isora Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 new person here, hello ! I'm currently in highschool and in my first relationship with a person. It was a messy start since they didn't understand asexuality, but they've been super supportive of me and is actively trying to learn about it. We've been together for about 4 months now. I love them a lot, but the attraction between us isn't there for me anymore. Honestly, I don't think it was ever there to begin with. We both share a lot of similarities, which is what I think was "attractive" to me initially, and I blew it up to something more. They expressed an interest in me, and although I felt unsure I said yes. One of the biggest indicators I noticed was affection. My partner really likes hugging/cuddling, and I like the idea of it, but actually doing it is a different story. I'm not big on giving affection, but I try my best. However, sometimes after hugging or holding hands with them I feel,,, disgusted ? Like I'm a stranger in my own body. On some days it's bearable but most times I feel like this. It's not the same with my friends though, as I'll hold hands with them everyday and feel okay with it. I get crushes, if that's what you can even call them ? Like "this person is cool I wanna hang out more" or "this person is super cute/pretty I'd like to be friends". I like the idea of a relationship, but I'm not sure what to do now. I know they're probably more invested in this relationship than I am at this point. I don't want to hurt them or disappoint anyone, I'm just lost. Any advice would be super helpful !! Also apologies for any grammar/spelling errors ! ;; Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 I've moved this thread from "Questions about Asexuality" to "Romantic and Aromantic Orientations". Michael Tannock, Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 Welcome to AVEN! You could be Akoiromantic (used to be called Lithromantic): http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Lithromantic And your crushes sound like squishes, which are the Aromantic version of a crush. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Great Barrier Reef" cake (all edible), https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/165660-great-barrier-reef Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 I don't know how to tell if you're aromatic or not without smelling you .. 😜 (Sorry, just had to tease you for the title) I think that sometimes other feelings can get in the way of a relationship. Like if you feel pressure to be a certain way with them, then natural feelings of affection will have trouble coming up. I'd say if you enjoy holding hands with friends everyday but not with a partner, then I think there's something more going on, since a relationship can have friendship as its base sometimes. Maybe you don't have feelings for that person like you thought you might. Doesn't mean you can't have some for someone you really like. Or maybe you're aromantic (It's ok if you're aromatic too, but depends what's your fragrance) Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 it's possible you are aromantic, keep in mind however that you could simply be unattracted to this person, or perhaps something about the context of the intimacy makes you uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
BlakeTheNightowl~ Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 I think you like the idea of a relationship you’re not Aromantic Link to post Share on other sites
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