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Firefly8

Bustle Magazine article on the word "queer" for LGBTQ+

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Firefly8

 

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Queer has come to be an umbrella term for LGBTQ+ folks all across the spectrum of gender and sexual minorities," Canonico tells Bustle. Asexuality, non-binary identities, being intersex, demisexuality, and more all have a place within the LGBTQ community, and "queer" can be a way to speak to all these identities without leaving anyone off of the acronym.


https://www.bustle.com/articles/175470-what-does-queer-mean-5-things-to-know-about-the-q-in-lgbtq

 

The article is dated as "updated: 11/4/2019"

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Nowhere Girl

I hate listicles.

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Linda60

That's good news.  I believe asexuals fit under the queer umbrella.  Some LGBTQ+ people disagree and I'm not sure why.  Maybe they doubt that we have experienced the same level of emotional pain that they have.  I don't think that's true.  We haven't experienced violence at the same levels they have.  Before I discovered asexuality my life was an on-going effort to treat myself and try harder.  No one (except my father, who recognized that I was different, and that that was a gift) ever suggested that I was a mature, healthy human being, I simply could not fit into the sexual world.  My two marriages were heroic efforts on my part to try to be sexual.  A bad marriage is a lonely place to be and I wonder if the institution of marriage is toxic for asexuals.   Gays and lesbians can relate to feeling left out, like a freak, apologetic for being who they are.  That's the experience of the asexual too.  It's still difficult to "come out" for many in the LGBTQ community.  It is also for the asexual community.  In a perfect world, I would be "out" everywhere, all the time.  But it's not a perfect world.   I don't look forward to spending hours explaining what asexuality is to my family.  I think, deep in their minds, they already know.  Because if there is such a thing as being "very asexual," that would be me.  I also don't want the looks of pity that I anticipate.  Asexuality is not a pathetic state.  Trying extremely hard to be sexual when you're not is.   I can think of many words that describe me:  mother, engineer, woman, Floridian, reader, introvert, baby boomer.  No one word captures my life better than the word queer.

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Galactic Turtle

I personally do not want to be referred to as queer but to each their own!

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LeChat
1 hour ago, Linda60 said:

...I believe asexuals fit under the queer umbrella.  Some LGBTQ+ people disagree and I'm not sure why.  Maybe they doubt that we have experienced the same level of emotional pain that they have.  I don't think that's true.  We haven't experienced violence at the same levels they have...

Do you mean physical and/or sexual assault? Some asexuals have experienced those things (mentioned in the Intersectionality Forum). It's just that some of us, perhaps, don't constantly mention what we go through/went through because we don't want those events to define us and want to move on from that, try to focus more on improving our lives/being happy/helping others, etc.

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Linda60

I really don't know how much violence has been a part of asexuals lives.  I've never been brutally attacked.  Transgender people are targeted, even killed.  My son was violently assaulted in high school for being gay.  (He's not gay but he has Asperger's syndrome so he's different.)  My own past includes many sexual partners when I tried desperately to prove to the world, and myself, that I was sexual.  Some of these people were extremely cruel to me but did not attack.  Once I had sex with someone and he threw a large, heavy couch cushion at my head and it slammed my head into the side of a wooden piece of furniture.  My crime?  He said I had not "shared myself" in our "lovemaking."  I have numerous incidents where I was shamed, screamed at, divorced, rejected, belittled, excluded, but not brutally attacked.  I think it's good to move on from trauma and focus on living your life but sometimes doing that means sharing that trauma with others.  I'd like to hear about other asexuals history of violence if they want to share.

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Duke Memphis

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable having that term used to describe me. Even with my split attraction, I simply label myself as an ace. I'm still indifferent to whether or not we're in the alphabet soup at all.

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Firefly8
On 1/8/2020 at 8:23 AM, Duke Memphis said:

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable having that term used to describe me. Even with my split attraction, I simply label myself as an ace. I'm still indifferent to whether or not we're in the alphabet soup at all.

Ok. I feel that I am and am happy so many letters are included. You do you and let others be.

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SithEmpress

I'm happy there's a generalized, umbrella term for members of the GRSM community. I would hesitate to use it myself because I feel I so solidly fit into "ace" that there's no reason to use a different label. But I totally understand why others prefer to use it and more power to them. 

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