Why do people confuse demisexual and demiromantic?

[Soft cookie]

Hello! I identify as a demisexual. On a lot of articles but in the community as well I have seen people confuse the terms demisexual and demiromantic. For example I have heard that demisexuals don't have crushes. I have always had crushes but they have only been romantic, I really don't want to have sex with them or even kiss them. We can feel romantic attraction just based on someone's physical traits but there is nothing sexual at all. That is why I have struggled with my identity. In order to be demisexual you don't have to be demiromantic as well. I have seen many topics on demisexuality talking about romantic attraction and it can confuse many people when it comes to figuring out if they are in the spectrum.

[Yoruka]

I guess they still lump in sexual and romantic attraction together.

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

Likely has to do with demisexual being a sub label for sexualities that are often seen as going hand and hand with romanticisms. When a guy says that he’s bisexual, people will assume he’s also biromantic (a large portion of people don’t understand that you can have one of these attractions without the other anyways). When a guy says that he’s bisexual and demisexual, people will assume the same thing stated earlier but along with that he’s only interested in people after developing an emotional connection

[Guest]

My understanding of demisexuality though was that you can only develop a desire for sexual intimacy in conjunction with a romantic bond?

 

How are you defining it? 

 

(Edit: like most things here it's defined a million different ways lol)

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

17 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

My understanding of demisexuality though was that you can only develop a desire for sexual intimacy in conjunction with a romantic bond

My understanding is that it only requires an “emotional connection” which doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic

[Soft cookie]

1 hour ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

My understanding of demisexuality though was that you can only develop a desire for sexual intimacy in conjunction with a romantic bond?

 

How are you defining it? 

 

(Edit: like most things here it's defined a million different ways lol)

To feel sexual attraction there needs to be an emotional bond in general. I also need to feel romantically attracted as well, otherwise there is no way I'll experience sexual attraction. But just romantic feelings alone don't make me feel anything sexual. In simple words, I need to "fall in love", bond emotionally with the other person and then I'll experience sexual attraction.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Star Lion said:

My understanding is that it only requires an “emotional connection” which doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic

oops yeah my bad I actually meant 'an emotional connection'. That was a fail on my part cheers for pointing that out!

 

59 minutes ago, Soft cookie said:

To feel sexual attraction there needs to be an emotional bond in general. I also need to feel romantically attracted as well, otherwise there is no way I'll experience sexual attraction. But just romantic feelings alone don't make me feel anything sexual. In simple words, I need to "fall in love", bond emotionally with the other person and then I'll experience sexual attraction.

oooh okay so in your OP it sounded like you were saying you develop sexual attraction separate from an emotional connection, but you have to know someone for ages to want sex with them. That's where I was confused! 

 

Whereas the definition you just gave, that makes 100% sense and to be honest that's the most common definition that I see around here (I meant 'emotional bond' in my earlier comment and just said romantic by accident, silly me). I have never seen anyone finding that definition confused exactly but I see what you're saying now!