Bigeye Thresher Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 I've recently come to the conclusion that I think I'm on the spectrum, like big big recently, and I already feel like I'm not a true ace? I know there's no "true ace" and everyone is valid in their sexuality, but I already feel like an alien. I like the idea and fantasy of having sex. Thinking someone is attractive and wanting to have sex w them? Epic. Cool. Dope. Actually touching and doing that w someone? Absolutely not. I'm not about it. I don't like the idea of someone also having sexual feelings towards me and wanting to do those kind of things. It immediately steers me away, even if I feel the same way towards them. I can't seem to separate my feelings from my sexuality, if that makes sense? I don't know, I'm all very new to this and are 99% most likely overthinking a question that has a simple answer. I'm glad I feel comfortable enough to share, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Bigeye Thresher Posted January 19, 2020 Author Share Posted January 19, 2020 1 minute ago, CBC said: I think AVEN is dedicated to overthinking sexuality sometimes. Cheers, I'll drink to that. Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 1 minute ago, CBC said: I think AVEN is dedicated to overthinking sexuality sometimes. Like for example, the sexual attraction debate. It only makes sense to overcomplicate that in the academic sense of view, but generic no. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Prefer to have sex in your life? Sexual Prefer not to have sex in your life? Asexual Too complicated to fit either? Grey-sexual Simples. Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 1 hour ago, CBC said: Right on. I feel like drinking for so many various reasons right now, most of them negative... a celebratory one doesn't hurt. Bingo. I know nowhere else it's discussed ad nauseam like it is here. I understand why, but Christ Almighty sometimes... I looked up academic sources on defining sexuality, it's almost AVEN, but with a few key differences and nuances. Basically, more formal version that aligns with want sex. However, I just don't get why view sexuality in an academic sense here. Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Or never experienced it before. As a former sexual, all I can tell you is that it is instinctual and basically want to have sex with another person. That's all there is to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Bigeye Thresher said: I've recently come to the conclusion that I think I'm on the spectrum, like big big recently, and I already feel like I'm not a true ace? I know there's no "true ace" and everyone is valid in their sexuality, but I already feel like an alien. I like the idea and fantasy of having sex. Thinking someone is attractive and wanting to have sex w them? Epic. Cool. Dope. Actually touching and doing that w someone? Absolutely not. I'm not about it. I don't like the idea of someone also having sexual feelings towards me and wanting to do those kind of things. It immediately steers me away, even if I feel the same way towards them. I can't seem to separate my feelings from my sexuality, if that makes sense? I don't know, I'm all very new to this and are 99% most likely overthinking a question that has a simple answer. I'm glad I feel comfortable enough to share, though. It took me a long me to determine I'm asexual because I have an imagination and like to integrate sexuality into storytelling. But that's just entertainment; every time I've had sex or been in sexual situations, it's been wholly unthrilling and I don't feel any lack of fulfilment from not having any sex. I have decided I don't have to qualify myself as not a "true asexual" because asexual is a label that fits how my sexual orientation concerns others (which is to say it doesn't). So don't worry if you have an imagination or interest in stories. Use what words communicate what might concern other people. In some environments (like AVEN) you might benefit from specific words under the community understands, but in most interaction I wouldn't stress about what other people might think about your label being different from what goes on in your imagination. Imaginative people cover a lot of things in their inner world that don't reflect them in the shared reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Bigeye Thresher Posted January 19, 2020 Author Share Posted January 19, 2020 5 minutes ago, Snao Cone said: It took me a long me to determine I'm asexual because I have an imagination and like to integrate sexuality into storytelling. But that's just entertainment; every time I've had sex or been in sexual situations, it's been wholly unthrilling and I don't feel any lack of fulfilment from not having any sex. I have decided I don't have to qualify myself as not a "true asexual" because asexual is a label that fits how my sexual orientation concerns others (which is to say it doesn't). So don't worry if you have an imagination or interest in stories. Use what words communicate what might concern other people. In some environments (like AVEN) you might benefit from specific words under the community understands, but in most interaction I wouldn't stress about what other people might think about your label being different from what goes on in your imagination. Imaginative people cover a lot of things in their inner world that don't reflect them in the shared reality. That's cleared quite a bit for me, thank you. Was just overall confused w myself bc I've never really wanted to have sex, but I thought I did bc the idea or fantasy of it never turned me off. I feel like I seemed to force myself that I do want it bc why would I not? That or that I haven't found the right person yet. But still, thank you for sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
what the face Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 22 hours ago, CBC said: 22 hours ago, Bigeye Thresher said: 99% most likely overthinking a question that has a simple answer 20 hours ago, Snao Cone said: Imaginative people cover a lot of things in their inner world I believe we who exist in the current times, the anthropocene (as you may accept this theme) over think most everything. We over-rely on this one function thinking, thereby over-looking and under-developing our other functions like sensation and feeling and intuition. Imagination even. We leave blind spots. We may be missing a lot. Of course we can think about romance, love and sex, but these themes seem to spring from our less developed functions. As we explore and discover our own inner worlds/functions we can hope to open better our eyes and miss a bit less? Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 7 hours ago, what the face said: I believe we who exist in the current times, the anthropocene (as you may accept this theme) over think most everything. We over-rely on this one function thinking, thereby over-looking and under-developing our other functions like sensation and feeling and intuition. Imagination even. We leave blind spots. We may be missing a lot. Of course we can think about romance, love and sex, but these themes seem to spring from our less developed functions. As we explore and discover our own inner worlds/functions we can hope to open better our eyes and miss a bit less? What does this have to do with whether not a person might be asexual? Link to post Share on other sites
what the face Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 As your post and this topic (and AVEN) questions. Overthinking asexuality, hell overthinking anything can take us away from our other vital capabilities/functions like feeling, sensing, imagination and intuition. I would suggest these other, often underused human capabilities be developed and applied to where we might more completely be able to answer your/our questions. Like Asexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
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