is this just insecurity, or true asexuality?

[White Noise]

hi everyone, i've been quite confused about myself for the last few days. i am pretty sure one of my closest friends is hinting onto me that i am asexual (haven't come out). i know you should never take someone else's words 100%, but i simply struggle to show any emotion in a loving way really at all. my friends know how i confess my care for them too, and its nothing to do with hugging, kissing, or saying "i love you" (which is already hard for me to do)

 

i have never openly been a sexual person and am often times weirded out by the constant discussion of sex and relationships around me - i always assumed id die alone and enjoy being single because im scared of people! as a kid, i really only had one bad "sexual" encounter, which wasn't really that sexual, but basically involved one of my friends at the time essentially experimenting on me and making me super uncomfortable.

 

anyways, ive found my sexual desires to be fading away, ive never really had an intimate crush, and it seems like im feeling demisexual.... but still there are so many factors which im unsure of. im on prozac, which obviously could be altering my perception on this whole self-identifying process. im not sure if im dealing with internalized homophobia and insecurity, or if im truly on the asexual spectrum and need to accept it. im trying to be open about my sexuality.

 

any tips?

[That Ginger Kid]

You mentioned Prozac, and I know that antidepressants have been known to cause people to have little to no sex drive. That could be the root of it, or it could be that you’re on the asexual spectrum. If it’s something you’re concerned about, you may want to talk with your doctor to see if you can rule the meds out. 

 

So, the general thing asexual have in common is the lack of interest in sexual relationships. But there is also aromantic, which means you have no interest in romantic relationships. Some people are both. And some people fall in between those terms and the “normal” way people are, and experience those things when certain criteria are met (so, a grey asexual or demi-sexual may only experience sexual attraction after really really getting to know someone, etc.). It’s definitely no rush to get yourself figured out now, but it may be helpful to ask yourself how you’re really feeling. Take a step back from life, try to shut out anything in your life that may be causing the feelings, and look at things critically. Are you actually not attracted to anyone, or are you just going through a rough time? Do you actually not even get crushes, or are you just not willing to admit them to yourself? 

 

You’re the only one who can answer these things, and it’ll probably be a bit of a journey to really sort them out. This is the method I used when I was sorting out my emotions, even though I was really certain of them (I’d known I was different from my peers since kids my age started getting crushes and I didn’t). The more time you take to find yourself,  the more will be known. Best of luck

[White Noise]

6 minutes ago, That Ginger Kid said:

You mentioned Prozac, and I know that antidepressants have been known to cause people to have little to no sex drive. That could be the root of it, or it could be that you’re on the asexual spectrum. If it’s something you’re concerned about, you may want to talk with your doctor to see if you can rule the meds out. 

 

So, the general thing asexual have in common is the lack of interest in sexual relationships. But there is also aromantic, which means you have no interest in romantic relationships. Some people are both. And some people fall in between those terms and the “normal” way people are, and experience those things when certain criteria are met (so, a grey asexual or demi-sexual may only experience sexual attraction after really really getting to know someone, etc.). It’s definitely no rush to get yourself figured out now, but it may be helpful to ask yourself how you’re really feeling. Take a step back from life, try to shut out anything in your life that may be causing the feelings, and look at things critically. Are you actually not attracted to anyone, or are you just going through a rough time? Do you actually not even get crushes, or are you just not willing to admit them to yourself? 

 

You’re the only one who can answer these things, and it’ll probably be a bit of a journey to really sort them out. This is the method I used when I was sorting out my emotions, even though I was really certain of them (I’d known I was different from my peers since kids my age started getting crushes and I didn’t). The more time you take to find yourself,  the more will be known. Best of luck

thank you! i've really never had a real crush, ive always had to lie. it was even hard for me to choose who i was gonna fake having a crush on.... and that was over 5 years ago. in that sense, I feel quite connected to the asexual community. there has never been someone that i craved a sexual relationship with. but with that, i don't really know why. so now, nothings really changed. that's the only reason why im not letting prozac rule out all of the possibilities of me being somewhat asexual.

 

but like i mentioned, there are so many other factors swarming my head that its gonna take me some time to make the conscious decision of who and what i am. i've always been the one to say id push relationships and love to college, at this point ive yet to go on one date lol. i am aesthetically attracted to men, and internally i still desire a relationship which i don't think ill ever experience in the physical world.