Fictoromanitc/Fictosexual?

[Accio-Alexxx]

Hey, I'm Alex, and I'm in love with a fictional character.

I was directed here by a friend, so I can connect to more people who feel this way.

Does anyone else feel this way? I'd like to make friends with people like me, so please reply, i'd love to talk to you! 

Thanks y'all ❤️

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I'm not ficto myself (or at least exclusively, I do have a massive crush on KITT from the 2008 Knight Rider), but I know there are loads here. I'll tag @Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) cos I know they love being tagged in these things

[SithLord]

I don't use the terms myself, but being ficto- is what I'd be if I indeed fall under the grey spectrum. Not too sure since ficto- is so strange compared to normal attractions. I find them attractive and appealing, but do I actually desire any of them? I don't think so. If my favorite characters came to life I'd be above the moon, but I don't think I'd actually pursue anything with them. 

 

I am curious, however. When you say you're "in love" with a fictional character, how is this different from just "loving" the character? Like, for example, I love my sister, but I'm not in love with her. I love apples, but I'm not in love with apples. I know most objectums believe the objects they are attracted to have souls or beings or somehow can reciprocate the love/desire/attraction, but how does that work for fictional characters?

[Accio-Alexxx]

Thanks to both of you for the responses!

 Basically, the way I know I'm in love is because it feels so similar, if not more intense, than times I've been in love with people - Though I haven't felt anything for anyone since falling in love with him. From his first appearance I felt my stomach flip, and I looked into his character. I've only fallen further in love - and not just for appearances. His personality is so sweet to me, and he's so strong. He's overcome so much - abusive family, a lot of physical pain, fighting with his morals - and it inspires me so much. He's overcome so much, and his life has been so hard, but he's still standing and fighting for what he thinks is right, and i'm so proud of him. It's not just his looks, but I'll admit it's also the looks. He's a lot like me, in a way. We're both covered in scars - though his are far more visible. we've both got bad families. Whenever I see him, my breathing speeds up and I feel my heart thumping. My stomach flips, and my face goes pink. I got a limited edition Funko Pop of him and I haven't let it out of my sight. He's the only one I can ever imagine having feelings for. He's so perfect in so many ways, but I still know he has flaws. Everyone I've found attractive before, everyone I've loved, they suddenly don't make my stomach flip - in favour of him. I just love him, so, so much. I write poems about him. He's a piece of me. I wish, so, so badly that he existed. He's so special to me. I just don't know what to do. 

 

So, yeah... that's it.

[Artila]

I once wondered if I was ficto myself since I tend to massively obsess over fictional characters but at the end it's more of a fangirl thing like a teen hyping their popstars. And maybe lots of identification. I don't want to be WITH them I want to BE them.

 

But since I am in a fiction loving community I know quite some fictosexuals and fictoromantics myself. 

 

Maybe I am having some fictoromantic tendencies since sometimes when I am in an obsession phase I do feel something but it has never been as strong feelings as I can feel for the people next to me.

 

I feel a different kind of love towards my fictional crushes than I do towards my nonfictional crushes.

[iff]

Moved to The Grey Area 

 

Iff, 

Moderator, sexual partners, friends and allies 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

cos I know they love being tagged in these things  

haha thanks for that  I'm slightly drunk right now (and wearing a shirt that matches my beer, haha) so let's see how this goes!!

 

2 hours ago, Accio-Alexxx said:

Basically, the way I know I'm in love is because it feels so similar, if not more intense, than times I've been in love with people

That's what I feel too!! For me it's a much deeper and more intense feeling of love and attraction that what I can muster for 'real people',

 

2 hours ago, Accio-Alexxx said:

. I just don't know what to do. 

Ever since I was little I've had this inherent thing within me where I become powerfully attracted to fictional people. I have aphantasia (which means I am unable to 'see' images in my mind). Sadly that puts a huge separation between me and the person I love.. the 'lover' is what I've taken to calling them (there have been many). But still, I do this 'thing', where in my mind, somewhere where there's like, a spatial reasoning, a new person develops. Someone who the object of my desire would be drawn to. I am then able to 'insert' that new person into a kind of separate reality (where matter is more viscous), where the lover can meet them, and fall in love with them, within the context of the lover's own story. I experience the emotions (the pleasure, the pain, the euphoria etc) vicariously through the new person.. I FEEL what they feel while they interact with the lover. I don't know how else to explain it. It's always been something I am powerless to stop, and I have often had times in my life where I struggle to prevent it from taking up every spare moment that I have. Do you ever do something like that?

 

3 hours ago, Accio-Alexxx said:

So, yeah... that's it.

Do you ever feel like you just want to talk about that person 24/7 but you know no one would be interested enough?? .. but that doesn't stop you wanting to talk about them? I get that quite a lot and I know I'd bore the crap out of anyone if I started yabbering at them about whoever my current 'lover' is. Sigh.

 

3 hours ago, Sithgroundhog said:

I know most objectums believe the objects they are attracted to have souls or beings or somehow can reciprocate the love/desire/attraction, but how does that work for fictional characters?

I'll answer too (if you're interested to hear??). The fictional character actually exists in like.. another reality: a place made of the collective fabric of all human thoughts and emotions and creativity. They exist within the context of their own story, but like.. they're still 'real' - they're part of the fabric of collective human consciousness. Somehow, you become deeply emotionally drawn to them as an entity. As a being with thoughts and feelings and needs and they 'move'.. shift in a place that exists just beyond where you are able to reach. So you 'feel' out to them with your mind. And your emotions ache for them and need them. The feelings are so much stronger than anything it's possible to feel for a 'real' human, maybe because on that other realm they're closer to us than any 'real' person is able to be???? because 'real people' are separated from us by flesh and bone and the things that stop them from being able to be a part of our mind. So the fictional person becomes so real, more real than any meat and bone person is. It's the same (romantic) feelings one has for a 'meat' person, but the feelings seem to exist in a different place where they're all felt so much more strongly, somewhere deeper and closer to your soul. So that's how you know you're 'in love' with them and not just loving them. You become so deep in the love that you start to drown in it!!

 

 

Right now I'm getting drunk just so I can watch a movie with him in where he gets drunk. Sigh. It makes me feel closer to what he's feeling.

[Custard Cream]

Like @Anthracite_Impreza, I'm not exclusively fictoromantic, being married. I don't crush on other peoples creations, but I have a character I created in childhood I have crushed on for 40 years... I still create little mental storylines for him to be part of his world.

[Accio-Alexxx]

Ahh, so many responses ;o;

I'm glad there are people who understand me! It's better than being ridiculed and all, like normal, haha ^^;

51 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Do you ever feel like you just want to talk about that person 24/7 but you know no one would be interested enough?

Yeah!! I do!! It sucks ;0;

53 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Do you ever do something like that?

I don't, but that's super cool! I have ASD, so images are a lot clearer and detailed in my mind ^^

2 hours ago, Artila said:

at the end it's more of a fangirl thing like a teen hyping their popstars.

I know how this feels too - Other characters from my baby's franchise, along with other celebrities. It's stronger, more intimate. It's not an idolising thing, it's a desire to be able to cherish him. 

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

i'm starting to think i'm this way tbh. personally, i see it more as a level of escapism. i mean there are lots of characters i like for different reasons. 

 

saying that, i think fictional characters can often teach us a lot about what we like in a potential partner. this can go for both physical and personality traits. i know this might be a weird thing to do but write down the traits of the characters you like and see if you can see any common themes, then try finding someone with similar traits. 

[everywhere and nowhere]

1 hour ago, nutterwithasolderingiron said:

saying that, i think fictional characters can often teach us a lot about what we like in a potential partner. this can go for both physical and personality traits. i know this might be a weird thing to do but write down the traits of the characters you like and see if you can see any common themes, then try finding someone with similar traits. 

Yes, but for the more strictly fictosexual/fictoromantic people that's what fictional characters are there for: to avoid having to deal with a real partner. I wouldn't call myself fictosexual, because I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone, not even in my imagination. But I have third-person fantasies with a strong fictional aspect exactly to satisfy my libido without a partner - because I simply couldn't do it through partnered sex, such a thought is extremely frightening and repulsive to me.

[Artila]

On 1/25/2020 at 12:36 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

Yes, but for the more strictly fictosexual/fictoromantic people that's what fictional characters are there for: to avoid having to deal with a real partner. I wouldn't call myself fictosexual, because I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone, not even in my imagination. But I have third-person fantasies with a strong fictional aspect exactly to satisfy my libido without a partner - because I simply couldn't do it through partnered sex, such a thought is extremely frightening and repulsive to me.

idk but I know fictosexuals and fictoromantics who exclusively have intense feelings for their character and don't use them to "avoid having to deal with a real partner". I know some who were lamenting about their intense infatuation and actually are concerned if they've "gone crazy". So it sounds like something less conscious to me.

[Madao]

I don't use the label 'fictoromantic' but I think I fairly do experience attraction to fictional characters. While I find it extremely difficult to fall for a person in real life, I have fallen in love with many fictional characters in my life. It has always been that way ever since my childhood. They had always been by my side when no one ever was, and many of them even taught me things and made me grow as a person. I feel that I might take too long to talk about just each of them. They might be just people who exist on a screen or a page for people, but for me, they ate very much real. I don't think I am attracted to them just in a romantic sense because it feels too small of a word to explain my bond to them. Rather, it feels like a mixture of all feelings (except sexual ones of course). 

[WoodwindWhistler]

Yep I definitely identify as fictoromantic, /sexual, at least in online spaces where it’s more accepted. 

 

Thing is, my characters end up being so far astray from canon that they’re really more OCs than a character I fell in love with just from viewing them . . .

 

But the seed of the idea definitely burrowed its way into me, so it’s kinda like a Demi falling in love after starting a platonic or tentative relationship after meeting someone a few times, I guess? Because the sexual attraction doesn’t come in until I’ve spent chapters upon chapters getting to ‘know’ that character. 

[partial]

I'm so relieved to see topics centering around fictoromanticism alive and kicking even in this day and age. I've been out of the loop for years.

 

Anyway, congrats to you and the character you love! I'm happy you have each other.

 

I've been in love with a specific character for 5 years and I regard him as the love of my life, but my longest on-going fictoromantic endeavor is nearing a decade. Eheh.

 

I'd be down to chat with any fictoromantics in here, particularly those who want to talk outside of a fandom-oriented space!

[Memento-Mori]

Hello everybody, first I want to react to this interesting topic.
I won't define myself as fictoromantic and fictosexual only, because I can also be in love and be sexually attracted to real personns too.
It's very interesting to see many of you talking about their own feelings and give their thoughts.
There have been a few fictional characters I've been in love in love with (and still love them). It's been for now more than 25 years...  I never felt it like I can avoid real relatio ships. I consider it's a part of me, it's part of my life, like a continuity.
Someone here has said they exist in an other reality... Can you, please, tell us more ?
I have a belief in the afterlife after our death and I'm convincend there are some dimensions where fictional characters could exist and even us could be fictional characters in other reality.
How could it be possible to experiment a "spiritual" experience to get closer to them ? Meditation ? Relaxation ? Something else ? I would be curious to hear your thoughts, feel free to DM me and maybe sharing some ideas, and some avenue to help. I'm extremly happy to read forums like yours with such an open-mindedness.... Hope to read from you soon.

[KayleeK]

I've never heard of fictoromantic but I do relate as I have often had attractions to fictional characters. I thought many people did? I like fictional characters more then real life people really. Vampire characters are my particular favourites! 

[ErikPanic]

Interesting, I hadn't heard of this before either, but it's definitely relatable. I never really had crushes on famous people, but I absolutely had crushes on characters, and I think that kind of held me back from realizing I wasn't allo for a long time.

 

Not sure that I personally identify as fictoromantic/fictosexual even after learning about it, but I'm pretty sure I'll be in love with Willow Rosenberg until the day I die, so it's certainly not an alien concept to me!

[nonononono]

7 hours ago, ErikPanic said:

I never really had crushes on famous people, but I absolutely had crushes on characters, and I think that kind of held me back from realizing I wasn't allo for a long time.

i can relate a lot to that. the process of realizing that i wasn't allo took me a long time specially because of fictional characters, and i still cannot fully comprehend how i feel about them. thus, i don't feel confortable identifying as ficto-, but the concept is very familiar.

[Funqpop]

Hello! I wanted to join so I made an account. I'm Gray-Fictosexual (I'm also currently Fictoromantic but I'm Abroromantic so like, that could change at any time). I have stronger feelings towards fictional characters then "Real People" though it could be trauma based since I've had LOTS of bad relationships (Platonic and otherwise) but I've liked Fictional characters for a long time. My strongest crush on a fictional character is Milo from Monster Camp, though I also have a crush on Damien LaVey from the Monster Prom/Camp games so I was shocked when I suddenly had a bigger crush on Milo. I also have a slight crush on Zoe from Monster Prom but it's more romantic feelings then the other two. I think those are the only two I'm actually attracted to in a more then romantic way lol, all my other fictional crushes are romantic. I also have some fictional squishes.

[Memento-Mori]

I would like to know if, some of you who are in love with fictos, have succeed in reaching their character ? I mean, with hypnosis, meditation. If someone has succeeded in having a touch with their ficto, your experiences is expected. Feel free to DM me if you prefer !

[Saes]

On 1/23/2020 at 1:19 PM, PanFicto. said:

haha thanks for that  I'm slightly drunk right now (and wearing a shirt that matches my beer, haha) so let's see how this goes!!

 

That's what I feel too!! For me it's a much deeper and more intense feeling of love and attraction that what I can muster for 'real people',

 

Ever since I was little I've had this inherent thing within me where I become powerfully attracted to fictional people. I have aphantasia (which means I am unable to 'see' images in my mind). Sadly that puts a huge separation between me and the person I love.. the 'lover' is what I've taken to calling them (there have been many). But still, I do this 'thing', where in my mind, somewhere where there's like, a spatial reasoning, a new person develops. Someone who the object of my desire would be drawn to. I am then able to 'insert' that new person into a kind of separate reality (where matter is more viscous), where the lover can meet them, and fall in love with them, within the context of the lover's own story. I experience the emotions (the pleasure, the pain, the euphoria etc) vicariously through the new person.. I FEEL what they feel while they interact with the lover. I don't know how else to explain it. It's always been something I am powerless to stop, and I have often had times in my life where I struggle to prevent it from taking up every spare moment that I have. Do you ever do something like that?

 

Do you ever feel like you just want to talk about that person 24/7 but you know no one would be interested enough?? .. but that doesn't stop you wanting to talk about them? I get that quite a lot and I know I'd bore the crap out of anyone if I started yabbering at them about whoever my current 'lover' is. Sigh.

 

I'll answer too (if you're interested to hear??). The fictional character actually exists in like.. another reality: a place made of the collective fabric of all human thoughts and emotions and creativity. They exist within the context of their own story, but like.. they're still 'real' - they're part of the fabric of collective human consciousness. Somehow, you become deeply emotionally drawn to them as an entity. As a being with thoughts and feelings and needs and they 'move'.. shift in a place that exists just beyond where you are able to reach. So you 'feel' out to them with your mind. And your emotions ache for them and need them. The feelings are so much stronger than anything it's possible to feel for a 'real' human, maybe because on that other realm they're closer to us than any 'real' person is able to be???? because 'real people' are separated from us by flesh and bone and the things that stop them from being able to be a part of our mind. So the fictional person becomes so real, more real than any meat and bone person is. It's the same (romantic) feelings one has for a 'meat' person, but the feelings seem to exist in a different place where they're all felt so much more strongly, somewhere deeper and closer to your soul. So that's how you know you're 'in love' with them and not just loving them. You become so deep in the love that you start to drown in it!!

 

 

Right now I'm getting drunk just so I can watch a movie with him in where he gets drunk. Sigh. It makes me feel closer to what he's feeling.

Oh aphantasia! My sister has it too. We were casually discussing things when i realised she really does NOT see anything in her head. When people used to tell her to imagine or picture things she jsut thought its another way to say think

 When she dreams she doesnt actualy see anything happening ,just has the bague sense of a story going on but she doesnt dee the pocture in her head

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Saes said:

When she dreams she doesnt actualy see anything happening ,just has the bague sense of a story going on but she doesnt dee the pocture in her head

Mine is sooooooooo weird because when I dream, I can actually see the images!! Which leads me to wonder if I don't have 'full' aphantasia but the images are locked somewhere deep inside? I never see 'falling asleep' images, but in the deep sleep state I do have visual dreams. But yeah if someone asks me 'picture a blue square' or whatever I literally can see just the blackness behind my eyes. I try not to think about it these days because I become depressed quite quickly thinking of what I'm missing out on. I weirdly feel like I'd be much happier and more content in my life if I could actually see things inside my mind. It's like I'm missing half of reality Y_Y

[Guest]

On 3/8/2021 at 8:19 AM, Memento-Mori said:

I would like to know if, some of you who are in love with fictos, have succeed in reaching their character ? I mean, with hypnosis, meditation. If someone has succeeded in having a touch with their ficto, your experiences is expected. Feel free to DM me if you prefer !

It's hard to explain as I have aphantasia so it may not make sense. If I could see them, I would have reached them much more successfully, but I cannot. So this is what I have done ever since I can remember (from the age of 4 or 5) - I'll spoiler it as I don't want it to come in search engines for some weird reason

 

Spoiler

There is someone else who doesn't exist, who becomes a person that will attract the ficto character I am romantically attracted to. They go into the story and interact directly with the ficto character, the world, and the events unfolding around them. I go inside the new person and 'feel' what's happening to them vicariously, even though I cannot see it. It's like being blind but in the body of someone else who can see. So I dip into them and feel what they touch, and hear their conversations, and experience their emotions and stuff - I feel the ficto character, the touch of their skin, their hair, everything. It makes me sad because not being able to see the ficto character (or anything else in that place) makes it feel like I'm missing a huge part of the experience but I've never been able to stop doing it. It's an addiction I've had for what feels like forever. 

 

[SphynxNightmare]

Hey! Ficto here. This is actually the post that made me join, haha 😄

 

[Memento-Mori]

When I was 12, I fell in love with Maestro Forte, the court composer changed into a pipe organ in the midquel "Beauty and the Beast". I thought it wouldn't last as if this love was immediate and uncommon. You have to know that it's been a few time I talk about it, as I spend more than a decade thinking I was the only who was truly in love with a character. 
I'm almost 35 and this character is still in my heart. I don't know if I can go further in what that character brought to me, but you can have a clue in my tumblr here: https://mrs-forte.tumblr.com/

[Memento-Mori]

On 3/9/2021 at 9:52 AM, PanFicto. said:

It's hard to explain as I have aphantasia so it may not make sense. If I could see them, I would have reached them much more successfully, but I cannot. So this is what I have done ever since I can remember (from the age of 4 or 5) - I'll spoiler it as I don't want it to come in search engines for some weird reason

 

  Hide contents

There is someone else who doesn't exist, who becomes a person that will attract the ficto character I am romantically attracted to. They go into the story and interact directly with the ficto character, the world, and the events unfolding around them. I go inside the new person and 'feel' what's happening to them vicariously, even though I cannot see it. It's like being blind but in the body of someone else who can see. So I dip into them and feel what they touch, and hear their conversations, and experience their emotions and stuff - I feel the ficto character, the touch of their skin, their hair, everything. It makes me sad because not being able to see the ficto character (or anything else in that place) makes it feel like I'm missing a huge part of the experience but I've never been able to stop doing it. It's an addiction I've had for what feels like forever. 

 

I feel exactly the same; feeling as a pain not te be able to hold them in my arms. 
A pain that they are not incarnated in our world.
If I understood your posts, I feel the same concerning the fan fictions; I just can't picture them as I want them to be I am faithful to the original character. Picturing him differently would be creating an other character and it wouldn't be him anymore.

[Discoverasexuality]

On 1/23/2020 at 1:34 PM, Custard Cream said:

Like @Anthracite_Impreza, I'm not exclusively fictoromantic, being married. I don't crush on other peoples creations, but I have a character I created in childhood I have crushed on for 40 years... I still create little mental storylines for him to be part of his world.

So , how do you manage with the incrementing age of the character? 

[Kazuya18]

Hi. I wanted to join so I made an account. I'm so happy to see so many posts and feel your huge love to fictional characters.

 

I'm both fictoromantic and fixtosexual. When it comes to people in real life I'm grayaromantic and asexual.

 

I started to watch anime, read manga and novels since I was little, and I never stop it. Because of that, I feel fictional characters are very real. I know their appearance, the voice, what they experience and their personalities. Except we live in different places, I don't see them much different from us.

 

I love the characters so much. My heart is filled by my love to them. I'm happy when I see them and I don't want to stop knowing more things about them. I won't miss the chance to feel them, touch, hug or kiss them if they came into the reality (and I got their consent).

 

I want to be a part of their life and keep a good relationship with them, but I can't imagine I have a romantic relationship with any characters I love. I don't have the desire to do this either. Forming a romantic relationship in a monogamous way is totally not what I'll want to do.

 

The other reason I can't imagine that is because as how I know them, I don't think of the possibility they will like me back more than a friend. They either have other characters they like or seem to have no interest in romantic relationships.

 

Tbh when I think they like another characters, I even like to read fanart capturing they both as a couple. I love finding out fanart which I think it's totally same as how I know about the characters. Those fanart is my mental food, making me happy and mentally healthy. But even though I seem to lack the desire to be with them, it doesn't change the fact that I found them romantically and/or sexually attractive.

 

The attraction I feel on fictional characters is usually much stronger than I feel on real life people, and I often love the characters for years while the the attraction to real life people is much shorter.

 

And mostly, when it comes to real life people, what important for me is more like just the feeling of having a crush (I'd say, it's like I'll be happy when I found a new food I love, and there is one more good thing in my life).This is totally different from what I feel to fictional characters. When I have a crush on fictional characters, I treasure more the mental closeness toward them and the possibilities to know more things about the characters.

 

I also have some actors I like a lot. I feel some characters they act attractive, but the attraction is something like between platonic and romantic, not as strong as I feel to those fictional characters I love. But when it comes to the actors themselves, I only find their appearance attractive. I don't want to know more about them neither do I want to meet them in person or talk to them.

[BloodyBlood]

im allosexual alloromantic but meanwhile i most time experience sexual and romantic attraction toward fictional people,just wanted say this, have lovely day ^^