Not sure if I might be aromantic?

[Marshmally]

Hello, I'm new here, so please excuse me if I posted this on the wrong forum. 

I'm 100% I'm asexual, but I've recently (and by that I mean for half a year now) started to wonder if I might be aromantic as well. I've read a bit about different kind of attractions and also platonic relationships, but I still have a hard time distinguishing what is a romantic attraction and what isn't. I've never dated anyone, but I've been asked out a few times, all of which left me traumatised - i'm not kidding, I was VERY uncomfortable when the guys asked me out, we were friends but those were clearly date proposals. When once guy asked me to be his gf, I literally run away and stopped talking to him. Sorry if it sounds kind of stupid. I can't imagine kissing anyone and even hugging makes me uncomfortable (even between friends). But in the same time I wish to have someone special, someone to have a deep connection with, but I don't think it like on the typical relationship stuff level, but more like intellectual, common interests we could talk about for hours, similar hobbies...like a friend but deeper? I fear loneliness plus I have a lot of pressure around me (I'm 18 at high school), so I kinda fear and have trouble accepting that I might be aro

Sorry if it doesn't make much sense (or maybe it does lol) please tell me what you think 

[laLibby]

Honestly there is no real line between platonic and romantic attraction. It's different for each person. Also I think I am incapable on writing briefly about aromantacism but I will try because otherwise I'll be typing for an hour. I also get very uncomfortable and anxious when someone is into me romantically (esPECIALLy sexually). But yeah it sounds like you'd be interested in a QPR. That's all I would want in a relationship. I'm still confused about what exactly my romantic orientation is, so for now I've just slapped the ol' Gray onto aromantic. And I've known I'm on the aro spectrum since I was 15 , so 5 years ago. I hope your journey of self-discovery doesn't cause you distress, I know how hard it is to feel that way in high school. You are not alone, even though it might feel that way sometimes. Let me know if I can help at all! 💜

[CharCharChar]

I'm 27 and I'm still iffy on my romantic identity. Yesterday I used the word a?demi?pan?homo-romantic. It's okay to not know. It's okay to pick a label and change it later. It's okay to not use labels. I was reluctant to identify as aro because the term feels heartless and I'm Hufflepuff, but being aro-spec hasn't prevented me from having close friendships. 

In high school I gave in to peer pressure to date. I wish I hadn't. I was indifferent, but he was very upset when the relationship failed. I fell into a pattern of agreeing to date male friends because I don't want to hurt their feelings / I felt like their orientations were more valid than mine --- and while I find it nice to be in a relationship - to have a person I'm close to. They either ended because we weren't "connecting" or we're too "comfortable" (why is that a bad thing?) or they seemed emotionally devastated and I blamed myself for letting them fall in love with me when I couldn't reciprocate on the same level. 

If you choose to date, I hope you find someone who understands the aro-ace spectrum, who will hear you out about what you want from a relationship and how you identify and what that means to you, who won't try to change you or convince you you're something you're not. (I worry I'm coming off as being cynical and implying such a person doesn't exist. I believe they do exist, but you'll probably need to help them get to that level of understanding/acceptance.)

If you choose not to date until (if ever) you want to, then you're amazing. I'm so proud of you for being true to yourself. Close platonic relationships are out there and you can find them.

 

[CharCharChar]

I learned the word "WTFromantic" aka "quoiromantic" and I feel really good about it. I have this calming sense of "I don't know. I may never know. But other people feel this way too so I feel less unsettled about it."