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Anyone hates oral sex?


HufflepuffRose

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HufflepuffRose

I have a new relationship and my boyfriend is allo. I thought I will give it a try. (My boyfriend is very understanding but I can see it's hard for him.) I had sex/oral sex before, never liked it. But now I reached a point that I just can't do it anymore. I don't have a better word for it I hate it. I feel really bad both giving and receiving it.

 

I read a lot of posts here and most of the people say they don't like sex but oral is okay. I'm just curious if there are humans like me. I feel a little bit alone 'cause I don't know anyone who has problem with this.

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Lord Jade Cross

Actually plenty of people arent into oral sex and if it causes problems with the relationship barely starting out, in the long run, it will only get worse. 

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I hate any form of sex. But oral is especially nasty...

11 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Actually plenty of people arent into oral sex and if it causes problems with the relationship barely starting out, in the long run, it will only get worse. 

^This.

 

Haave you already talked to your boyfriend about how you feel? I'm sure you two can come to an agreement.

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RoseGoesToYale

There are entire hordes of threads on Reddit written by users who hate oral, so you're not alone.

 

Definitely talk to him. It's not fair to you (or him) to make yourself do something you really don't want to.

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Janus the Fox

Tried it with the bf, not into oral sex at all.  Otherwise I can RP/write about it without repulsion.

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WanderingKate

Interestingly enough, as an asexual, oral was pretty much the only kind of sexual activity that I could "put up with" as PIV was repulsive to me. But I have a sexual friend who is very attracted to her boyfriend but absolutely cannot stand giving oral. She finds it gross, and she is definitely heterosexual. If I were you I would definitely just be honest with your boyfriend about your repulsion- as others have suggested, it will only become more of an issue trying to fake interest in it as time goes on. Doesn't necessarily mean that you can't compromise or explore other kinds of sex- you may not like oral but could end up enjoying manual/mutual masturbation, etc. 

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everywhere and nowhere
17 minutes ago, CBC said:

I was in a past relationship that wasn't the right match at all and I absolutely hated receiving. It made me feel creepy and gross.

I'm very much sex-averse and nudity-averse, have fortunately never had sex, but I can say that:

- the idea of giving feels fairly disgusting, but not that horrible;

- but the idea of receiving is much worse. The idea of being in such a situation gives me panic symptoms for a while. Because of my nudity aversion - the idea of having my intimate parts exposed for another person, even in darkness, is just terrifying.

However, it's neither disgusting nor terrifying when imagined in third person. It's just a sharp divide: imagined someone else's sex can be amazing. Sex with my own participation is something which has no right to exist - I will never allow it - and I just can't have any positive feelings towards such an idea.

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This is one of the sex related things that I’ve heard about that repulses me the most (doesn’t matter the gender, just a mouth being near either reproductive organ grosses me out). Weirdly enough, this was the only sexual act (which can not lead to pregnancy) that was mentioned in my psych textbook last year and it specifically mentioned that it was considered one of the “safest” things to do.. 🤮🤮🤮

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I actually think of it as LESS intimate, not face to face and all. I hate it. I can't actually believe that people like doing this stuff. Seriously, is it a joke or something? Or were they secretly hired to do that stuff? Kind of joking, kind of not.

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Name any sexual technique and you'll find people of all shapes and sizes who like it and others who don't.

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HufflepuffRose
15 hours ago, MiffKeks said:

Haave you already talked to your boyfriend about how you feel? I'm sure you two can come to an agreement.

Yes. I talked to him and he said he won't ask for it again if it's bad for me.

I know its hard for him so we will figure out something

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16 hours ago, HufflepuffRose said:

I read a lot of posts here and most of the people say they don't like sex but oral is okay. I'm just curious if there are humans like me. I feel a little bit alone 'cause I don't know anyone who has problem with this.

Not 100% the same but I haaaate receiving it. Just, no, I like nothing about receiving it. I do have a fetish for giving it though, just not to the extent I have any desire to seek out a partner to have it with.

 

3 hours ago, Balance said:

I can't actually believe that people like doing this stuff. Seriously, is it a joke or something? Or were they secretly hired to do that stuff? Kind of joking, kind of not.

I have a fetish for giving it, so we definitely exist. :)

 

11 minutes ago, HufflepuffRose said:

Yes. I talked to him and he said he won't ask for it again if it's bad for me.

I know its hard for him so we will figure out something

That's good that he was understanding. I hope you two can work something out. :cake:

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29 minutes ago, CBC said:

@Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) Out of curiosity, what makes you call it a fetish rather than saying you enjoy it? I uh, really like both giving and receiving, but I wouldn't think of using the word 'fetish'.

 

I replied in the TMI Cofessions Thread because it's not suitable (even spoilered) in this particular thread I don't think!! :3

 

 

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To me, oral sex is 🤮 which apparantly makes me the other way around to many people on here. I find it more repulsive than PiV sex, though I don't find that attractive either. The weird thing is that I'm not generally sex repulsed. I just don't find the act (done to me or doing to someone) attractive to do with someone if that makes sense.

You're definitely not alone and I bet there are quite a few people who don't like it. I wonder what the ratio given/receiving - afab/amab is for those who don't like oral sex.

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I've never tried, but I'd say oral would be more likely for me than PIV, although I can't see either happening 

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I had a girl try it on me when I was younger. But hard time getting excited and it was just awkward, and kind of repulsive to me. I don't know why guys like it or people like giving it. 

But each to their own.

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8 hours ago, Chef Remy said:

I had a girl try it on me when I was younger. But hard time getting excited and it was just awkward, and kind of repulsive to me. I don't know why guys like it or people like giving it. 

But each to their own.

I'd have thought a "hard time" was a positive advantage 😋😋

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Whore*of*Mensa

I never liked it. Before I realised I was asexual and supposed to apologise to sexuals for my mere existence I just used to say ‘I don’t like that’ and people used to say ‘ok then’, and stay or move along as it suited..

 

But yeah, from reactions I got I don’t think it’s completely unusual for people not to like it, and your partner sounds understanding. 

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Whore*of*Mensa
8 minutes ago, CBC said:

That seems like a completely reasonable way to handle it regardless of whether you're asexual or not. Nothing to apologise for in regards to your existence, imo... 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ve been reading too much I think. No, never been one to apologise for not liking sex, in the past...!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not trying to be rude or anything, to those who actually enjoy oral sex, but to me seems awfully disgusting putting your mouth in an area that well you know things that end up in the toilet bowl comes out from. 

I guess people do clean them selves but still. it may sounds childish but ick! 

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I can hardly stand a dentist's hands in my mouth, why would I ever want to...? lol I think it's totally reasonable not to want to give or receive oral sex, but especially as an asexual. I get a little annoyed when I hear people talk about sex as only PIV sex, like these other sex acts aren't actual sex. I've read about aces who desire several acts of sex, basically all but PIV and claiming to be ace because of this - that doesn't make sense to me.

 

Anyway, as many have said, even a lot of sexual people don't enjoy it, don't feel guilty for it and please don't feel like you have to do anything you're not comfortable with!

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Were one in the same. Oral sex is just as unappealing as normal sex. I couldnt bear to have a girl do that to me, i feel its demeaning and humiliating. Same applies to a guy in any case.

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3 hours ago, CBC said:

Yeah that's because it doesn't make sense, full stop. It's still sex because sex isn't just PiV. There's no penis involved in any sex I've had in recent times because my partner and I are both women, but if someone said, "Well then you've not had sex!" I'd burst out laughing. What is it, then? Cuddling? All just foreplay? That would be ridiculous.

right? it's a very heteronormative point of view and would open a whole lot of creepy can of worms. would only PIV rape count as rape then? I guess these people don't think about that, only about how they want to fit into the ace label - for whatever weird reason. it's astounding how much in denial people can be.

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1 hour ago, elsuzu said:

I guess these people don't think about that, only about how they want to fit into the ace label - for whatever weird reason.

Yeah one person here recently was saying they're ace because they want other people to masturbate them, but don't like PiV (which is the only 'real sex', according to them). This person said they even go on Tinder etc just to find people to masturbate them (like, using fingers etc) and if the other person couldn't sexually satisfy them they'd dump them instantly and find someone else. This person got really vocal here for a while and kept making threads about how we were all gatekeeping etc when we said stuff like "well... that's still sex and what you're talking about is perfectly normal behaviour for some sexuals" (because it's a minority that's quite that heartless about it!!!).. Oh man this person was so angry at as all Y_Y

 

2 hours ago, Excyld said:

, i feel its demeaning and humiliating

Yeah I can see how some would feel that way about it. Sometimes people don't want to do it but the other person kind of expects it or whatever, and in those cases it's just sad for everyone involved.

 

I don't ever want to receive it again but I have sort of the same feelings as you for the opposite reason; I'll feel really guilty and ashamed (and like I'm not good enough) if my partner wants and desires to do it to me... Because I can't enjoy it and I hate receiving it. Blergh.

 

That's why communication is so important *before* entering a relationship!! I'm terrified of ending up with someone who wants things I can't give, and doesn't enjoy the things I desire Y_Y nuuuu.

 

 

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I hate when people think that  as a guy I would love it(Oral-*ex).   I think it  is something  that belong between two people who the hell cares why  they  do or dont do :/  Those are my two cents. 

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27 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Yeah one person here recently was saying they're ace because they want other people to masturbate them, but don't like PiV (which is the only 'real sex', according to them). This person said they even go on Tinder etc just to find people to masturbate them (like, using fingers etc) and if the other person couldn't sexually satisfy them they'd dump them instantly and find someone else. This person got really vocal here for a while and kept making threads about how we were all gatekeeping etc when we said stuff like "well... that's still sex and what you're talking about is perfectly normal behaviour for some sexuals" (because it's a minority that's quite that heartless about it!!!).. Oh man this person was so angry at as all Y_Y

geez, I really don't understand why anyone would want to be ace if they're not lol it's probably a sad reason, they maybe don't feel like they belong in the "normal" world so they try to feel like they belong to a minority. but they're too self-involved to realize that they alienate the people they want to belong with by being so different, I guess.

 

I've heard many people cry about gatekeeping and how bad it is and I just don't agree. I think it's so important to do it, because the next young ace person who joins a group full of "asexuals" that enjoy sex, desire it and are in fact sexuals, will be really put off by them and think that he or she doesn't belong. I say let's gatekeep as good as we can so we can protect the actual asexuals :) I mean, no one would call it gatekeeping or invalidating or whatever when a group of homosexual men wouldn't include lesbians or hetero women or hetero men that claim to be gay but just aren't, why should the ace-community be welcoming non-aces who claim the label?

rant over, sorry, but it just annoys me

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