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What's the word for having sexual attraction but no interest in sex


Ham and cheese

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How do you know it's sexual attraction if you have no interest in sex?

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everywhere and nowhere
32 minutes ago, CBC said:

Sex-averse sexual? Anxious sexual? Uncomfortable sexual? Celibate sexual? A sexual person who just doesn't actually feel like having sex for literally any other reason? Dunno. How are you defining sexual attraction?

I consider myself to experience sexual attraction without desire - with active aversion to the idea of ever having sex - and I call it "effectively asexual".

"Sex-averse sexuals" are those who feel that "well, actually sex is kinda icky...". For those in which aversion fully eliminates any motivation to seek sex, "effectively asexual" is absolutely applicable.

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54 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

How do you know it's sexual attraction if you have no interest in sex?

That’s a very good point, @Philip027.

 

Take me, for example, I know I experience aesthetic attraction and, when I was younger, before I realised I was asexual, I always assumed it was sexual attraction, but it wasn’t.

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1 hour ago, Ham and cheese said:

I'm looking for a word that describes a sexual attraction but no interest in sex. Demisexual or gray ace doesn't seem to be or feel right 

Hi there. Could you explain your situation a bit further??

 

Sexual attraction (at the most basic level) is a draw to connect sexually with others. It's not merely finding others 'hot' or whatever, because many aces experience that!. It's that draw to actually have sexual intimacy with another person (for pleasure) which can be triggered by all kinds of different things, that actually makes it sexual attraction

 

If you're merely finding people 'hot' or 'sexy' but don't actually have any desire to connect on a sexual level with them, that could well just be asexual. If you're getting turned on masturbating as a direct result of how hot you find them, but still wouldn't actually want sex with them because you have no inherent desire to, that would kind of fall under the grey area. 

 

:)

 

 

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banana monkey
On 1/17/2020 at 10:33 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

I consider myself to experience sexual attraction without desire 

That doesnt make sense to me given that the definition of sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with another person. I do however understand that someone can have the desire to have sex with someone but not actually have sex because they are averse or repulsed by the physical act of sex. Actually, looking at that written down its seems contradictory but I know it happens. (sex repulsed sexuals are rare but exist- sometimes due to trauma or other reasons)

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everywhere and nowhere

If it was so, than sexual attraction = sexual desire and why do we need two terms? I define sexual attraction otherwise - it's about someone's qualities (such as personality, apperance, attitude...) eliciting a sexual response. For me it's about a sexual response (which can be limited to arousal, in my case it's expressed through third-person fantasies), not sexual desire. I never desire sex. I cannot desire something as terrifying as sex. But I can have a sexual response.

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everywhere and nowhere
10 hours ago, groovygrievy said:

I have heard the term sex indifferent http://wiki.asexuality.org/Indifferent, is this you?

Am I the one asked?

Answer: definitely not. I'm actively sex-averse, the idea of personally having sex feels intensely frightening to me. I feel psychologically incapable of having sex. But I don't regret it, wouldn't want to become capable of enduring sex, so I consider myself effectively asexual and non-pathologically sex-averse (because I don't experience distress due to my sex aversion and would never want to change it).

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On 1/19/2020 at 11:18 PM, everywhere and nowhere said:

If it was so, than sexual attraction = sexual desire and why do we need two terms? I define sexual attraction otherwise - it's about someone's qualities (such as personality, apperance, attitude...) eliciting a sexual response. For me it's about a sexual response (which can be limited to arousal, in my case it's expressed through third-person fantasies), not sexual desire. I never desire sex. I cannot desire something as terrifying as sex. But I can have a sexual response.

We need two terms because sexual attraction is directed at a specific person, but sexual desire is not necessarily directed at anyone in particular.

Sexual attraction can be defined as directed sexual desire.

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