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Asexuality and going to the doctor


Kassie747

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Sister Mercurial
On 4/14/2020 at 10:58 PM, Diana DeLuna said:

it's an excuse for doctors to have a sanctioned reason to be pervy

Exactly.  Self-tests exist.  If they really cared about women's health, self-tests would be the norm.  

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When they get to the "Are you or could you be pregnant?" question, I always joke "Not unless my name suddenly changed to Mary."  The ones that smile are keepers. 

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greenflamingo

Your age may be a factor (are you a teen or early 20s?). They may worry that young people are more likely to hide sexual activity, that they may not have had proper sex education and are vulnerable, etc. and are trying to compensate for that. 

 

I am rarely asked these questions by doctors, and when I am, they accept the answer without comment. I am annoyed that I still have to take pregnancy/STD tests before certain procedures, but this is because the medical field is a giant bureaucracy and it's "policy" that everyone has to do it. The doctor has no choice whether they believe you or not, so try your best not to take it personally. They may also be reading off a checklist or standardized questionnaire. 

 

If they are genuinely giving you attitude or being nosy, maybe the best thing is to shut the conversation down and hold firm about your boundaries. "I am not sexually active. I already answered that question. That test is not relevant to me." Your doctor is not your therapist, and it's none of their business if you are in a relationship. You can tell them you are asexual if you want to. I have never had anyone imply that I should be tested for some kind of sexual disfunction after saying this, and if they do, you can refuse. Remember that it's your body and you are in control. They can't do anything without your consent. You can always say no. You don't have to answer all of their questions either. You are the boss of your life, and they are performing a service for you and your well-being. If they insist on grilling you over your non-existent sex life, then they are wasting your time and money (and stressing you out in the process!)

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