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Curious girl

Confused and will be happy for help

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Curious girl

Hi everyone I'm new here and would like to hear your thoughts and opinions (I'm sorry about the long post)
I have a strong labido but I rarely get attracted to people, I did have a few sex partners in the past,  but I never have the urge to have sex with them, and when we had sex it wasn't fun and always disappointing. 
I don't miss sex or feel distressed when I haven't done it in a long time, and when I think about sex I just  don't want to be apart of this situation (even with people that I'm attracted to). 
All of my friends really like sex and when I talked to them about my problems with sex they told me it'll get much better, for years I have been waiting for it to get better but it never did.
Lately I discovered asexuality and the gray area and I think that maybe this is where I belong... 
I'm confused and would like to know what you think

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CBC

If you've no innate desire to engage in any type of sexual activity with other people, unless you can identify another reason for your lack of interest, that would likely make you asexual. Many asexuals seem to have a libido and take care of it by masturbating.

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Saphoune

Hello and welcome to AVEN!

I hope that the experiences that you will read here will help you find answers to your questions.

It is not uncommon for aces to have a libido so you may be asexual.

DIy-Gender-Reveal-Question-Mark-Cake.jpg

 

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abarda

Hey, welcome! 

Yes, it's just for you to decide but that sounds pretty asexual. You may explore AVENs materials for more information. Libido and attraction are different things, that's for sure!

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Snao Cone
On 12/30/2019 at 5:42 AM, Curious girl said:

I did have a few sex partners in the past,  but I never have the urge to have sex with them, and when we had sex it wasn't fun and always disappointing. 

This was the same for me. Most times I've had sex I've initiated it by basically following scripts that require me to be drunk enough to stop listening to an inner voice but sober enough to be in control of my actions. It never came from within, and I was never into the moment. This isn't for a lack of libido, just a complete lack of interest in sex with other people.

 

On 12/30/2019 at 5:42 AM, Curious girl said:

All of my friends really like sex and when I talked to them about my problems with sex they told me it'll get much better, for years I have been waiting for it to get better but it never did.

It took a long time for me to identify as asexual because I kept expecting it to get better as other things in my life changed, like losing weight or meeting new people or becoming more independent. But that never happened. If you're just passively waiting for things to change and suddenly you want a sex life, then chances are it's just not in you. Chances are you're simply asexual. Otherwise you would have some level of motivation, at some point, to pursue sex.

 

Whether you have a libido, or whether you've had sex in the past, doesn't affect whether you're simply asexual or in the grey area. I thought so at first, but from interacting on AVEN I quickly learned that it's perfectly compatible with asexuality as an orientation to have a libido, and past choices don't negate what you've been feeling this whole time. I hope you find AVEN as helpful as I did back when I needed similar answers. :cake:

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