Is being naive a trait to qualify someone as a good person?

[Birlow17]

You ever see those people who are sometimes labeled naïve because they approach strangers in a friendly manner instead of a cautious one? Though it is dangerous and they should be wary of people. I tend to look on the other side of things and view that person as being a good person. They truly believe that everyone is good and choose to see the best in people? Typically I notice it's extroverted types as well.

 

I'm introverted functioning and based on my mbti I have cynic tendencies and am less trusting of people. My nature as a person is to warm up slowly to people as I get to know them. I am not someone who will trust right away. Now some people can say that in this situation I'm a realist. I'm aware of the evils in this world and because of that I assume people have ulterior motives and facades. 

 

Sometimes because of this though I don't feel like a good person. I admire the fact that some people are naturally friendly and can see the best in someone. Because in some way how you view the world is a reflection of your heart right? If I view the world as being a bad place it makes me feel bad myself as if my view is a reflection of my heart as well.  I was thinking of a conversation I had with someone one time. I was talking about how I don't feel like a good person sometimes because of my intuition and awareness. This awareness has brought me into feeling neutral in the conversation of being a good person.

 

For example, this happened when I was younger but I still remember it clearly. There was a new person who I will call A who had joined my friend group. And though A didn't do anything wrong I just felt something off about them. As if they were too charismatic to be true? That under that nice façade there was a really rotten person. I just got bad vibes from them like they were hiding something. I shared this suspicion with my friends and they told me that A was a good person and that something was wrong with me. I'm a very intuitive person so sometimes I can't tell if I'm being cynical or can just really feel something.   It was revealed later that A was manipulative and just a downright bad person. Though I felt happy that my intuition was correct, there was a part in me that was kind of disgusted with myself. I remember thinking why couldn't I be like my friends who didn't see anything wrong with A? Why do I have to be the one to see that in people? At the time I wished I didn't have that ability because it made me feel like I wasn't a good person. 

 

So my philosophical question: Is being naïve a trait to qualify someone as a good person? And is someone less of a good person for not holding the same trusting view of people? 

 

 

[RoseGoesToYale]

I think the answer to the question depends on how we're defining "good". That could vary quite a bit depending on what moral system you're pulling from, if any. If we're operating on the assumption that good = immediately trusting of others, then I don't think there are very many good people on this earth anymore because they will have been duped by thieves and murderers.

 

It's pretty normal to pass judgement and feel a lack of trust for strangers as part of our survival instinct. But there are a number of factors which may indicate to us that certain people may be more trustworthy than others, e.g. familiar language, forms of dress, gestures of non-violent intention (like smiling or saying hello), or just the impression they give off. But still, these things could be a guise for someone with bad intentions, and odds are the more times a person has been duped by someone exhibiting trustworthy signals but carrying out bad intentions, that person is going to trust those signals less and less.

 

It also depends on how we're defining naïveté. If we say naïve = one who approaches strangers in a friendly matter, by the definition "showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment", we're saying this person readily walks up strangers without critically thinking about the stranger at all. Not all extroverts are naïve, and might be approaching the stranger after examining factors to determine whether they should approach them.

 

Say you've got an introvert and an extrovert walking down the same street at night. Both pass by a dimly lit alley. In this alley there's someone standing under the light. Their head is hooded and tilted down. Their clothes are dirty, their hands scuffed with cuts on them, and there's a noticeably large object in their pocket. What are the odds the introvert or the extrovert will approach this person and start talking to them? Probably pretty slim. This is not an indicator of goodness or lack thereof, rather the survival instinct kicking in. Without it, more of us would be dead.

[SithLord]

1 hour ago, Birlow17 said:

Is being naïve a trait to qualify someone as a good person?

I would say no, but also in the way that it's not a trait for a "bad person" either, just a trait that can belong to either good or bad people. A racist can be naive about how people of their hated race actually are. I'm naive about a lot of things, but that doesn't mean anything in regards to if I am good or bad because I do not know about those things.

 

1 hour ago, Birlow17 said:

And is someone less of a good person for not holding the same trusting view of people? 

You're not a bad person for being trusting, but you're not necessarily a good person either. Trusting can be good or bad. Trusting that biker with an arm full of tattoos, face full of piercings, can be considered naive but whether that scary biker betrays that trust or not isn't something the naive person could have determined by being naive. A less naive person could judge the scary person and make a judgement on whether to trust them or not (in ways like "I know martial arts, we're going to be in a public place, I'm safe and if they're dangerous it won't be that bad" or "My friends are bikers, I know that person, they're not bad" etc etc) and it doesn't make them any less of a good person to be able to think about threats and dangers. There is a point where being naive is dangerous, not "good".

[Yuliyasa]

  Well, also what about people whose occupations just require them to be friendly to almost everybody? I am sure not all service people, musicians and so on and so on are naïve regardless of how friendly they might appear. I've also myself however had become more and more intuitive the last few years. It seems like I am reading people's energies even without intending to and I guess to some people this might seem nuts, but a lot of the times that initial instinct about people is correct. I wish I could always trust my instincts about people, but sadly I had faced some doubts because I had so many people in my life always brainwash me with saying things like "it don't matter what the person says or how they speak and all that matters is their actions". So really I am sad to say that I started to doubt myself like if I get this really bad feelings about somebody all the time, but their actions towards me are always so good I started to feel guilty about why is that something just always feels so off you know. And so I was kind of happy to read this post here because I can relate to it so much and perhaps I am being selfish about instead going on and on about how something has happened in my life right at the time when I started to feel like my intuition is close to 100% correct when it comes to people and all of a sudden I experience a person who seems to be doing all the right things, tries to be good to me, but something always just keeps feeling so wrong. Like anytime this person's around and after interacting with them this feeling of low energy and all of a sudden a mood shift, silly signs (that perhaps no one should pay attention to even) like the light bulb above their head going off or my cat meowing at them, looking as if they just stepped on them.  I just keep thinking that maybe they just don't speak highly of anyone behind their backs not even me and maybe that could be why it feels so off with them, that no matter how nice they might be to you face to face, they are just not saying good things about you when you're not around so maybe that's the reason why their energy feels so dark. Yet, the darker part of my thinking of course is going off into thinking about all the things that might be hidden from me and I just don't know and never will know for sure, but that perhaps for my safety I should keep this person at a distance. Sometimes when I think about all this I also wonder if maybe I am not such a good person for thinking this. Yet then I also realize well nobody else' s energy felt like that before. I tried not to overthink this, but because of so many strange things that have happened I can't help but see that it is this person who doesn't want me to think this way about them. I guess they say that some people just have such strong convincing power that perhaps this person can almost try to make me think whatever they want and maybe that is what's so dark about them. Anyways, I tend to have good reads about energy on people who tend to be more free spirited and laid back cause they generally don't want anything from you so therefore they're not hiding any intentions of any sort. I didn't really mean to make my reply so long. But here it is. My genuine thoughts on trusting people here. I guess to conclude this presents this question, what about the people who think that they have earned your trust? (what if you see that something's still off) What if when they tell you this themselves that its about time you trust them, you find it worrisome like as if there's something you have no idea or any clue about and you wish that you could just know.

[appleseedy]

being friendly and approachable is not the same as naivety in just the same way as discernment is not judgement

[- Saph -]

Being naive is often dangerous for your own safety so I don't think that it is an asset. Unfortunately being the bearer of bad news is not always seen positively either even if you are very honest and warn the others. I think that it is a bad attitude to take it out on the people who have their eyes open while they just live without a care.

 

You can also feel that something is bad but still decide not to be judgemental and act friendly. Suspicious people can do good things as well sometimes. Trust can be an option as long as you can manage the risk. The lines are quite blurry here to limit the danger zones/the hypocrite behaviour...

[Homer]

There's naive and there's idealistic. Also you can be a naive scumbag. (General you, obvs)

[Karst]

I'd argue that being excessively naive is a bad quality.  I see it as a type of ignorance.

[Birlow17]

On 1/4/2020 at 12:39 AM, RoseGoesToYale said:

This is not an indicator of goodness or lack thereof,

This stood out to me. I like this and seeing it that way I agree. I guess they can be inter mixed and mistaken. Choosing to see past those red flags is a more conscious decision than not thinking and approaching a stranger. One is conscious open mindedness and the other is straight naivetes. Thanks for your answer

[Birlow17]

On 1/4/2020 at 4:32 AM, appleseedy said:

being friendly and approachable is not the same as naivety in just the same way as discernment is not judgement

100% Thank you

[Birlow17]

On 1/4/2020 at 5:43 AM, Saphoune said:

Unfortunately being the bearer of bad news is not always seen positively either

It sucks. But I do agree with you about keeping quiet until its confirmed kind of thing. You want to give people a warning heads up and then end up looking like a jerk

[Birlow17]

On 1/5/2020 at 6:54 PM, Iridium said:

I'd argue that being excessively naive is a bad quality.  I see it as a type of ignorance.

For some situations I do. I guess I was confusing open mindedness with naivete as well. Some people approach dangerous looking people with such ease it makes me think wow you're a good person. When in reality if they didn't spot those red flags I would view it as ignorance. It's only different if they are consciously aware of the red flags and pursue regardless of their appearance.

[uhtred]

Depending on the circumstances, approaching strangers in a friendly way can be safe.   

[Karst]

22 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Depending on the circumstances, approaching strangers in a friendly way can be safe.   

Sometimes, though, you have the dilemma of whether to appear rude or take the risk of possibly ending up in a dangerous interaction.  Obviously, it's not polite to ignore people, cross the street to avoid someone, or that sort of thing, but it's much worse to approach someone who turns out to be genuinely dangerous.

[uhtred]

1 hour ago, Iridium said:

Sometimes, though, you have the dilemma of whether to appear rude or take the risk of possibly ending up in a dangerous interaction.  Obviously, it's not polite to ignore people, cross the street to avoid someone, or that sort of thing, but it's much worse to approach someone who turns out to be genuinely dangerous.

Completely agree.  While there are situations where its safe to talk to strangers, in others it is not. 

 

The other side of this is that in some situations starting a friendly conversation is fine, in others it could easily be interpreted as potentially threatening. 

 

 

[what the face]

On 1/4/2020 at 12:15 AM, Birlow17 said:

people who are sometimes labeled naïve because they approach strangers in a friendly manner

 

On 1/4/2020 at 12:15 AM, Birlow17 said:

Sometimes because of this though I don't feel like a good person.

I've come around to considering

this facet of ourselves to be both the innocent (nai've) and the sage as

a paradox.

 

The Innocent, "beginner's mind" unhampered by our socially learned filters and blinders, uncorrupted

        can possess a playful acceptance and wisdom,  'from the mouth of babes".

 

The sage might be joyous and serene or goofy and insightful helping us lighten up and live beyond conventional rules and norms.

        with that twinkle in their eye.

 

Perhaps, (gently)  your feeling like not a good person is a signal to consider/explore this paradox?

 

 

 

 

[suckmeoff]

On 1/4/2020 at 12:15 AM, Birlow17 said:

You ever see those people who are sometimes labeled naïve because they approach strangers in a friendly manner instead of a cautious one? Though it is dangerous and they should be wary of people. I tend to look on the other side of things and view that person as being a good person. They truly believe that everyone is good and choose to see the best in people? Typically I notice it's extroverted types as well.

 

I'm introverted functioning and based on my mbti I have cynic tendencies and am less trusting of people. My nature as a person is to warm up slowly to people as I get to know them. I am not someone who will trust right away. Now some people can say that in this situation I'm a realist. I'm aware of the evils in this world and because of that I assume people have ulterior motives and facades. 

 

Sometimes because of this though I don't feel like a good person. I admire the fact that some people are naturally friendly and can see the best in someone. Because in some way how you view the world is a reflection of your heart right? If I view the world as being a bad place it makes me feel bad myself as if my view is a reflection of my heart as well.  I was thinking of a conversation I had with someone one time. I was talking about how I don't feel like a good person sometimes because of my intuition and awareness. This awareness has brought me into feeling neutral in the conversation of being a good person.

 

For example, this happened when I was younger but I still remember it clearly. There was a new person who I will call A who had joined my friend group. And though A didn't do anything wrong I just felt something off about them. As if they were too charismatic to be true? That under that nice façade there was a really rotten person. I just got bad vibes from them like they were hiding something. I shared this suspicion with my friends and they told me that A was a good person and that something was wrong with me. I'm a very intuitive person so sometimes I can't tell if I'm being cynical or can just really feel something.   It was revealed later that A was manipulative and just a downright bad person. Though I felt happy that my intuition was correct, there was a part in me that was kind of disgusted with myself. I remember thinking why couldn't I be like my friends who didn't see anything wrong with A? Why do I have to be the one to see that in people? At the time I wished I didn't have that ability because it made me feel like I wasn't a good person. 

 

So my philosophical question: Is being naïve a trait to qualify someone as a good person? And is someone less of a good person for not holding the same trusting view of people? 

 

 

You cant base your intuition on the instances that you were right what about all the times you were wrong. ex. you thought someone stole something and later found it under your bed, or when you think someone is a dick not noticing that theyre dealing with a death in their family, you feel suspicious about a store employee think that if you hold a item in a certain way they might think youre stealing when they havent even noticed you. a lot of what youre saying could be summed u[ to paranoia instead of intuition.

[Iam9man]

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Iam9man

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