Cynz Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 (edited) I am a big hopeless romantic, I often dream of finding my ideal partner. When I'm attracted to someone I never even once think about having sex with them. It repulses me just imagining it. I just want the tender kisses and the cuddles, nothing more. But I enjoy watching porn and masturbate. I secretly wish to be an observator, a voyeur. Seeing people enjoying having sex and having orgasms gives me a real pleasure. I often try to imagine what the people who are having sex are feeling inside of them and that's what excites me the most. But I never imagine someone doing sexual things to me, this doesn't excite me. It does disgust me a bit I think. I am in a period in which I'm trying to discover who I am. So it'll help if someone could enlighten me. Edited January 1, 2020 by Cynz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Just to mention, it should be spelled "anegosexual". This is the correct Latin spelling, the rules are the same as with English determinants (a tomato, an owl). Yes, it's possible that you could be anegosexual. I am too anegosexual and sex-averse. Trying to imagine personally having sex too feels distressing to me - more like panic than disgust, because I'm first of all extremely nudity-averse. But anyway, despite having less than zero desire to personally have sex, I have a libido and enjoy third-person fantasies. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cynz Posted January 1, 2020 Author Share Posted January 1, 2020 12 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said: Just to mention, it should be spelled "anegosexual". This is the correct Latin spelling, the rules are the same as with English determinants (a tomato, an owl). Yes, it's possible that you could be anegosexual. I am too anegosexual and sex-averse. Trying to imagine personally having sex too feels distressing to me - more like panic than disgust, because I'm first of all extremely nudity-averse. But anyway, despite having less than zero desire to personally have sex, I have a libido and enjoy third-person fantasies. Thank you for correcting my mistake. I also have a nudity aversion and at first I thought this might've been the reason why I was kind of repulsed by the idea of having sexual interactions. But I'm starting to realise that it's more than that. I believe I can have a perfect relationship if there is no sexual interactions in it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 On 1/1/2020 at 8:32 AM, Nowhere Girl said: Just to mention, it should be spelled "anegosexual". This is the correct Latin spelling, the rules are the same as with English determinants (a tomato, an owl). Agreed on the proper Latin but unfortunately the term is already pretty entrenched as “aegosexual” so using an alternate spelling is just going to result in getting corrected constantly. Too bad the person who came up with and publicized it years ago wasn’t great with prefixes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 11 minutes ago, ryn2 said: Agreed on the proper Latin but unfortunately the term is already pretty entrenched as “aegosexual” so using an alternate spelling is just going to result in getting corrected constantly. Too bad the person who came up with and publicized it years ago wasn’t great with prefixes. I just personally couldn't stand spelling it incorrectly. Just as I can't stand saying (in Polish) "rok dwutysięczny dwudziesty" ("year 2020", literally: "two thousandth twentieth year") instead of, correctly, "rok dwa tysiące dwudziesty" (literally "two thousand twentieth year". Or "drugi styczeń" (literally: "second January") instead of, correctly, "drugi stycznia" ("second - implicitly: day - of January"). Very common mistakes, but still mistakes, and I take pride in speaking correct Polish. I never used these particular ones, but I consciously work on my parole; at the age of 17 I eliminated two other common mistakes, a few years ago I switched to pronouncing voiced "h", as it was pronounced before the war, and I also find that it helps me in learning Ukrainian (where there is a clear distinction between х, or voiceless "h", and г, or voiced "h"). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 1 hour ago, Nowhere Girl said: I just personally couldn't stand spelling it incorrectly. Yes, things like that grate on me too. I just figure in this type of situation “bucking the system” is hard for someone who is trying to do research, potentially coming out to people, etc. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunhope Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 I consider myself to be anegosexual, but I dont think I'm voyeuristic. I have no wish to observe other people indulging in sex and I would derive little pleasure in e.g. looking at porn. But those third person fantasies... yes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 Um,could somebody please tell what this 'aegosexual' term means?I'm still kinda new to this whole community so yeah... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunhope Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 @CikiI'm in no way an expert ( I have read what I could because I'm sure it describes my take on things, that's all ) but... literally: anegosexual means no ego ( as in no self) in things sexual. So, you can have a high libido; you can enjoy masturbation; you can be very sex positive and you can fantasise about sex all night if you wish, but you will never be a participant in any of these activities . It's as though they are happening to a third person. There have been some good threads here on AVEN about it. I'll try to find one and suggest it - but not right now as it's back to the football for me! ( Liverpool are playing) By participant, I mean that even the fantasies will be about other people - fictional or real 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 @Tunhope wow...well then... Shit,i don't know how to respond...The thing is...that might just be me...tho i doubt it... You see,i'm a big pervert.And whenever i do think about sex or romance,i never imagine myself.I always imagine fictional characters (yeah i'm a loser,i know).But i never get aroused,my sex drive is non existant and i don't masturbate. I watch porn once in a blue moon,and i only do it just to see if i'll get aroused (spoilers: i never do). Sorry if i sound ignorant and what not.It's just that i'm still discovering myself and i still don't know how this whole thing works...Sorry if i'm being offensive to all of you aegosexuals out there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunhope Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 @Ciki and @Cynz can I suggest this post: OP was @shdow555 inQuestions about Asexuality on October 16 2019. Post title was A Question of Aegosexuality. ( No n in it) and the reply offered by @Laurann contained relevant research. Hope it helps ( and absolutely no offence taken Ciki) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ciki Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 7 minutes ago, Tunhope said: @Ciki and @Cynz can I suggest this post: OP was @shdow555 inQuestions about Asexuality on October 16 2019. Post title was A Question of Aegosexuality. ( No n in it) and the reply offered by @Laurann contained relevant research. Hope it helps ( and absolutely no offence taken Ciki) 😊💖 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 At first I was like 'huh, I didn't post in this thread, what are you talking about @Tunhope?' But I get it now. This is the thread you are referring to, right? But I guess since I was summoned here, I might as well respond to the question asked now haha @Cynz Voyeurism and autochorissexuality are separate paraphilias, but I don't see a reason why someone can't have both. As far as I know, a voyeur gets aroused by the thrill of watching people have sex in real life. For an autochorissexual it's not as much about watching actual real life people have sex as it is about imagining sexual things in third person. It's not about them watching, it's about what those other people are feeling, and the self is not important, or even present, in that fantasy. It's self (auto) - without (choris) - sexuality. The emphasis is on erasing the self from the sexual situation. With voyeurism the self is still very much present, and the fact that the self is watching is the arousing part. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 On 1/1/2020 at 8:26 AM, Cynz said: I am a big hopeless romantic, I often dream of finding my ideal partner. When I'm attracted to someone I never even once think about having sex with them. It repulses me just imagining it. I just want the tender kisses and the cuddles, nothing more. But I enjoy watching porn and masturbate. I secretly wish to be an observator, a voyeur. Seeing people enjoying having sex and having orgasms gives me a real pleasure. I often try to imagine what the people who are having sex are feeling inside of them and that's what excites me the most. But I never imagine someone doing sexual things to me, this doesn't excite me. It does disgust me a bit I think. I am in a period in which I'm trying to discover who I am. So it'll help if someone could enlighten me. What you are is up to you to decide. But, some sexuals are voyeurs (sexual excitement from watching rather than doing, some people ask their spouses to have sex with others so they can masturbate while watching for example). Some aces like porn. Cant tell much about it just from some sexual fantasies. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunhope Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 @Laurann - yes, that was the post. Gosh! Apologies if it felt like a summons! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 @Tunhope no worries 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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