Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 As a young queer Muslim, gender identity, gender expression, and pronouns have been a struggle. The Muslim community tends to be hostile towards queers and I often feel lost. When I was younger I decided I was a boy, my parents have always been really supportive but the community was not. So I soon realized that I didn't want to face the hate and judgement that came along with transitioning. And for a while I was lying to myself and others about my gender. Thankfully now I am more comfortable and I just recently came out to my mom and lose friends as Non-binary! I am very exited to get my hair cut and to start going back and forth between a topi ( male Muslim head covering) and a hijab (female Muslim head covering)! I hope my story can help others who are struggling, please reach out if you want to talk gender, pronouns, Islam, LGBTQIANPD+, or other great topics! Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Hi! If you're interested, there's a documentary about bacha posh (AFAB girls who dress as boys), featuring a teen from the Middle East. Spoiler AVEN also has a Muslim Asexuals thread, too. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 59 minutes ago, LeChat said: Hi! If you're interested, there's a documentary about bacha posh (AFAB girls who dress as boys), featuring a teen from the Middle East. Reveal hidden contents Since I prefer reading to watching (and therefore know a lot of books and few visual documentaries), I'll mention that just recently I have read a book about this topic: Link to post Share on other sites
That Ginger Kid Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 It’s great that your parents are supportive! It’s hard to transition in any way when your family and community is unsupportive. But hopefully others around you will see that being nb doesn’t mean you’re different or bad, and that it’s just you trying to be yourself Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 I'm curious - which pronouns do you use in Arabic, or whichever language you speak within your Muslim community (apart from English)? I'm not Muslim myself, but one side of my family is from a Muslim country, and it always made me mad that gender stereotypes are being reinforced in this culture to such a great extent. Ironically, their language has a gender-neutral pronoun, so from a linguistic point of view, this place is pretty ideal for genderqueer-ish people like me. But in all other respects, it's the worst place for queers. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Welcome to AVEN! Nice to know that you want to share you experiences with us! 4 hours ago, Samin Al'Jamil said: hijab (female Muslim head covering)! I opened a thread on that in HotBox: Political intervention on wearing hijab in non-muslim countries Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 10, 2020 Author Share Posted January 10, 2020 @kiaroskuro I only speak a few words of Arabic so I'm not sure. But I really want to know! Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 10, 2020 Author Share Posted January 10, 2020 @elisabeth_II Thanks for the resource! I will definitely check it out! Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 10, 2020 Author Share Posted January 10, 2020 @LeChat and @Nowhere Girl Thank you, I didn't know this was a thing until now! I will definitely watch this. Link to post Share on other sites
DuranDuranfan Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 10 hours ago, LeChat said: Hi! If you're interested, there's a documentary about bacha posh (AFAB girls who dress as boys), featuring a teen from the Middle East. Reveal hidden contents AVEN also has a Muslim Asexuals thread, too. Teen Vogue did an article about this. It takes place in Afghanistan because Bacha posh is a Pashtun phrase. Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 13 hours ago, Samin Al'Jamil said: @kiaroskuro I only speak a few words of Arabic so I'm not sure. But I really want to know! Ah, okay. Actually, I looked it up in the meantime: Arabic has gender-specific pronouns. I kind of knew it, but forgot about it. It would be interesting to know if someone has come up with gender-neutral ones ... Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 11, 2020 Author Share Posted January 11, 2020 21 minutes ago, kiaroskuro said: Ah, okay. Actually, I looked it up in the meantime: Arabic has gender-specific pronouns. I kind of knew it, but forgot about it. It would be interesting to know if someone has come up with gender-neutral ones ... Yeah, I heard that in the Honduras some queer kids are trying to reconstruct the Spanish language and including non-binary identities! Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Samin Al'Jamil said: Yeah, I heard that in the Honduras some queer kids are trying to reconstruct the Spanish language and including non-binary identities! I'm not sure about Honduras, but I do know that 'elle' (as opposed to 'ella' and 'él') is gaining traction in Spanish I think that shift in language is probably broader than just Honduras tbh, so yay Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 11, 2020 Author Share Posted January 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Laurann said: I'm not sure about Honduras, but I do know that 'elle' (as opposed to 'ella' and 'él') is gaining traction in Spanish I think that shift in language is probably broader than just Honduras tbh, so yay Definitely, I'm in the process of learning Spanish and have been wondering about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 7 minutes ago, Samin Al'Jamil said: Definitely, I'm in the process of learning Spanish and have been wondering about that. In that case, let me recommend you some YouTube. Elsa Ruiz Comica talks about trans issues a lot and uses 'elle' very often, so that should get you used to the neopronoun fairly quickly. I've got a bunch more queer Spanish YouTubers, but eh you're probably not that interested Edit: Also, if you want to google it, try 'lenguaje neutro/inclusivo', 'pronombres no-binarios' or sth like that. They've also got something with an x instead of o or a, and something with @ to represent both the o and the a at the end of words simultaneously. But 'elle' and replacing the o and a with an e is the only variant that works in spoken language, as far as I know. Link to post Share on other sites
DuranDuranfan Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 10 hours ago, Laurann said: I'm not sure about Honduras, but I do know that 'elle' (as opposed to 'ella' and 'él') is gaining traction in Spanish I think that shift in language is probably broader than just Honduras tbh, so yay I would think that with Spanish, any word when referring to a person who is non binary can be simply written with an e instead of the gender indicating o or a. For example, Latino and Latina become Latine. The only Arabic word I know is Salaam. Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 On 1/11/2020 at 12:37 PM, Laurann said: In that case, let me recommend you some YouTube. Elsa Ruiz Comica talks about trans issues a lot and uses 'elle' very often, so that should get you used to the neopronoun fairly quickly. I've got a bunch more queer Spanish YouTubers, but eh you're probably not that interested Edit: Also, if you want to google it, try 'lenguaje neutro/inclusivo', 'pronombres no-binarios' or sth like that. They've also got something with an x instead of o or a, and something with @ to represent both the o and the a at the end of words simultaneously. But 'elle' and replacing the o and a with an e is the only variant that works in spoken language, as far as I know. Thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 On 1/11/2020 at 8:34 PM, DuranDuranfan said: I would think that with Spanish, any word when referring to a person who is non binary can be simply written with an e instead of the gender indicating o or a. For example, Latino and Latina become Latine. The only Arabic word I know is Salaam. Interesting, and if you want to learn some common Arabic phrases I can always teach you. I think it's great if everyone knows some simple Arabic greeting and phrases to help remove the stigma. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I speak French, which is another language in which all nouns are gendered, and, as far as I know, there's no movement yet to add a third/neutral option. Link to post Share on other sites
Zara Al'Jamil Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Iridium said: I speak French, which is another language in which all nouns are gendered, and, as far as I know, there's no movement yet to add a third/neutral option. I see, well maybe you should start one! I will happily back you up. Link to post Share on other sites
PoeciMeta Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 11 hours ago, Iridium said: I speak French, which is another language in which all nouns are gendered, and, as far as I know, there's no movement yet to add a third/neutral option. 9 hours ago, Samin Al'Jamil said: I see, well maybe you should start one! I will happily back you up. Yeah! :c We need one!! I've heard of 'iel' as a pronoun, but... like, what about the rest of the language? Link to post Share on other sites
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