Am I aro/ace?

[Latikatika]

So I just turned 15, and for most of my high school life I’ve known that I wasn’t really into people romantically or otherwise the same way that other people are. I’ve never had a crush on anyone, much to the incredulity of some friends. Basically, all my friends know that I’ve never felt any kind of attraction to someone- I mean I can appreciate beauty aesthetically, but nothing more. I’m not a fan of physical contact (like hugs etc.) even with my own family. 

 

I don’t really feel out of place, I just sort of accept it, and I’m a year young for my grade anyway so I sorta just thought that maybe that was part of it, but now I’m 15 and I feel like something should have happened.

 

Up till now, whenever I’ve been asked what my sexuality is, I’ve just gone with ‘I dunno’ coz I figured that maybe I’ll feel attraction for someone one day and I don’t want to announce an identity prematurely, though I know it doesn’t really matter. 

 

So basically the question is, should I just identify as ace/aro now, or should I wait it out a bit longer?

[Homer]

Hi

 

There's nothing unusual about not having felt that kind of thing at your age. A lot of things can change rather quickly and the world may look completely different in not much time. You may end up feeling these things tomorrow, in five weeks, two years, 30 years or never... whatever it will be, the only bit that actually matters is that you're comfortable with who you are and what you feel.

 

There's no need to "label" yourself one way or the other  

[NickyTannock]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be an Aromantic Asexual, but I can't answer that for you, and your feelings could change in the future.
I can give you my experience, though. In my case, I realised that I'm an Aromantic Asexual in my early teens around 14 when I started hearing sexual and romantic comments from my peers and in media and felt bewildered.
I chose to identify as Ace shortly after, but only with my friends and online, and I'm now 34, and my feelings are the same now as they were back then.
But before I made that decision, I had to be comfortable with the idea of dropping the label if my feelings changed.
Labels are, after all, descriptions.
I hope this helps, even though I didn't directly answer your question.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Australian didgeridoo" cake (all edible),

https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/257800-australian-didgeridoo-cake-music-around-the-world-collaboration

[naakka]

On 1/7/2020 at 3:20 PM, Latikatika said:

So basically the question is, should I just identify as ace/aro now, or should I wait it out a bit longer?

There's no one right answer or any "deadline" to decide your labels. If you don't experience any romantic or sexual attraction towards anyone, aro/ace is a label that describes people like you. But it's not a lifelong "decision"; your experience of attraction is out of your personal control. If you later realize you're not aro/ace, you can simply look back and note that things have changed or you now know more about yourself than you did at the time you thought you were aro/ace.

 

I personally suffered from the fact that I didn't know anything about aroace back at my teens, I couldn't identify as such and accept myself the way I am. For me that could have been a huge relief. But if the labels feel more like "a must" or burden to you, there's no need to use them "just because". Labels should help you, not restrict you.

[Black Husky]

On 1/7/2020 at 2:20 PM, Latikatika said:

Up till now, whenever I’ve been asked what my sexuality is, I’ve just gone with ‘I dunno’ coz I figured that maybe I’ll feel attraction for someone one day and I don’t want to announce an identity prematurely, though I know it doesn’t really matter. 

 

So basically the question is, should I just identify as ace/aro now, or should I wait it out a bit longer?

If you feel like those labels fit, then you can call yourself aro/ace anytime and if you feel like they don't fit anymore you can change them whenever you want. But you really don't have to choose a label if you're not sure yet. I personally am not sure where excatly on the aromantic spectrum I fit, that's why I just say that I'm somewhere on the spectrum. I also thought about using greyromantic or WTF-romantic, but I felt like they didn't quiet fit so I don't use them. When I think that I figured out which label is the most fitting I'll change it from aro-spec to whatever I think is the best label