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Help! Curvy enby needs fashion advice...


Hui

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I am nonbinary, afab and sadly on the curvier side in terms of body type. The worst areas are my hips and butt which just look too big and feminine for my taste. Those two areas also trigger my dysphoria whenever I see them. I want an androgynous looking, rectangular body, but I just can't find any good tips anywhere on the internet on how to make the body look more rectangular through clothes without looking fat. No matter what I google, there's almost always results for tips on how to make the body look more curvy, which is the exact opposite of what I want. This site is my last hope to get tips from people who might share my experiences 😂

 

The only things I've found out about what suits me in particular and helps downplay my hip-area is wearing low or mid-waisted jeans instead of high-waisted ones, and wearing tops that aren't too long and loose, since those tend to draw attention to my curves and make me look fatter.

 

Do any of you have more fashion advice for curvier enbies who want to look more androgynous? Note that I only want to look androgynous in terms of body shape, I still like some feminine looking clothes like dresses or fancy blouses. 

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My spouse has started taking testosterone with resolving the "curves" being one of the primary motivations for doing so.  Probably not an option for everyone, but that's the only sort of input I've got.

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Hey Hui,

Fashion for me has always been what you feel comfortable and confident in, so that would be my first advice. Long sweaters and chunky sweaters are really in right now, and being winter it's the perfect time for sweaters. Try one that hangs to the bottom of your butt. That would accentuate wide shoulders and wide hips while hiding a curvier waist. The right sweater would make you look boxy but not chunky. A cool trench coat would do this too. A slightly bolder approach would be to focus on textures instead of shapes in your clothes. Leather and down jackets, puffy vests, velvet or suede. My last thought would be anything that has pockets in the belly area. Yes they look bulky, but people tend to assume the bulk is all from the pockets, plus they are functional.

 

I hope this helps. I admit I'm super feminine in my own tastes,  but I tried to pick more neutral looks. Good Luck!

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Thank you both for your replies! @AceOHearts, the problem is I don't want to look like I have wide shoulders either, I would rather compare the body I'd like to have with the one of a child, small shoulders, no waist, small hips and stuff like that. Due to this, I mostly stay away from chunky sweaters. They just make me look really fat and like I am "drowning" in them, since I am only 5 feet tall. My height in general really becomes a burden when looking for clothes, almost everything is either too tight or too long. 

 

@Philip027, taking testosterone is out of the question for me, since it's not possible to know beforehand how the body would change. Having smaller hips, a wider waist and a small chest would be the only "masculine" features I'd like to have, but taking testosterone could bring unwanted changes like masculine facial features or body hair.

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Guest xAveryx

On Youtube I saw this video which deals with pear shaped body types. It basicly said to focus on your top half like wearing dark jeans and wearing colorful interesting things on the top half. Also a few more tips. 

Don't know if it would help you but I thought it wouldn't hurt:) 

 

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Just Somebody

There's hip compression wear, go Google it.

 

There's advice on looking "retangular": http://ftmguide.rassaku.net/guide/index.htm

 

 

 

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That Ginger Kid

Baggy clothes have always been my go-to when I’m not wanting to present femininely. Some things are easier to hide than others, but my advice is baggy jeans or sweat pants and a hoodie. Running/compression shorts may help a little, too. Or, if you’re up for big changes, you could either try gaining or losing weight so your lower half seems more proportionate to the top half. 

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3 hours ago, Hui said:

Do any of you have more fashion advice for curvier enbies who want to look more androgynous? Note that I only want to look androgynous in terms of body shape, I still like some feminine looking clothes like dresses or fancy blouses. 

A few years ago I bought a pair of those shorts that come up to your waist and down to your knees. They're meant to make you look slimmer but I bought a size to small and they just squished all my parts in (my butt and hips). It was uncomfortable and made me look really flat. Could you try something like that?? Coupled with some low waisted jeans?

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Women’s pants are, IME, totally butt-hugging.

 

You might think, “they design for larger hips & butts so they would give women *more* space there right?”

 

Nope, not in my experience. (Perhaps it's part of systemic, culturally accepted sexualization of women. I don't know.) So if you're not trying men's pants, I think you should.

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DuranDuranfan
2 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

Women’s pants are, IME, totally butt-hugging.

 

You might think, “they design for larger hips & butts so they would give women *more* space there right?”

 

Nope, not in my experience. (Perhaps it's part of systemic, culturally accepted sexualization of women. I don't know.) So if you're not trying men's pants, I think you should.

This. Yeah, unless you go up a few sizes, any

brand, any leg cut, still accentuates the hip and butt area. I second the suggestion of switching to men’s jeans and pants. The deeper crotch section makes them super comfortable. As someone with sensory issues down there, this is necessary.
 

There’s a brand called DapperBoi and they look like they’ve got cool stuff. The jeans especially. I haven’t bought a pair yet, but I’m putting them on the list of future purchases. 
 

Androgynous Fox has nice button up tops that, while they do curve, they don’t accentuate. 


Kirrin Finch has nice chinos, button ups and other stuff, but a warning, they are pricey.

 

If you’re thinking of switching underwear, Tomboy X and Lucky Skivvies are great.

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Winter-Cattle

To the people suggesting men's pants - are you forgetting that @Hui is 5 foot/152 cm tall? From the way she has described her body, it sounds similar to the problem that I have. I have a very narrow waist with wider hips, meaning that even with women's pants, they are tight on the hips and have a huge gap above, needing the use of a belt for most pants. As men have straighter bodies, especially around the hips, I would assume that men's pants were out of the question? This is without mentioning how women's pants are always too long for me, a woman of a similar height, let alone men's pants.

 

I personally wear low cut short-length women's pants with tops that are neither baggy nor body-hugging, nor too long nor too short, and try to stand as straight as possible. For me at least, hiding my unfortunately curvy body is less about what pants I wear, and more about my posture and my choice of shirts.

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Guest xAveryx

I've been thinking about your problem and I dont think that low rise jeans are doing you a favour.. I would go for mid rise with small pockets on your ass and with unobtrusive stitches (bigger pockets get more attention). Maybe these straight leg (maybe boyfriend) jeans are something to try?

 

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Winter-Cattle
1 hour ago, xAveryx said:

I've been thinking about your problem and I dont think that low rise jeans are doing you a favour.. I would go for mid rise with small pockets on your ass and with unobtrusive stitches (bigger pockets get more attention). Maybe these straight leg (maybe boyfriend) jeans are something to try?

 

All my pants are straight or bootcut (but not to excess) legged, with flat or no pockets on the back of them (I don't use the back pockets anyway). For me personally, the higher the rise, the larger the gap becomes, and I personally find higher rise pants to be uncomfortable.

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DuranDuranfan

I don’t know their(Hui’s) hip measurements, but the leg length on men’s pants can be altered by a tailor. Cuffing them at the ends can be a temporary measure. I have the same problem(wide hips), and this works for me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

If not then there’s the brands I suggested above. They’re menswear inspired clothes tailored to fit a female body type without over-accentuating it.

 

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17 hours ago, Winter-Cattle said:

As men have straighter bodies, especially around the hips, I would assume that men's pants were out of the question? This is without mentioning how women's pants are always too long for me, a woman of a similar height, let alone men's pants.

Boy's pants, maybe?

 

As for hips, just try I guess? Some that rest on the hips rather than waist maybe

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4 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

Boy's pants, maybe?

I've found that the kids section can be quite good, teen sections even better (bc they're more likely to fit lol) but it'll depend on what size they go up to. You might be able to find all sorts of non-curve accentuating clothes if you manage to find a store with kids or teen sections that fit, and usually (or at least in my experience) the staff are totally accommodating no matter your age

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ExquisiteMystery

Sort of from a different angle, I work in a factory with a dress code. I have found that men's cargo pants, or what I would call pleated front, really cover hips and belly (go up enough sizes to fit when you sit). Combined with an untucked t-shirt or tunic style top, is very neutral. Because of your height, you may have to take up the legs a few inches.

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Luftschlosseule

Could you look for a store that sells work gear for handymen? Builders? They should have trousers that fit you but have different cut than those you find in fashion stores. Might be worth a try.

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If you want feminine feel with neutral shape, you can experiment with sheer layers. They come across "flowy" rather than baggy. You can also try shoulder pads and high necks - as a top heavy person, those are what I avoid so maybe they will work for you!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for all your suggestions! As for men's pants, I had the same thought as @Winter-Cattle, that they wouldn't fit me properly because I am really short, so I don't know. The thing is that I don't even really feel comfortable in loose pants unless they're short. My perfect way to dress would be fitted bottom and loose top, but the top shouldn't be too long either since it would only accentuate the butt and hip area (in case of thin fabrics, atleast). I actually got lucky in the last couple weeks. I lost some weight, mostly around the belly and hip area, which made my body look atleast a bit more rectangular. I also don't plan on gaining the weight back. 

 

My current observations:

-mid-waist jeans are the best option, for me atleast. Low-waist might also work for thinner people. High-waisted jeans are usually out of the question since they accentuate the hip and butt area too much

-looser tops are generally better than fitted, though I've seen some tighter ones work too, usually in black with a thicker fabric

-tops should be as long as they barely cover the butt, any longer and curves get accentuated, any shorter and they may accentuate the waist in case it is rather small

 

I am also kinda confused about my actual body type. By looking at it, I would categorize it as pear shaped, but according to multiple calculators online (which calculate according to your hip, bust and waist circumference), I actually have a rectangle body. It just doesn't really look like it at all.

 

Btw, I think the most tricky part about "dressing rectangular" is looking androgynous while not looking fat. I've personally never seen someone who could wear loose hoodies and sweatpants at once without looking bigger than they really are.

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If you can find pants that have the look you want but a big gap in the waist, take them to the tailor to be fixed; same thing goes for leg length, as was pointed out previously. Pants made for plus-size teens and boys might also be an option.

 

Most hoodies and sweatpants are made of fleece, which is bulky material; wearing clothing of thin material will add less volume, especially if they're just big enough to make the rest of your body as wide as your hips, and aren't swimming around you. And neither hoodies nor sweatpants are usually rectangular; they nip in at the bottom edge; if you want to look like a rectangle, shouldn't your clothes be rectangular?

 

The only way that you can have a rectangular look is for your hips to not be sticking out, so you can't avoid having wider tops and pant legs... and with your entire body the same width as the widest part of your hips, yes, you're going to look somewhat heavier. If you get some really good shapewear that reduces your hips, though, you can be a smaller rectangle. :-)

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