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Hello? Am i not alone?


Rainy Summer

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Rainy Summer

Hi.

I don't know exactly what to say here, so I'll tell my story.

 

I'm 18 yo and always dreamed about the perfect relationship and always considered myself as heterosexual. I used to have crushes on people aroud me, just like my friends, and it was ok. But when you grow up, people start really getting involved with other people and i thought i could do the same, but soon i realized i was definitely not like them.

 

I felt in love so much times in my life with so much amazing people, but when this feeling was mutual, I started to panic. The idea of sex, or even the idea of a kiss were terrifying for me. I let some loved and amazing people down by not knowing what was going on with me and i allways felt i was the biggest asshole in the world because of that.

 

For years i thought there was something wrong with me. I thought i was all wrong. I had already heard about asexuality, but it was so distant and kind a joke around my friends, so i just never considered the idea.

 

Then one day a friend send me a post on instagram about aceweek, explaining what it was actually all about. So i had a mental explosion. I think i have never felt so much relief. I almost cried that day. To have a name to call "my problem" and to know that there are other people feeling the same is indescribable. Unfortunately, i never met anyone who i could talk about, so i'm here, hoping to find other people like me to finally talk about it and learn more and more about myself and others.

 

Im still figuring out where i fit in this hole new place called asexuality, but I'm already delighted about all this.

 

Sorry about my english, i'm not a native speaker.

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Rainy Summer
27 minutes ago, OptimisticPessimist said:

Welcome :cake::cake::cake:

 

You certainly aren't alone. There's nothing wrong with you and Asexuality isn't a problem. I understand the relief of realisng all that and finding a community who understand. Take your time and if you have any questions, feel free to ask :). Could i ask which other languages do you speak?

Omg, now I certainly don't now how to answer it. I new i was looking for someone to talk anything about it, but i didin't realize i needed it so badly until i read your answer. Now i feel welcomed like never before. Thank you SO much for this. Sorry if i seemed i little desperate now 😅. I speak portuguese (i'm brazilian).

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Writer In The Forest

Welcome! I'm so glad you found this site, the people here are amazing. I know I'm not as knowledgeable, as experienced, or as prominent a figure as @OptimisticPessimist and other people on here, but know I'm here if you just want someone to talk to. 

 

And I don't know if this'll be helpful or not, but there's an orientation I stumbled across during my own "mental explosion" (as you so aptly put it) while I was trying to figure myself out. Its prefix is Akoi- or Lith- and it refers to people who experience attraction but don't wish for it to be reciprocated.

 

This may or may not apply to you, and that's fine. There's a lot of different orientations and terms out there, but you don't even have to choose a label if you don't want to. This is just my little way of trying to help. The number of words out there can be overwhelming. Take your time until you find the right one for you (or, as previously stated, don't). It's up to you is all I'm trying to say. 

 

Ugh, I'm rambling, sorry. The point of all this is, I'm here and so is everyone else. No one's really alone. Feel free to get in touch with me, it's always great to make new friends! =D 

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Phantasmal Fingers

🙂 👋

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AceMissBehaving

You are in very good company. Welcome to the forums!🎂

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Welcome! Don’t apologise for your English, yours is better than mine and I’m from England :P

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