Guest Posted December 29, 2019 Share Posted December 29, 2019 I would like to start by saying that I have been an AVEN member for a while. I joined the community at a time when I thought I was asexual and did not specify a romantic orientation. That feels like a lifetime ago to me now. I've been through quite a journey so far. At this point I feel confident in calling myself both demisexual and placiosexual. These labels are just words that I use to explain myself. I want to ask for relationship advice from the community here on AVEN. At this point I've been in one failed relationship in my lifetime. I feel that my current relationship is going very well. Both women are active AVEN users, and in both cases it has been a mixed relationship. I made mistakes during the first relationship and learned important lessons as a result. I feel that my girlfriend and I are going about our relationship the right way. We communicate well enough to openly discuss the differences in our orientations. At this point in our relationship we've experimented a bit. I love my girlfriend and care deeply about her. She seems open to exploring new ideas. I'm struggling to find ways to accommodate her. Our situation is fairly interesting as I am placiosexual and she is iamvanosexual. The difficulty is the split between us as a demisexual/asexual couple. What are your thoughts? Does anyone have suggestions for compromises? Has anyone ever been in a relationship with this type of split before? Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted December 29, 2019 Share Posted December 29, 2019 Forgive me, I'm a little unfamiliar with those specific labels, but if I understand them correctly they sound like you should be able to make it work. Mixed relationships are complicated - I'm married to a sexual, as I probably mentioned before. Communication and respect are everything, but your knowledge of asexuality will hopefully help you understand and accept her feelings as you create a relationship together. I feel sure that you will be both be able to discuss the issues and find compromises that work for you both. Link to post Share on other sites
Chihiro Posted December 29, 2019 Share Posted December 29, 2019 You will get better answers if you actually explain your difficulty or differences Otherwise you will hear the generic answers like 'communication' which applies to all relationships. I am not even sure which one of you is demisexual because you described using a bunch of labels. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 29, 2019 Share Posted December 29, 2019 I dont get what is difficult after looking up your labels. You enjoy giving sex acts but not receiving. She enjoys receiving but not giving. So.... what is the problem you're having due to the split of demi / ace ? Link to post Share on other sites
Crazycrazycultist Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 15 hours ago, CBC said: Can you explain what that stuff means in practical terms? The placio iamvano bit, I mean. I'm not completely sure. But, I think Placiosexual means someone who would rather be the giver in sexual acts. Not the reciever. Iamvanosexual is the complete opposite. Someone you would rather receive than give. I think both usually fall under special terms using Asexuality. But, I'm not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazycrazycultist Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 10 minutes ago, CBC said: Yeah I ended up googling, but... If someone wants to be on the giving or receiving end of sex acts, that's soooo not asexuality. 😂 That's just a preference. I wish there was a place to talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 Who is Vano and why are you sexual for him? Link to post Share on other sites
Crazycrazycultist Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 13 hours ago, Philip027 said: Who is Vano and why are you sexual for him? Vano is actually a short term for Iamvanosexual. It refers to a term of people who prefer receiving sexual acts rather than giving. Similarly, Placiosexual means the opposite. One who would rather give than receive. I can understand how it applies to people with sexual attraction. But, I've mostly see people who don't experience sexual attraction say that they would rather give and receive acts rather than sex itself. I don't really see people talk about it. Not even on AVEN. Which kind of sucks. I personally find it really interesting! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 Mmm. I mean, stone lesbian has been around for a long time (give but doesnt much like to receive). And other such terms used by sexuals for just that. It's not new, it is a rather accepted thing. And the new labels that everyone has to google is a tad confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 Quote Vano is actually a short term for Iamvanosexual. It refers to a term of people who prefer receiving sexual acts rather than giving. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazycrazycultist Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 30 minutes ago, Philip027 said: Okay, I'm being dumb. I need to pick up on jokes more. Sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 I am sorry for how confusing my post turned out to be. Truthfully I don't remember what I hoped to accomplish through this. I'd like to let this thread end here as this wasn't well thought-out. Thank you to everyone who responded for taking the time to read this. I apologize for taking your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.