Sexual Orientation: I need help finding what mine is.

[Juju2702]

Hello, I've been trying to discover my sexual identity for some time now. It's very confusing and I am lost trying to find something to identify as.

I feel sexual attraction to people (any gender), I love holding hands, cuddling and kissing but when it comes to sex I hate it. I have had many sexual encounters in my past, but I realise now that I did not feel anything from them. It's like my body doesn't feel what it should be feeling, no pleasure I just find it awkward and want it to be over. Even in a long term relationship, where I loved my partner, trusted him and felt comfortable around him: sex was just something I could not bring myself to do even if I was horny. Also its not just with sex, it's with people touching me as well. I am comfortable with my body, but I feel so UNcomfortable thinking of myself in a sexual situation. 
 

From internet research I know i'm not Asexual, as I feel attracted to people, find people sexy and want to fuck them. In my imagination I like sex, i have sexual dreams but in person its something my body can't do. I'm not Demisexual because it doesn't matter about being close to someone, because when I am I still can't do it. 
 

If anyone relates, or has any advice for me please help. I'm really worried that i'm not going to be able to get in a relationship again, my boyfriend broke up with me and it was a big problem for him in the relationship. I don't wanna be scared to talk to someone because of this. 

 

happy to answer any questions  Thank you

[Writer In The Forest]

Hey-o! Okay, here I am with a bunch of terms that may or may not help.

 

You could be sex-repulsed (technical term I believe is apothisexual/romantic)

 

You could also be touch-repulsed, and I don't know much about this one, you'd be better off talking to some of the touch-repulsed people here on AVEN if you want more info.

 

There's a lot of orientations that have to do with multiple genders so here's a list of some:

 

Bisexual/romantic- experiences attraction to two or more genders or both sexes

 

Pansexual/romantic- experiences attraction to all genders

 

Polysexual/romantic- feels attraction to several, but not necessarily all, genders (this is the one I felt most comfortable with since it's rather open-ended. it's like... the grey area between bi- and pan-)

 

Abrosexual/romantic- fluctuates between different sexualities

 

There's obviously a bunch more and there's some great resources about them with lists and definitions and such on this site if you poke around. I hope I helped, even if it was just a little. And don't be scared. You're an amazing human being and it takes guts to open yourself up like this  

[Juju2702]

Thank you for your response :). I don't think i'm touch repulsed because I love being touched, super clingy in that sense. In a relationship would always want to cuddle, hold hands and be in a embrace of someone else. Its just the sex I can't do ahah. I'm quite dominant in everything but when it comes to be sexual i shy away, and become submissive but I don't really want to be "submissive", i want to be in control.

[Writer In The Forest]

No problem! Sorry I couldn't help more, I may know terms but I'm the last person to ask about things pertaining to specifically to sex and sexual activity. I... more avoid that type of thing in any and all forms. *rubs back of neck awkwardly* (sorry)