whats the difference between giving a compliment and flirting?

[TheAceAroDragon]

like where is the border iam both aromantic and asexual so iam a bit confused like one time i told a girl her hair looked nice and then there were people saying stuff like "ooou you got a girlfriend" and "do you LIKE her" so like tell me people what is what

[Grimalkin]

Well if you're around the kind of people who tease like that then they're going to make everything out to be flirting. Saying someone's hair looks nice isn't usually enough on its own though-- flirting is more paying special attention to one person in particular, making them feel attractive and engaged. That includes compliments, singling them out to talk to in particular, smiling and making eye contact and laughing at their jokes, etc. It's a collection of actions rather than just one or two things. 

 

That said, here's a handy rule of thumb for complimenting people: Compliment them on things that they've done, not things that they have naturally. So for instance, saying someone's eyes look nice is what they have naturally; they didn't put any effort into those and can't change it. But telling someone their outfit is cool, or what they've done with their hair (styled it in a certain way, colored it, etc.) will make them feel proud of themselves and their effort. 

 

You still might get teased though, because it sounds like your friends are just those kinds of people. 

[- Saph -]

People who want to ship will always ship.

All is well as long as the person who received the compliment is happy about it and not misunderstanding.

[why cant i find a name use]

1 hour ago, TheAceAroDragon said:

like where is the border iam both aromantic and asexual so iam a bit confused like one time i told a girl her hair looked nice and then there were people saying stuff like "ooou you got a girlfriend" and "do you LIKE her" so like tell me people what is what

i am in the same boat as you. i complement girls because they tend to put more effort into their appearance and i feel like they would appreciate the occasional "your hair looks really nice today".  

[Acing It]

2 hours ago, TheAceAroDragon said:

saying stuff like "ooou you got a girlfriend"

I agree with everything @Grimalkin said and the above is well... just childish.

[Rockblossom]

It really depends on how well you know the person and whether or not they are looking for complements/how they will react.  If you don't know them well enough to know how they will react, then it's probably best to not comment on their looks at all.   While some people dress or tweak their appearance in order to look good to other people,  many others chose their clothes/hairstyles/makeup/tattoos/piercings/whatever for themselves and not others.  For the latter group, a "complement" that is unasked for may feel really intrusive and possibly creepy.  

 

But like the others have said, having people "ship" you based on a simple comment is childish.  

[Guest]

Moved from Chatterbox to Musings and Rantings.

 

Timeless

JFF and Arcade Moderator
 

[kiaroskuro]

The only difference, really, is your intention. You can't really control how others perceive and interpret your remark.

 

Of course, there are the famous unwritten rules of social interaction that you could take into consideration if you want to avoid misunderstandings, but I'm afraid I'm the least qualified person to help you with that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[TheAceAroDragon]

2 hours ago, why cant i find a name use said:

i am in the same boat as you. i complement girls because they tend to put more effort into their appearance and i feel like they would appreciate the occasional "your hair looks really nice today".  

those are my thoughts! alot of girls i know spend ages doing their hair and it comes out pretty cool looking to say so my self like my friend (who is a girl) dyed her hair and it looks so damn cool though i havent said anything cuz im scared of the teasing 

[SithLord]

This is coming from someone who cannot flirt and does not pick up on flirting from others, but it's what I've read and observed on TV or in movies.

 

Flirting comes with more signals than just a compliment. It tends to involve focus on the individual, correct tone (sometimes friendly, but always nice and not really apathetic), body language, etc. Even without the other signals, as Grimalkin mentioned, certain compliments can lean more towards flirting, such as if they're about the person rather than their feats or accomplishments.