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Any Asexuals with a history of sexual/emotional abuse?


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So, I have never desired to sex anyone. I never got it when I was younger and people would go on about someone being sexy or hot. I can see if someone looks good or not of course, just not like that. This is why I identify as Ace. However, I have a history of sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. This is what made it complicated when I was deciding if I was actually Ace. I have spent years working on myself and I have made really really good progress. Just on life stuff in general. I decided to tackle the question of my sexuality with my therapist last year. After being in therapy for months and introspecting for years, the conclusion is that my sexuality was influenced by BOTH nature and nurture. Are there any Asexuals who are Asexual but also had to deal with sexual/emotional trauma? How has it been for you?

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Hello! I think it can be difficult to arrive at a conclusive causal conclusion with regard to this. I think the "conclusion" that it's both is a good point in that, as people, we kind of become the sum of our journey with everything influencing, but without one thing always necessarily being the determining factor. I was exposed to emotional abuse as a child but I don't see it as a cause for my asexuality. But it did impact who I am as a person and how I interact with the world. I think it's important to realize how we feel and why and build an awareness/understanding of that, and it sounds like that is exactly what you're doing in therapy and it sounds really productive.

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You might find this thread helpful:

 

 

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I suffered a lot of verbal abuse as a kid but that doesn't effect my being asexual at all. 

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