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Demisexual and the ace ring


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Hey asexuals!

I have a question for y'all. I'm demisexual, and I would like to wear an ace ring (black ring on middle finger) partly for showing support (one of my best friends and my girlfriend are both ace) but mostly for myself, to embrace myself and this label that I've found to describe my sexuality. Though I'm not "completely ace" and just wanted to check if that's like okay and acceptable... thanks for sharing your opinions on this!

Lots of love, 

Areli

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Haha, I second what @KrysLost so effortlessly said!

 

There's no one right way or reason to wear the ace ring, and for myself and many others it's more a symbol of belonging to our community than for any visibility/awareness reasons. It certainly isn't limited to only one expression of asexuality, so go for it! 

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1 hour ago, Jarle said:

There's no one right way or reason to wear the ace ring, and for myself and many others it's more a symbol of belonging to our community than for any visibility/awareness reasons. It certainly isn't limited to only one expression of asexuality, so go for it! 

I just get super worried about the whole swinger scene because a black ring is also their 'indicator' to other swingers that they're willing to swap partners. It's like a little sign they have to recognise other swingers!! I think theirs is on the other hand, but it's still way too close for comfort for me!! And heck I don't even identify as ace anymore, I'm just an ally more than anything. But still.. the awkwadness of having to explain that no, I'm not up for a gang-bang.. I don't actually want any sex and that's why I have this black ring on my finger..  haha!! I guess that's just my extreme social anxiety talking though :P

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15 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

But still.. the awkwadness of having to explain that no, I'm not up for a gang-bang.. I don't actually want any sex and that's why I have this black ring on my finger..  haha!! I guess that's just my extreme social anxiety talking though :P

Maybe you could push that awkwardness back on them though? Like you're worried they'll mistake the ring to mean swinger, but what if you make them worried the rings for other people means asexual? Now they'll also be worried people may misunderstand their own rings.

 

But that's unlikely. I find most people coming up and asking me about rings unlikely, unless it was clearly an engagement ring or super fancy or something. 

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@Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) My understanding is that there's a general consensus among the swinger community to wear a black ring on any finger BUT the right middle finger, but I think it's fair to say people within that community would be just as cautious making assumptions based on jewellery as we would be. I'm yet to have anyone comment on my ring outside of an ace meet-up, and I've worked in hospitality for most of the past few years, interacting with thousands of people in that time. 

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Part of having extreme anxiety like I do is that you think about every possibility that could happen, then obsess over every different outcome. I totally get that it's not rational but it's unfortunately not something I can escape!! That's why I've never been able to wear the black ring even when I was 100% sure I was ace and even have a black version of the One Ring from LOTR.. which is just so damned cool!!! But I'm too scared to wear it at all outside of the house. Yay anxiety and paranoia :P

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so...I guess if you have crippling anxiety about wearing something, don't? but otherwise there is no asexuality police that will arrest you for wearing jewelery wrong? and the swinger police aren't going to care actually either? 

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How many people actually wear the ace ring??? Is any black ring fine as long as it's on your right hand, middle finger? I want to get one, not so much so other aces can recognize me (though that would be a perk), but for when I'm feeling down to remind myself there's this whole community!

But I think anyone can wear one as a way of showing support. I'm not really sure since I only found out about them today, but I wouldn't care if non-ace spectrum people were wearing them!

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22 minutes ago, AllieCat said:

How many people actually wear the ace ring??? Is any black ring fine as long as it's on your right hand, middle finger? I want to get one, not so much so other aces can recognize me (though that would be a perk), but for when I'm feeling down to remind myself there's this whole community!

That is why I wear mine. I mean, it'd be cool to run across someone, but it feels good to wear.

 

There aren't many rules about the ring. Pretty much anything black on that finger will do. People have their own styles and accent colors and stuff.

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2 minutes ago, Zagadka said:

That is why I wear mine. I mean, it'd be cool to run across someone, but it feels good to wear.

 

There aren't many rules about the ring. Pretty much anything black on that finger will do. People have their own styles and accent colors and stuff.

Thanks! I think I'll go look for one tomorrow :)  Or at least get my finger sized and then maybe I can get one off amazon. 

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