Dawning Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Yes, I know, Converse All Stars are made for both men and women; that's why I put "male" in quotes. Because they were originally made as basketball shoes for men, I see this kind of shoe as more of a male thing, especially in a dark indeterminate neutral color like this, as opposed to the brights and pastels, or basic black, that I've mostly seen on women who wear them. The "uniform" that I have evolved in my mind for how I'd like to look when I go out amongst people, until such time as I can afford an extravagant louche suit, and have someplace to go where it would actually be appropriate to wear anything that fancy, is a 50s style men's shirt, white T-shirt, jeans… and these: What do you think? Does anyone have any insights from shifting their wardrobe to more of a previously unexplored gender? Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 My insight is that depending on your size, it can be hard-to-impossible to get cross-gender shoes in your size. Also I had fun with elevator shoes for a while, might go back. Link to post Share on other sites
Yoruka Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 "SHOE IS SHOE!" - My opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
frostboot Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Yay for switching out your wardrobe! How exciting! It can be nerve-wrecking but also a lot of fun and super freeing. I don't know if I have any insights, since there is no one way to do this. Maybe just be prepared for that the way people see you and talk to you can change quite drastically, though that doesn't have to be a bad thing! Link to post Share on other sites
Winter-Cattle Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 3 hours ago, anisotrophic said: My insight is that depending on your size, it can be hard-to-impossible to get cross-gender shoes in your size. I'm a petite woman, so my feet are too small for most women's shoe ranges. I buy myself boy's (rather than men's) or unisex children's shoes instead. If your feet are too small for men's ranges, there must be shoes in boy's ranges that fit you. Otherwise, older children and younger teenagers all would have to wear women's shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
AceEline Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 4 hours ago, Yoruka said: "SHOE IS SHOE!" - My opinion. yes it is that way......... but it also isn't. Dysphoria can be triggerd by a lot of different 'stupid' things. These things can be veeeeery small, like what deodorant you use, what shampoo you use and also what kind of shoes you wear. These are things that have an assigned gender even though they kind of don't either. But it is difficult en kinda weird how all of that works...😅 Butttt it are really nice shoes!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
DuranDuranfan Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Converses work great with any outfit or anyone. The best sneaker that’s unisex. Link to post Share on other sites
ElasticPlanet Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 8 hours ago, anisotrophic said: depending on your size, it can be hard-to-impossible to get cross-gender shoes in your size. I recently got hold of my most femme shoes ever... but when I ordered my usual size they turned out too big (although 'extra wide' they were officially in the women's range). And it was worse without them having laces to tighten up some of that waste space. When I tried to swap them for smaller ones they said that they don't do size-swaps for anything bought online, and as they don't stock that brand in any of their shops I couldn't pre-order replacements to pick up in person. I was allowed to return them to a shop for a refund, but I then had to wait for the smaller size to come back into stock before ordering online again! All sorted now though! Couldn't walk that far in them, but they're definitely my bestest indoor shoes for special occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
KoiFishShoes Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 I get absolutely giddy when I wear masculine dress shoes. Currently in love with Tomboy Toes. Link to post Share on other sites
Yoruka Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 19 hours ago, AceEline said: Butttt it are really nice shoes!!!!!!!!! Agreed. They look awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
PoeciMeta Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Haha ^^ Congrats, they do look good! I have mostly neutral shoes myself (some marketed as male, some as female, some as neutral, but they all look neutral enough). I think my view of clothes is influenced by how I was able to have some from both sides since childhood, and came to never think twice of to whom they were marketed. I feel lucky in that way. Sometimes though, I think the action of buying clothes in the women's aisle creates some dysphoria; but once I've 'adopted' them, they're no longer ''women's'', they're mine. And they're just clothes in the end. I hope that makes sense ^^' Thus, I understand how shopping in the other aisle can make one euphoric~ Link to post Share on other sites
DuranDuranfan Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 5:01 AM, anisotrophic said: My insight is that depending on your size, it can be hard-to-impossible to get cross-gender shoes in your size. Also I had fun with elevator shoes for a while, might go back. I fit size 6 to 6 and a half, maybe a 7 depending on the brand. That’s my women’s measurement. So if I want to get shoes in men’s, I have to look in the boys department. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Same, a while back I bought my own female shoes and later female boots. They’re don’t look fancy, but is practical with a balance and posture condition. I’m not a one for say... thin high heals, as male or female, usually just for health & safety. I need practicality even if it’s branded and sold for women. Link to post Share on other sites
PoeciMeta Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Something I guess I'd like is low heels on men's shoes, nothing to do with high heels but I think it looks cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 11, 2020 Author Share Posted January 11, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 5:01 AM, anisotrophic said: My insight is that depending on your size, it can be hard-to-impossible to get cross-gender shoes in your size. Also I had fun with elevator shoes for a while, might go back. That's an excellent point! Although I wish I didn't have such big feet, the fact that I do will make it easier for me to find the kind of shoes I'm interested in. I was intrigued to discover that, while shoes are normally proportioned a little differently depending on which gender they're created for, for example a narrower heel for women, Converse are unisex shoes; each pair is labeled with both a male and a female size. That sure helps to get the right size and fit! Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 11, 2020 Author Share Posted January 11, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 8:39 AM, frostboot said: Yay for switching out your wardrobe! How exciting! It can be nerve-wrecking but also a lot of fun and super freeing. I don't know if I have any insights, since there is no one way to do this. Maybe just be prepared for that the way people see you and talk to you can change quite drastically, though that doesn't have to be a bad thing! Thanks! It IS exciting to be making some actual progress in gender expression! I was hoping I would feel something special when I put them on for the first time, but perhaps because these shoes are made equally for men and women, they didn't produce any feeling beyond admiring how cool they are, and of course being pleased that I will now be seen as more cool by wearing them. It will be interesting to see how people respond as my look makes the slow transition from basic T-shirt and jeans "woman" to stylish androgyny… Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 12, 2020 Author Share Posted January 12, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 9:04 AM, AceEline said: ... Butttt it are really nice shoes!!!!!!!!! On 1/7/2020 at 9:25 AM, DuranDuranfan said: Converses work great with any outfit or anyone. The best sneaker that’s unisex. On 1/8/2020 at 4:53 AM, Yoruka said: Agreed. They look awesome. Thanks, you guys! Although I've gotta do what I've gotta do, I'm new at this, so it's good to know that people in my community see these as a good choice too! Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 12, 2020 Author Share Posted January 12, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 2:05 PM, ElasticPlanet said: I recently got hold of my most femme shoes ever... but when I ordered my usual size they turned out too big (although 'extra wide' they were officially in the women's range). And it was worse without them having laces to tighten up some of that waste space. When I tried to swap them for smaller ones they said that they don't do size-swaps for anything bought online, and as they don't stock that brand in any of their shops I couldn't pre-order replacements to pick up in person. I was allowed to return them to a shop for a refund, but I then had to wait for the smaller size to come back into stock before ordering online again! All sorted now though! Couldn't walk that far in them, but they're definitely my bestest indoor shoes for special occasions. That's some pretty terrible customer service from that company! I'm glad you finally got the shoes that you wanted! How did you feel when you put them on, when you broke a little bit of new ground… Was it exciting? Link to post Share on other sites
ElasticPlanet Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 2 hours ago, Dawning said: How did you feel when you put them on, when you broke a little bit of new ground… Was it exciting? Not sure excitement is the word... but whe whole thing was reassuringly... right. Apart from having to walk more carefully because they aren't attached top your feet as securely as shoes with laces! I'm planning to make them last by saving them for nice occasions only. And if I have a lot of walking to get there, take them with me and change when I arrive. Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 10:58 PM, KoiFishShoes said: I get absolutely giddy when I wear masculine dress shoes. Currently in love with Tomboy Toes. https://www.tomboytoes.com/products/the-falconers-in-peregrine-brown Great website, thanks, they've got some really cool stuff! I've been obsessed with wingtips for years, but I don't have a pair yet; it's going to happen, though! What was the first pair you got? How did that happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 15, 2020 Author Share Posted January 15, 2020 On 1/8/2020 at 7:09 AM, PoeciMeta said: Haha ^^ Congrats, they do look good! I have mostly neutral shoes myself (some marketed as male, some as female, some as neutral, but they all look neutral enough). I think my view of clothes is influenced by how I was able to have some from both sides since childhood, and came to never think twice of to whom they were marketed. I feel lucky in that way. Sometimes though, I think the action of buying clothes in the women's aisle creates some dysphoria; but once I've 'adopted' them, they're no longer ''women's'', they're mine. And they're just clothes in the end. I hope that makes sense ^^' Thus, I understand how shopping in the other aisle can make one euphoric~ Thanks! I've always been pretty indifferent to shoes, but now I'm seeing them as a way to suggest gender even with the very simple outfits that I wear. I've got mostly T-shirts, from thrift stores and eBay, and I don't even know which gender they were originally made for; I never cared before, and I certainly don't now. I can definitely see the potential for euphoria as I'm finally getting around to getting something that actively appeals to me! My feet are so big that they don't look attractive even in women's shoes that I like, but so far they look great in shoes originally designed for men! Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 On 1/8/2020 at 8:59 AM, Janus DarkFox said: Same, a while back I bought my own female shoes and later female boots. They’re don’t look fancy, but is practical with a balance and posture condition. I’m not a one for say... thin high heals, as male or female, usually just for health & safety. I need practicality even if it’s branded and sold for women. Did anybody notice your new footgear, or treat you any differently when you wore them? Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 11 hours ago, Dawning said: Did anybody notice your new footgear, or treat you any differently when you wore them? Nope, despite being women branded, they don't look out of the ordinary on a man or woman. More function and safety than style. Same for pretty much every clothing I wear out, all feminine women branded clothing and sizes, nobody bats an eye as it's not totally out of the ordinary. Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 18, 2020 Author Share Posted January 18, 2020 On 1/8/2020 at 11:36 AM, PoeciMeta said: Something I guess I'd like is low heels on men's shoes, nothing to do with high heels but I think it looks cool. I'm with you there! Most kinds of boots have a low heel... Are you not a boots person? Or how about something like this: Link to post Share on other sites
PoeciMeta Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 4 hours ago, Dawning said: I'm with you there! Most kinds of boots have a low heel... Are you not a boots person? Or how about something like this: Yeah, that's nice! I do like boots, too! Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 19, 2020 Author Share Posted January 19, 2020 On 1/12/2020 at 3:33 AM, ElasticPlanet said: Not sure excitement is the word... but the whole thing was reassuringly... right. Apart from having to walk more carefully because they aren't attached top your feet as securely as shoes with laces! I'm planning to make them last by saving them for nice occasions only. And if I have a lot of walking to get there, take them with me and change when I arrive. That feeling of rightness is an amazing thing, one I never ever expected to feel myself! I've always been very careful with my nicest things; you just can't get quality like there used to be anymore, and you only have a certain amount of time to wear something before it breaks down or starts to look shabby. Especially when it's hard to get just the right thing to wear, I would say protect it every possible moment, because it would be so hard to replace! Believe me, I'll only be wearing my Converse shoes where my image would be important; they won't be wasted at Walmart or the grocery store! Link to post Share on other sites
KoiFishShoes Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 On 1/13/2020 at 3:44 AM, Dawning said: https://www.tomboytoes.com/products/the-falconers-in-peregrine-brown Great website, thanks, they've got some really cool stuff! I've been obsessed with wingtips for years, but I don't have a pair yet; it's going to happen, though! What was the first pair you got? How did that happen? I bought the Downtown Dappers in light brown and wear them with jeans and sweaters or blouses depending on how I'm feeling. My grandparents still give me Christmas money, which I love them for, and I used it to buy both these and the black Converse sneakers I've been pining to get for years. Link to post Share on other sites
Strange-quark Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 @Dawning That's great! I hate shopping, especially for shoes, so atm I use my mum's old boots... they're technically women's, but something like two sizes too large (I have small feet), which somehow makes them look very masc. I like it and how they fit my style (or the resemblance thereof ). Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted January 24, 2020 Author Share Posted January 24, 2020 On 1/16/2020 at 1:19 PM, Janus DarkFox said: Nope, despite being women branded, they don't look out of the ordinary on a man or woman. More function and safety than style. Same for pretty much every clothing I wear out, all feminine women branded clothing and sizes, nobody bats an eye as it's not totally out of the ordinary. Is this your chosen endpoint, or are you planning to expand from there? In other words, are you planning to ever move on to stuff that IS out of the ordinary, so that it'll be noticeable that you're wearing stuff from "the other gender"? I'm not saying that you SHOULD, I'm just curious as to how other people are handling this. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 6 hours ago, Dawning said: Is this your chosen endpoint, or are you planning to expand from there? In other words, are you planning to ever move on to stuff that IS out of the ordinary, so that it'll be noticeable that you're wearing stuff from "the other gender"? I'm not saying that you SHOULD, I'm just curious as to how other people are handling this. At some point in my transition I’ll move on from this to more regular women’s clothing. The same clothing at home I’ll see to it if I can do out in public. Link to post Share on other sites
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