misswinchester Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 I am also nervous already. I actually have no idea how my country compares to the US but it's bad enough so whatever. Two years ago I was working at a restaurant and I volunteered to work seeing as I was probably the only one not going to date that night anyway. Huge fucking mistake, I kept wanting to vomit in their food :') Nothing like being surrounded by people on dates (straight or not) to make you feel like a freak This year I actually have my own business, but I just can't get myself to promote my products for Valentine's. I know I should but how the fuck would I even do that lol. I keep making ace jokes anyway. Like, would you rather go on a date with cake than with a human being? Buy this shit. It's truly horrible whaha! On 1/17/2020 at 1:48 AM, HelloSnakeEyes said: You guys misunderstand I want to be spiteful out of jealousy. People who show affection (to a certain degree) in public aren't being spiteful. It's me, it's always about me😂! Lol I do the same thing, not out of jealousy tho. Back in the day when " gay" being used as an insult was at its height my (gay) friends and I developed a habit of calling everything straight whenever it did something to offend us. Think, "that stupid hetero suitcase, clooooossseeeeeeeee you stupid hetero!". Never directed at a people and actually only in each others company anyway. Even after we "split up" I kept doing it in my head as a way to deal. When I found out I was ace, I started to say it to my best friend and her now-husband. "Can you please keep the PDA to a minimum. I fully tolerate your hetero lifestyle but I'd rather not look at it, thanks." She knows it actually makes me a bit uncomfortable and knows its in jest, so now she is saying it to her friends as well. Who don't get it. Stupid heteros :') Then that snowballed into me thinking it at people I saw in the streets. It genuinely does make me feel better so eh. Funny thing is though, I walked past a couple of (people presenting as) men kissing a few months ago and thought "ugh heteros" again. I did actually not see that coming lol. Oh and I say things like "ugh you heteros know nothing" whenever my mum says something really stupid. Like, when she tells me some story about some couple that I don't care about and it's really obvious that us aces are actually a lot better at the whole intimacy thing. Whyyyyy would you depend on one singular person to provide all your intimacy needs in one singular way? It's stupid people, hella stupid. Anyways 10/10 do recommend shouting "ugh heteros" at people inside your head. Very therapeutic. On 1/17/2020 at 2:06 AM, Philip027 said: Oh ok. Well, it isn't that either of us feel a "need" to do it; it's just that we ARE together and sometimes, in order for us to properly function as adults, we have to go outside to get things done. We don't specifically go out on V-day just to put on a show or something, but we're also not going to just stay inside if we have to get anything done on that day just to spare others' feelings. It's not like we're awkwardly making out on the subway (so that nobody else can get away) or anything. The extent of what we're doing is holding hands and letting my spouse sit on my lap in the subway (if I'm actually lucky enough to get a seat), which I think is pretty tame stuff overall. The only person I've ever had sit on my lap was my gay best friend in school lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 I really don't understand why you guys are having such issues with valentine's day. Before Clutch (lol, literally BC) I never gave a shit and just ignored it. You aren't forced to participate, there's certainly no need to feel you have to vomit in others' food because of it, jesus. Link to post Share on other sites
PoeciMeta Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 Pff. Valentine's day is the meaningless, hyper-commercialised husk of what it used to be. REAL purists celebrate Lupercalia - sacrifice a goat, cut a ribbon off its skin and hit people with it while running around town half naked~ Seriously though it's just a holiday for those who feel the need to care about their relationship 1 day per year, so first it shouldn't be the only day you love your partner, and second, don't you have other relationship (familial, friendly) you want to celebrate? Link to post Share on other sites
Conscious Cat-Panda Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 This holiday really builds pressure on people. Let me share my experience of how it went the one time I celebrated it. 4 years ago, my then-bf and I were in 3rd month of our relationship and Valentine was coming close - it would fall on a Saturday that year. So I kept asking him if he had any plans. One because I wanted to know his expectations, two because he was unavailable on the weekends and I wanted to see more of him. Finally he said "yes we'll go out" and I was excited!! The day comes, he asked me to meet him at a venue, I turned up in a very crowded place in high heels, waiting for one hour to be seated in (he planned on the spot, made no reservation). Next, he suggested we go shopping in an open exhibition - turned out to be a dead place and he apparently didn't want to anything either. So what was I doing limping for two hours there under fully sunny weather? Filling the gaps with awkward conversation. After that, I was like maybe we can go home now. That's when he suggested we should go to a tourist spot the adjacent city, famous for bar and night life. Basically he was feeling guilty at this point and wanted to make up for it. So what did we do? Commute for another hour, and wait to get a spot (again!). By the time we sat I was exhausted, irritable, and now he wanted to talk (romance and sex both). Well I got drunk away and went to bed early. Also ended the relationship a month later. Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolatastic AroAce Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 I don't get the holiday and it doesn't even feel like a holiday to me. It's just another day...you just have to avoid going out unless you want to be bombarded with love stuff.. I just make sure I work that day so I don't have to interact with anyone and pretend i care about other peoples romantic endeavors. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkStormyKnight Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 I totally get that people dislike this holiday, I hate it too, it's just so much commercialization and usually heteronormativity and DEFINITELY amatonormativity thrown in my face. I just try to remember that it's all bullshit, doesn't have any meaning unless I let it take over my life and it sure isn't about to do that. Also the week after is Aromantic Awareness Week! Maybe focus on that instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 It's my birthday on the 15th February so I've always thought of that time of year as being all about me, anyway! I always used to get cards through the post the day before my birthday so when people asked if I got any cards on Valentines Day I'd always say - yes, loads! Also, I always have a night out for my birthday and as I'm always single, people tend to just come on their own without their other halves. I've never really noticed the whole romantic thing, much too wrapped up in my own birthday! Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 On 1/16/2020 at 7:08 PM, Biblioromantic said: Hi, friends, It's been a while since I've checked in, and I really need some commiseration or ideas from my fellow aces and allies. All my life since I was a small child, I hoped one Valentines day I'd have someone to celebrate it with. I'm not very romantically-inclined, and I'm not usually attracted to people romantically. Eleven months of the year, I really don't give a hoot whether I have a romantic partner except that I'd really like to have a long-term best friend or a QPR at some point in the semi-distant future. I have friends, mostly a trio of guy friends that don't know each other whatsoever, but no one that I'm so connected to that they reach out to me all that often. I seem to make friends with guys more easily, I guess. And I've had gal pals before, but it seems I can't get girls to stick around for more than a couple years, and then they tend to abandon me for someone else. Right on schedule, I'm starting to struggle with the lack of a significant relationship. It hit me like a brick wall last weekend, a craving for connection, to matter to someone more than anyone else. To be important to someone. To have someone call or text *me* first to check in, instead of always, always being the other way around. To have someone reach for me. To have them ask to spend time with me without me always, always being the one to plan the event first. And then I looked at the calendar today and realized why. It's a month before Valentine's Day in the US, which is celebrated annually on February 14th. I've heard all the arguments about it being a made-up holiday for the candy and flower and greeting card companies. I know I should have more control of my emotions and not let it bother me that I will probably never, ever have someone to celebrate the day with in my lifetime. Some years in the past I've ordered flowers for myself to be delivered the day before the holiday so I have something to remind me to be strong and to smile about. Some years I've taken the day off work to wallow and cry and avoid the happy couples out celebrating. Some years I've taken myself out on a solo date the weekend before. In all these situations, I always breathe a sigh of relief when the weekend after the holiday passes and I'm feeling more back to my normal, aromantic self. How do you guys handle this time of year? Is there anything you do to cope? Love is not just romantic. I buy stuff for friends and new toys or treats for my rottweiler as a sign of love and thanks for being in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 V day isn’t a big thing for me, even with a SO. There be cards and the infamous sonic movie to watch not on the actual day itself, but that’s just about it, it’s on a Friday this year and that’s a day nothing in particular will happen anyway. It’s pretty much another day Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I... am with someone but I care more about the day after valentine's day when the best chocolates go 75% off ... I dont get the hype of valentine's day. It's a commercial holiday to make people be fake and spend lots of money on stuff that will be thrown away shortly (cards, flowers). It means nothing about love. O.o Link to post Share on other sites
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