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New to the community but old in general


czambee

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I didn't hear the term asexual until 2014.  I instantly knew that was me.  At 34, I had already lived a whole confusing sexual life and was in the process of getting divorced from a man I did Iove, but just in the platonic sense.  While this new identity and definition was initially freeing, I of course had to "Come Out" and was met with mostly disbelief, lack of understanding, and mocking; I pushed my lack of sexual orientation aside and was cool with the "Spinster" or "Closeted Lesbian" moniker that I would be assigned by default.  Over time that became extremely isolating like I was shamefully hiding as the designated 3rd wheel in everyone else's relationships...the babysitter for date nights, grandmas plus one to all the family functions, the substitute.  

 

I got the "ace of spades" tattooed on my right wrist six months ago, positive this would act as a secret handshake in everyday encounters. Assuredly, I would find someone else like me.  Not that I expected anything more than an approving nod or extended eye contact. To date, it has gone unnoticed and I guess i'm cool with that.  I know what it means.

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AceMissBehaving

Hey nice to meet you! Sounds like we are the same age, and on a similar timeline when it comes to figuring out the whole asexuality thing. I think it’s really neat you got a tattoo. Ace sporting in the wild is always tricky and ambiguous, but fun when it happens.

 

I’m sorry to hear people were less than supportive when you first came out, but happy that you found this little alcove of the internet!

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You know me too.  And i guess I didn't expect people to be super supportive but to have people view your identity as laughable...I don't know; perhaps being asexual or confused about my identity my whole life I am super tolerant to whatever anyone wants to do/be as long its not hurting anyone else.   No need to explain it to me, or sell me on it, or give reasons why this is for you.  I feel like as a society we are slowly creeping towards that or I am at least hopeful.  Thanks for the warm welcome.  I was creeping your page but not in a creepy way.  So this is more like a blog?!? Exciting!! 

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Welcome! You got a tattoo? That’s so cool! I have an ace ring instead (because I got one really cheap) and it took some time but eventually someone noticed. I mean they completely ghosted me later, but someone spotted me :0 

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