Badlover Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 (Note: I am female) When I look at “attractive” people I never think “Id like to tap that”. I never gushed over cute boys (or girls) or had a crush in high school. But I do find myself masturbating to porn, straight and gay men seem to be my preferred categories. When I am watching porn I actually find myself listening to moans (especially at climax) instead of actually watching the act sometimes. I will try to climax at the same time as the people. Same thing with written erotica, I read and use my vibrator until the person in the story climaxes. Im trying to make sense of this all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Oat Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Most of the things you've listed (I feel) do not indicate asexuality or the lack of it. If by thinking "I'd top that" I'm assuming you mean that you'd be willing to have sex with which ever person you were referring to. Asexuals are not particularly against having sex but mostly prefer not to or at least don't take the initiative of considering who'd they would and would not "top" (not to say every ace is like this). Though ace's are not prone to such behaviors we can appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty rather than "being turned on". Do you find these top-able people aesthetically pleasing or simulating in a sexual fashion? This question is similar to @CBC's but I hope this is still useful to you 😊 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
away4long Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Exactly, that's how I make sense of it all. I don't feel sexual attraction to people, I'll find someone beautiful, but nothing more. The actual image of having sex with another human being : meeeh. When I read erotica though that gets me off. Also, I think there are different - I want to say - "types" of asexual... Anyway, I try not to focus so much on labels. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Oat said: If by thinking "I'd top that" I'm assuming you mean that you'd be willing to have sex with which ever person you were referring to. Asexuals are not particularly against having sex but mostly prefer not to or at least don't take the initiative of considering who'd they would and would not "top" (not to say every ace is like this). It was "I'd tap that". I don't know that slang term, but I suppose it's something like "I'd try that sexually", not about specific sex roles. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 It all depends on if you want to have sex, not if you can get excited. I can find people hot... I just don't want to do anything with them. I think you're safe. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Badlover said: (Note: I am female) When I look at “attractive” people I never think “Id like to tap that”. I never gushed over cute boys (or girls) or had a crush in high school. None of that is required for being sexual. Not all sexuals would "tap" a stranger they see. Or have random crushes. 4 hours ago, Badlover said: But I do find myself masturbating to porn, straight and gay men seem to be my preferred categories. When I am watching porn I actually find myself listening to moans (especially at climax) instead of actually watching the act sometimes. I will try to climax at the same time as the people. Same thing with written erotica, I read and use my vibrator until the person in the story climaxes. Im trying to make sense of this all. Some aces watch porn. Some dont. So.. could be either. You have to go deeper and figure out how you feel about sexual activities with other people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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