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I don't want to be Asexual...


Jajawht

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Hi guys! I'm new so I don't know if this post is okay but I'm going to try anyway... 

So I wanted to know if anyone else has the same struggles?

Okay so I'm 23 years old and I've known about being asexual for a few years now, I mean it was kind of obvious when I wasn't interested in having sex while going through pubity, but recently I've been really struggling with it. I don't feel normal, I feel like there's something wrong with me and I want to be able to have an interest in sex especially since I still have an interest in having a relationship but honestly sex is more like a chore or punishment rather than an intimate act and it actually causes me to resent my partners for wanting to do it. I really just want to be able to have a normal relationship where I want to have sex with my partner and enjoy it instead of feeling disgusting and hateful afterwards... 

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I'm a lot older, I felt the same way as you when I was your age, I tried sex when I was 19, I had 2 different partners, I hated it, back then, asexuality wasn't heard of, I didn't know of the term until I was in my 40's, back in the 80's you were either straight or gay, there was a stigma to being gay back then, but since the age of around 7, (or so my late grandmother told me), I always knew I'd be single, I'd never have kids, now, in my 50's, I'm single, no kids, I experience attraction to others, I just don't have the desire to have sex, now that people are more aware of asexuality and other orientations, that society is a lot more accepting of people and their own unique ways, I don't see younger asexuals having problems in finding a partner, there are even asexual dating sites now on the internet, I can't say for certain, but I think it may be easier to find a partner now for the younger generations than it was when I was in my teens, 20's, 30's. You can't change who you are, be yourself, let someone love you for who you are rather than what you are, it's better than forcing yourself to do something that really doesn't do anything for you except make you dislike yourself

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Screenshot-20200114-231236-Gallery.jpg

Gender doesn't matter here, the concept is the relevant part. Be careful not to absorb the words/opinions of people who don't share/understand your journey.

 

Please don't waste any more time being upset. There is no such thing as "normal". If you keep doing something to keep others happy but hate yourself in the process, you will cause yourself more harm than good. Look after your mental health. 

 

When the thought pops up in your head that you wish you weren't asexual, don't block it, welcome it then let it go. 

 

Wishing you all the best. 🍰

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We don't get to choose some things. What you are feeling isn't uncommon, not just for aces but for everyone - just being gay can be an insurmountable wall for a lot of people, and it causes a lot of pain. Finding a partner is just that much more difficult. The important thing is to not put yourself in a position where you are compromised and uncomfortable.

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Unfortunately, a lot of people wish for what they can't have. It's not anyone's fault, but we're not born in the same place and we're not all the same people. Being ace can be inconvenient and frustrating, but it's who we are, and hating a part of ourselves isn't healthy. 

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