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Jade Cross

To want nothing

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Jade Cross

I suppose this is a half Tea and sympathy and half philosophy thread so if neccesary, feel free to move.

 

Now Im not sure if anyone else has this happening on an almost daily basis but the older I get, the more I come to realize that what I first thought were my  ultimate goals have been nothing more than superficial "You should's" that we are told we must achieve. And adter achieving them, I have always felt that dissapointing feeling that said goals did not fulfill me, upon which I took ever more difficult goals to acomplish and did complete them only to find that dissapointed feeling again. 

 

Now, I cant honestly say I look forward to anything because I feel there isnt any purpose to it. Even if I did 100 new goals, if the only thing waiting for me at the finish line is the dissapointment that comes from finishing it, what purpose would it serve?

 

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Iridium

Life doesn't have to be a series of tasks to accomplish.  It can be enough just to take care of yourself and help others from day to day.  Cherish the small, impermanent joys.

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KrysLost

mhm, that's all that life is. small moments of feeling. life doesn't actually need a purpose you know? just live it however y o u want. 

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Howard

The important part is the journey, not the destination.

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what the face

Your description of goal disorientation reminds me of where I was some time back.

 

Questions: from where these goals arose ,  how they became attached to me? 

                     Is checking off another goal box purposeful? 

No wonder meeting them was so dissatisfying.

 

I'm relating more now to themes for life that are neither chosen or received, but can 

be part of a recognition of authentic self /soul/spirit.

groovy right?

 

btw -  'feeling groovy'  one of my discovered themes

 

 

 

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gisiebob

they tried to take my blood

grey ice water was all they received

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uhtred

Enjoying life is a way to rebel against an unimaginably vast and uncaring universe.  In a billion years nothing you  do will matter in any way whatsoever, but while you are alive and in your vicinity it does. 

 

You do not exist in the vast majority of space and time, but you might as well do what you can / want with the tiny bit of the universe that you can reach. 

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Hanas
5 hours ago, uhtred said:

Enjoying life is a way to rebel against an unimaginably vast and uncaring universe.  In a billion years nothing you  do will matter in any way whatsoever, but while you are alive and in your vicinity it does. 

 

You do not exist in the vast majority of space and time, but you might as well do what you can / want with the tiny bit of the universe that you can reach. 

I think somewhat like this.

 

It's not "whoo, rebel, it doesn't have to have a purpose!!" for me, I think more like uh, sometimes the very act of doing that which we want to do, or being the change we want to see... is incredibly powerful and challenging. Very often, actually, I believe. Of course, you can also try and stay in your comfort zone, but becoming aimless and feeling blue can also happen. But I am really against that sort of... permanent nihilism. I mean, against is a strong word but ultimately I don't think it takes humanity anywhere better.

 

Anyway, I think there's also a degree of apathy that simply stems from exhaustion, a burnout so to speak, and that is basically an illness. I think that both as a "been there done that" thing but also as a mental health professional. It's not always clear which you are feeling at a given moment, if it's an existential phase or something like exhaustion.

 

Edited by Hanas
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Jade Cross

The thing is, that you dont have the time to enjoy it because for the most part, you will be stuck from one goal or problem to another. Resolve said problem and a new one pops up, many times even worse than the one before.

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elisabeth_II
3 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

Resolve said problem and a new one pops up, many times even worse than the one before.

To address only part of the overall question in the thread:

 

In digital life this is really frustrating. Things evolve ever so fast and the general public seems to be more interested in totally remodelling stuff, than fixing smaller problems and enhance the stuff they already have. Somehow, people in general seem to believe that new things will be the solution to the problems that their old things present. How is this wrong? Cos, it is not actually adressing the problem. It is ignoring the problem, making up something from scratch, introducing just as many problems as any new thing introduces, cos it's not tested enough. And then you can gladly say: the old problem is gone, yeiy!

 

I wish humans could be more satisfied and coolheaded.

 

I'm not sure how to adress the overall theme of the thread. I have not achieved a lot of the goals I've set in life, on the contrary, I'm a really easily dishearted person, giving-up seems to be my middle name. I'm really good at spraying ideas around me and initiating projects, I can always see them from start to finish in my head, "knowing" exactly which steps to take, I just seldom really hit it off. Often I blame it on lack of company in achieving them. Usually there's tons of consent, but seldom real emotional support and never help with the actual work to be done. I realize I mostly set goals that are projects involving other people, I seldom set goals.

 

I've been in a state of nihilism for a long time now. The only thing that really matters to me is to initiate the process of achieving world peace. This is a huge goal, and it won't happen during my lifetime. It is a project where I don't know the steps at the moment, it is one that is not achieved by me as a single person. The fact that I will not be able to "achieve" it is actually to my taste, because that reduces the risk for me to give up. I strongly feel that I will not give up on this.

 

That makes all other personal or family goals so small. How many times in my life did I not have the goal to go to the gym on a regular basis, and buying a monthly or annual membership was always the most reliable way to quit within the week of buying it. Now I don't bother to set a goal like this. The reason why I started ignoring such goals/should's is that if I don't set it, I can't feel bad not achieving it. Yes, that is an entrance port to depression and nihilism.

 

The reason why I don't fight it is that I like to spend all my time on world peace. This is still a lifestyle I have to learn and balance. I can't work with worldpeace if I don't function, as in, if I'm too tired, can't sleep, unfocused, my body getting weak, my job gets frustrating (besides driving I have one office day per week which is so freely disposable that I initiate all my projects and don't finish them and nobody even notices and the more flaps I do this way, the more dissatisfied do I become which in turn keeps me from relaxing when I'm at home, cos after all, I slacked* at work to save my energy to work with world peace at home, didn't I?).

 

* "slacking" is for what I recurringly mistake the concept of working on so many projects that I literally take one step forward and three backwards every time in all of them.

 

On 1/14/2020 at 2:11 PM, what the face said:

I'm relating more now to themes for life that are neither chosen or received, but can 

be part of a recognition of authentic self /soul/spirit.

That sounds interesting. I'll think about the themes. In my world peace work, the idea of certain principles is somewhat central. I'm always trying to balance, so that the goal or result of my work will not be "the ultimate set of rules" or commandments, cos that won't get us anywhere. So, I called it principles, but maybe theme is an even better word, because it is even less strict than principles. Rules can be both strict and detailed. Principles are less detailed, but it is still up to people to follow them blindly/strictly or more losely. I think the word "theme" can address this issue. 

 

To conclude it, I know the feeling that no goal seems to be worth working with or achieving. Although for very different reasons than the OP stated. I'm aware of the risks with "wanting nothing", at the same time I try to apply the following theme to my life: Happy aren't those who have a lot, but those who don't need a lot.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Jade, I'm not being funny, but I really think you need to go to the doctor for depression. You need the kind of help us on an internet forum can't really provide.

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Nick2

Perhaps it is the goals you are setting.

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Jade Cross
2 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Jade, I'm not being funny, but I really think you need to go to the doctor for depression. You need the kind of help us on an internet forum can't really provide.

I dont mean to sound dismissive but I have a bit of a history of going to doctors and coming out worse than when I go in as not one of them has helped nor even given me something useful to work with. Whatever improvement I can do, Ive done on my own

 

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Anthracite_Impreza
5 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

I dont mean to sound dismissive but I have a bit of a history of going to doctors and coming out worse than when I go in as not one of them has helped nor even given me something useful to work with. Whatever improvement I can do, I do on my own.

I've struggled with doctors too but at times they have pointed me in the right direction. Sounds like you could do with a support group of some kind, no one can do everything on their own (something I still need help remembering myself).

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elisabeth_II
1 hour ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

no one can do everything on their own

Especially not world peace! ✌️

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Anthracite_Impreza
3 minutes ago, elisabeth_II said:

Especially not world peace! ✌️

I'd... start with smaller goals if I'm honest.

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elisabeth_II
1 minute ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I'd... start with smaller goals if I'm honest.

That sounded like my boss... "You always have these big questions...!" Well, someone has to have them, someone has to believe. So, I'll continue on my own then.... At least I got all the time in the world.

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Anthracite_Impreza
Just now, elisabeth_II said:

That sounded like my boss... "You always have these big questions...!" Well, someone has to have them, someone has to believe. So, I'll continue on my own then.... At least I got all the time in the world.

Like @Jade Cross, just getting out of bed... at some point... is a challenge for me. I think we'll leave world peace to those who have the energy.

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elisabeth_II
Just now, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Like @Jade Cross, just getting out of bed... at some point... is a challenge for me.

Same here. I mess up all ALL of my smaller goals, so I don't do any smaller goals anymore. I absolutely don't have the energy to make world peace on my own, and I'm pretty aware that most people don't synergize with me, so, like I said... I'll just continue on my own.... 🎵

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