Ham and cheese Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I'm looking for a word that describes a sexual attraction but no interest in sex. Demisexual or gray ace doesn't seem to be or feel right Quote Link to post Share on other sites
letusdeleteouraccounts Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 That depends on how you’re personally defining sexual attraction. Can you go more into detail? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Have you looked at hyposexuality to see if it fits? https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/16/what-is-hyposexuality-and-how-does-it-affect-you-7534915/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 How do you know it's sexual attraction if you have no interest in sex? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flacomedicen Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Look to this post, maybe it could help you: https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/167521-asexualitylow-libido-so-not-the-same-thing/?do=findComment&comment=1062700130 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 19 minutes ago, Ham and cheese said: I'm looking for a word that describes a sexual attraction but no interest in sex... Hmm...do you mean "celibacy"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 A celibate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 32 minutes ago, CBC said: Sex-averse sexual? Anxious sexual? Uncomfortable sexual? Celibate sexual? A sexual person who just doesn't actually feel like having sex for literally any other reason? Dunno. How are you defining sexual attraction? I consider myself to experience sexual attraction without desire - with active aversion to the idea of ever having sex - and I call it "effectively asexual". "Sex-averse sexuals" are those who feel that "well, actually sex is kinda icky...". For those in which aversion fully eliminates any motivation to seek sex, "effectively asexual" is absolutely applicable. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sh1965 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 54 minutes ago, Philip027 said: How do you know it's sexual attraction if you have no interest in sex? That’s a very good point, @Philip027. Take me, for example, I know I experience aesthetic attraction and, when I was younger, before I realised I was asexual, I always assumed it was sexual attraction, but it wasn’t. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Ham and cheese said: I'm looking for a word that describes a sexual attraction but no interest in sex. Demisexual or gray ace doesn't seem to be or feel right Hi there. Could you explain your situation a bit further?? Sexual attraction (at the most basic level) is a draw to connect sexually with others. It's not merely finding others 'hot' or whatever, because many aces experience that!. It's that draw to actually have sexual intimacy with another person (for pleasure) which can be triggered by all kinds of different things, that actually makes it sexual attraction. If you're merely finding people 'hot' or 'sexy' but don't actually have any desire to connect on a sexual level with them, that could well just be asexual. If you're getting turned on masturbating as a direct result of how hot you find them, but still wouldn't actually want sex with them because you have no inherent desire to, that would kind of fall under the grey area. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 On 1/17/2020 at 10:33 PM, Nowhere Girl said: I consider myself to experience sexual attraction without desire That doesnt make sense to me given that the definition of sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with another person. I do however understand that someone can have the desire to have sex with someone but not actually have sex because they are averse or repulsed by the physical act of sex. Actually, looking at that written down its seems contradictory but I know it happens. (sex repulsed sexuals are rare but exist- sometimes due to trauma or other reasons) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 If it was so, than sexual attraction = sexual desire and why do we need two terms? I define sexual attraction otherwise - it's about someone's qualities (such as personality, apperance, attitude...) eliciting a sexual response. For me it's about a sexual response (which can be limited to arousal, in my case it's expressed through third-person fantasies), not sexual desire. I never desire sex. I cannot desire something as terrifying as sex. But I can have a sexual response. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
groovygrievy Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 I have heard the term sex indifferent http://wiki.asexuality.org/Indifferent, is this you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 10 hours ago, groovygrievy said: I have heard the term sex indifferent http://wiki.asexuality.org/Indifferent, is this you? Am I the one asked? Answer: definitely not. I'm actively sex-averse, the idea of personally having sex feels intensely frightening to me. I feel psychologically incapable of having sex. But I don't regret it, wouldn't want to become capable of enduring sex, so I consider myself effectively asexual and non-pathologically sex-averse (because I don't experience distress due to my sex aversion and would never want to change it). 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HelenaAVEN Posted August 19, 2023 Share Posted August 19, 2023 On 1/19/2020 at 11:18 PM, everywhere and nowhere said: If it was so, than sexual attraction = sexual desire and why do we need two terms? I define sexual attraction otherwise - it's about someone's qualities (such as personality, apperance, attitude...) eliciting a sexual response. For me it's about a sexual response (which can be limited to arousal, in my case it's expressed through third-person fantasies), not sexual desire. I never desire sex. I cannot desire something as terrifying as sex. But I can have a sexual response. We need two terms because sexual attraction is directed at a specific person, but sexual desire is not necessarily directed at anyone in particular. Sexual attraction can be defined as directed sexual desire. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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