding of you as you are. Relationships can be confusing and require compromise but if your mental health is the thing they are compromising on, run. If someone can't appreciate you then they didn't deserve you in the first place. Just be careful with those dating apps because people aren't always honest about what they want.. except for the guy that says he wants to lick your toes... he is probably telling the truth