Lord Jade Cross Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 ... Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 That's common with many of us, I have a liking for Ukrainian ladies, I often don't realise they're Ukrainian until they speak, but I find myself attracted to them, we often follow patterns subconsciously throughout our lives Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Does it matter? You have a type; it might remain the same it might not. You might form new ones at some point, they might disappear entirely. No one can tell you, just see how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 2:32 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: Does it matter? You have a type; it might remain the same it might not. You might form new ones at some point, they might disappear entirely. No one can tell you, just see how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 13 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: I suppose it doesnt in the long run. Its just some rambling that my head comes up with because it cant just let something be without disecting it and putting it into chopped order I'll let you in on a secret: you can't logic attraction. Either you're into it or you're not, with no obvious rhyme or reason. Yeah there's usually a pattern, but there's almost always exceptions you just can't fathom. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 2:52 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: I'll let you in on a secret: you can't logic attraction. Either you're into it or you're not, with no obvious rhyme or reason. Yeah there's usually a pattern, but there's almost always exceptions you just can't fathom. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 30 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: Im usually rather good at spotting consistencies (or inconsistencies if it were the case) in things. Its almost something instictive in me; so it sort tends to get to me if I cant make sense of something, especially if it leaves me with questions I have to admit I am the same. I know how I am usually but when I think about ... 'my type' for asthetic attraction I have no idea what the reason is for it and it just annoys me and I dont like not understanding that part of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 3:35 PM, GatsbyGirl said: I have to admit I am the same. I know how I am usually but when I think about ... 'my type' for asthetic attraction I have no idea what the reason is for it and it just annoys me and I dont like not understanding that part of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 1 minute ago, Jade Cross said: This. Theres just something about not knowing/not understanding that just drives me up the wall. Like I can connect why I am like this or why I do this. What makes me like this color, what makes me hate this food. But when it comes to this topic I am like "Why in hells name do I like this look or type???" and there is no logic or answer and it makes me want to scream. Like what makes me like this part of a person, what makes me think this is pleasing like whyyyyyyy. What brought these likes to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 3:43 PM, GatsbyGirl said: Like I can connect why I am like this or why I do this. What makes me like this color, what makes me hate this food. But when it comes to this topic I am like "Why in hells name do I like this look or type???" and there is no logic or answer and it makes me want to scream. Like what makes me like this part of a person, what makes me think this is pleasing like whyyyyyyy. What brought these likes to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 29 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: Funnily enough, and at the suggestion of an aquaintence of mine, biology was suspected to be a possible reason. I didnt mentioned it before but 2 of the 3 women (the last one I wasnt around long enough to know for sure) have given birth and supposedly, that chemical change in their bodies can be linked to attracting certain kind of individuals who are succeptible to the the composition (which might explain the redheads scent). Of course this could not be tested, or at least not without it violating some serious ethics. But it was something that I spent some time looking into. Biologically speaking, it was said that fatter women, at least in the past, where deemed as more fertile so it would have made sense for them to gain more popularity from an evolutionary standpoint. But again, nothing could be proven or disproven. This is quite an interesting view on it. I know that some people tend to like a person just because of their smell. But I never thought to look a bit more deeper into it. Now I really am curious beyond belief. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 15 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: succeptible to the the composition (which might explain the redheads scent). You sure DO try hard to sort it out propperly. I know the feeling of wanting to dissect everything into tiny details and seeing patterns in everything. I've been on and off of internetdating (more internet than dating actually) and was thinking the other day, what it is in a persons look that keeps my interest. Some profile pictures can look adequately good to me, I wouldn't find them cute but I'm sure many others would. Some profile pictures look sort of gorgeous and I guess some people would drool, but I will get almost a bit repulsed, finding them yack... And then there are those faces that instantly make me feel connected. I am trying the assumption that it has to do with the amount of plain as opposed to curved surfaces, I seem to like it better when the bones define the facial traces, not the muscels or subcutan fat. (nothing to do with thin/fat). And an oval shaped face/head seems more connecting with me than a round one. But besides trying to find out what look I am attracted to, the thing I notice is that it is not purely aesthetic attraction. It seems like the 'right' kind of face triggers some feeling of connection, some intuitive assumption that the person thinks and feels the same way I do (which clearly not always is right according to their profile text). Then the next question is, is this kind of information even relevant? Obviously, my feelings are bullshit in terms of proving right, but the same amount of matching/non-matching profile texts does probably derive from those faces I don't feel connected to. I thought many times that I and my ex did not really look like a good match face-wise. I'm not intirely sure what to make of it. Like, should I trust a gut feeling that 'the right one' for me eventually can only be someone whose face I feel connected to? Since I'm not looking for 'the right one' or even for 'anyone' anymore/right now, it doesn't really matter though.... Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 7 minutes ago, GatsbyGirl said: This is quite an interesting view on it. I know that some people tend to like a person just because of their smell. But I never thought to look a bit more deeper into it. Now I really am curious beyond belief. I've heard that it's good if you stand the smell of your partner. If you are not repulsed when your partner is all sweaty, then you make a good couple, and hence it's a good thing early on in a relationship or even before, to try and meet after not having taken a shower for a couple of days. I really don't know how much truth there is in it. But German has a collocation "I can't [stand to] smell this person" or "They can't smell eachother very well.", meaning that two people don't get along well with eachother (need not be partners of any kind, can be collegues, neighbours or whatever). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 6 minutes ago, thyristor said: I've heard that it's good if you stand the smell of your partner. If you are not repulsed when your partner is all sweaty, then you make a good couple, and hence it's a good thing early on in a relationship or even before, to try and meet after not having taken a shower for a couple of days. I really don't know how much truth there is in it. But German has a collocation "I can't [stand to] smell this person" or "They can't smell eachother very well.", meaning that two people don't get along well with eachother (need not be partners of any kind, can be collegues, neighbours or whatever). I guess I can understand where its coming from. I mean I cant imagine being with somebody who reeks to me. Ive never met anyone who I thought smelt at least decent so I guess thats why I never thought deeper into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 As I said recently, why am I only attracted to certain machines? There's no biological reason to it, clearly, but it's the most natural thing in the world to me. We like who we like, that's all we can say. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 22 minutes ago, thyristor said: Like, should I trust a gut feeling that 'the right one' for me eventually can only be someone whose face I feel connected to? Since I'm not looking for 'the right one' or even for 'anyone' anymore/right now, it doesn't really matter though.... This here is the scariest thing for me. Like is the one who completes me as being on the same wave length or is it the one who settles me with the aesthetic attraction. Like I sit here and I am like I dont know how to live with myself if I like them cause I think their pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Just now, GatsbyGirl said: This here is the scariest thing for me. Like is the one who completes me as being on the same wave length or is it the one who settles me with the aesthetic attraction. Like I sit here and I am like I dont know how to live with myself if I like them cause I think their pretty. I don't know how to live with myself cos I failed to love the one person who loved me beyond everything and proved himself more than worthy so many times, and I failed because I am not aestetically attracted to him! 🙈 At least I'm convinced that that was among the top two reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 9 minutes ago, thyristor said: I don't know how to live with myself cos I failed to love the one person who loved me beyond everything and proved himself more than worthy so many times, and I failed because I am not aestetically attracted to him! 🙈 At least I'm convinced that that was among the top two reasons. My biggest fear right here. Idk how I would cope having that decision to make. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 6 minutes ago, GatsbyGirl said: My biggest fear right here. Idk how I would cope having that decision to make. I couldn't do it for eight and a half years!! I tried introducing the topic by suggesting that we don't really fit together, but he never caught on and I couldn't persist. When he finally found another girl, I was so relieved that I could push him into that relationship to be able to let ours come to an end... all because of a slightly retracted chin. OMG am I really confessing this??!? Tbh, there were other things that didn't work out, but I've always felt that if I only had had my crush on him for a while longer or if I had been physically attracted to him, I would have been content. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 There isn't a patter of aesthetics for me, nothing beyond 'looking attractive' to me, between both/all sexes/genders, I haven't experienced this in years since sometime before settling with the BF. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 4:23 PM, GatsbyGirl said: This is quite an interesting view on it. I know that some people tend to like a person just because of their smell. But I never thought to look a bit more deeper into it. Now I really am curious beyond belief. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 6 hours ago, thyristor said: I couldn't do it for eight and a half years!! I tried introducing the topic by suggesting that we don't really fit together, but he never caught on and I couldn't persist. When he finally found another girl, I was so relieved that I could push him into that relationship to be able to let ours come to an end... all because of a slightly retracted chin. OMG am I really confessing this??!? In all honesty I would probably end up doing the same if that happened. Scary to think that relationship wont work out cause I cant find them appealing even though their personality is amazing. Sighhhhhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 2 hours ago, Jade Cross said: I could only describe her smell as intoxicating (that sounds so wrong even after all this time), which is probably why, contrary to the usual reaction of avoiding women, the responsr never flared up. I found an article last night and it listed a few biological things people can be attracted to and there were things like smell, voice, taste, fertility, hormones and a few more I cannot think of now and it felt intense that any of the factors could make someone like you for no reason other then the attraction to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 On 1/23/2020 at 12:33 AM, GatsbyGirl said: I found an article last night and it listed a few biological things people can be attracted to and there were things like smell, voice, taste, fertility, hormones and a few more I cannot think of now and it felt intense that any of the factors could make someone like you for no reason other then the attraction to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 2 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: Interesting. I never considered some of these. https://www.insider.com/biological-reasons-youre-attracted-to-someone-2018-10#2-diet-2 Its not much but is interesting to consider Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 On 1/23/2020 at 12:57 AM, GatsbyGirl said: https://www.insider.com/biological-reasons-youre-attracted-to-someone-2018-10#2-diet-2 Its not much but is interesting to consider Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 4:45 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: As I said recently, why am I only attracted to certain machines? There's no biological reason to it, clearly, but it's the most natural thing in the world to me. We like who we like, that's all we can say. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 15 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: be it compulsion, obsession or just being too stubborn for my own good sometimes, I feel like I need to have that explanation present When I can't find an answer, or the sorting out goes on for long enough without any logical end in sight, the journey might be upgraded to be the goal. Like sorting legos (which was the worst thing I could do to my kids, cos now they can't just build something, they have to know MY logic to be able to find the parts and it takes forever to gather them). You can't sort them all since there are parts that are so special, they don't belong in any logic group with any others, and there are also parts where you forever wonder whether you should sort them according to the one or the other one of their properties. But I have endulged in sorting things, splitting them up into different properties, comparing them to other parts' properties. Feeling like I've exercised my brain. But, yeah, it can kind of leave a mess and sometimes you have to be strong and let go... Like ending a song with a seventh-chord. Only satisfying if you appreciate the art. Blabla... I could dissect these phenomena forever ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 29 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: I need to have that explanation And maybe not all things are finite state automata, there is no single answer, things are in a constant movement through different states. So, the goal must be 'understanding how it works', not 'finding x in a certain equation'. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 On 1/23/2020 at 7:53 AM, thyristor said: And maybe not all things are finite state automata, there is no single answer, things are in a constant movement through different states. So, the goal must be 'understanding how it works', not 'finding x in a certain equation'. Link to post Share on other sites
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