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rattata

advice?

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rattata

i’m 18, and i’ve been struggling with the idea that i may be asexual for a while now. i watch porn and masturbate a few times a week, but if i picture myself in a sexual situation, i get extremely uncomfortable. i don’t know if it’s because i’m very insecure about my body. for as long as i can remember, i have only been comfortable with a few close people touching me in certain areas of my body. i am constantly second guessing whether my lack of sexual desire towards people is because of the insecurity or because i’m possibly asexual. i know that i’m young, and i don’t need to have everything figured out, but it’s something that i think about a lot. i guess i just wanted to know if anyone has had a similar experience or any advice to give

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AstroCat

Hi Rattata, im sorry that you are struggling but i have gone through similar things so i hope i can help you. Being asexual is the lack of sexual attraction. you can still watch porn and masturbate and be asexual. the fact that you are insecure about your body might also play a part into your asexuality (it does for me) but the fact that you are uncomfortable in a sexual situation is more asexual than not. if you are only conferrable with a few people, perhaps you are grey ace or demisexual ( grey ace is limited sexual attraction and demisexual is sexual attraction after a bond is formed) i am a lot younger than you and if feels really nice to have your SO (sexual orientation) figured out a bit. and the fact that you are extremely uncomfortable makes me believe that you might be on the ace spectrum somewhere. if im wrong someone please correct me but this is what i think and i hope it helps a little. 

Demisexual: 

https://www.bustle.com/articles/155277-what-does-demisexual-mean-here-are-6-signs-that-you-may-identify-as-demisexual

grey ace: 

https://www.healthline.com/health/graysexual

maybe check out those cites i dont know how good they are lol 

stay strong, stay proud!

Edited by AstroCat

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uhtred

My usually comment on this sort of question is that the label doesn't matter at all. What matters is that you be self-aware of what you want and what you don't want, and that you act on that.   If your desires happen to fit some label, that provides a convenient description, but there is nothing wrong with not fitting into any common label

 

 

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Saphoune
6 hours ago, rattata said:

i’m 18, and i’ve been struggling with the idea that i may be asexual for a while now. i watch porn and masturbate a few times a week, but if i picture myself in a sexual situation, i get extremely uncomfortable. i don’t know if it’s because i’m very insecure about my body. for as long as i can remember, i have only been comfortable with a few close people touching me in certain areas of my body. i am constantly second guessing whether my lack of sexual desire towards people is because of the insecurity or because i’m possibly asexual. i know that i’m young, and i don’t need to have everything figured out, but it’s something that i think about a lot. i guess i just wanted to know if anyone has had a similar experience or any advice to give

Hello rattata.

I'm in my 30's and I have been bothered with low self-esteem since forever. Being on the asexual spectrum may come from this but I'm doubting it. After all that progress made with selfconfidence and assertivity (I loathe this word everytime I see it on job ads) I am still as unintrestrested in partnered sex as when I was at my lowest.

Your (a)sexuality is totally valid, even if you discover new aspects later on. Don't worry too much about it.

If there is anything that you may want to work on that would be body positivity. Being around great people and feeling confortable is what got me out of my teenage crisis. Sport also helped me connect to my body but finding one that I liked was not easy.

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AstroCat
1 hour ago, uhtred said:

My usually comment on this sort of question is that the label doesn't matter at all. What matters is that you be self-aware of what you want and what you don't want, and that you act on that.   If your desires happen to fit some label, that provides a convenient description, but there is nothing wrong with not fitting into any common label

 

 

i agree with Uhtred i just like labels bcause its something for me to sit in and feel happy and loved and safe idk just me 

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