Anyone else just feel helpless?

[sadfruit]

For a while I’ve worried that I might be incapable of feeling sexual pleasure, that there might even be something physically wrong with me. I’m a sex-positive person but just lack sensation in that part of my body, for the most part. It’s made me really angry and depressed and hate my body. I think I’m missing out. I just want to be normal. It regularly drives me to the point of tears. I don’t feel libido or arousal of any kind; I feel kind of like a robot that wishes for a sense of smell- like I’m pining for a sense I’m just not capable of experiencing.

 

I’ve been masturbating anyway out of desperation, even though most of the time it just leads to disappointment and depression. The encouraging thing is that this has led to “pleasure” twice- the discouraging thing is that I did not like it. I was not aroused in either case, but just kept touching myself until, at long last, I found the exact way to touch that led to that feeling. And I disliked it. I spent such a long time chasing after sexual sensations that I never considered disliking them as a possibility. I tried to like it, but after a few seconds I just had to stop.

 

I felt sort of helpless, and vulnerable, like my body was out of my control. I kept it up for as long as I could stand and then paused to regain my bearings, but I had lost it. Like I’d spent years tracking a unicorn, finally caught it, realized it was too much to handle, and then it escaped.

 

Can anyone else here relate at all?? Am I asexual or just a freak? It’s very disheartening. At this point I just don’t know what to do.

[gisiebob]

well, often when we are considering sexual orientation here, we take how we might feel about sexuality, put it to the side, and look at what kind of sexual partnership we find ourselves wanting to have. this helps simplify things and helps us all get on the same page, even thought we are largely talking about squishy subjective thoughtstuff.

 

I think, well there were a lot of people before planes were invented who tried to make things that flew like birds did, and it must have been really frustrating. so maybe consider the obvious path  that everyone seems to find so easy ain't the one for you, and that's not something good or something bad, is just you. 

[- Saph -]

If this is about physical sensations only then libido may be the issue. Then it can be that your body is not in condition to give you the best orgasm ever. It may be due to stress, health issues, medications, hormones,... You should check with a health professional.

Also there may be more than one way to have pleasure. Internet is full of sex ed tutos and advice to experiment and reach new types of sensations.

Now the question is are you asexual? Do you sometimes want to engage in sexual activities with other people aroud you?

You have all the rights to be asexual and feel upset at your libido. But some asexuals don't feel the need to have a libido and this is valid as well. Just make sure that you do things because you want them and not to do like the others.