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Lord Jade Cross

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20 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

I suppose one way or another, that will be put to the test; as from my experience, people dont back off too easily (for whatever reason). Im fairly certain the ingerrogations will continue; its not the first time this has surfaced. Last job I had, a coworker went at it for months trying to pry out of me what were my preferences when it came to women. Not sure what her goal was.

 

14 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

If you say so

Ok here's the thing. One woman badgered you about it. Probably thought she was being friendly, maybe flirty. That's one person. If you had to estimate how many people each week you come into close enough contact to ask you a question, then divide that by the number of people who repeatedly asked intrusive questions... it's probably not 100%, right? What percentage of human beings within shouting distance to you actually display this harassing behavior? 3%? That's not everyone. 

 

People are all different. There could be someone on a website right now for social anxiety, saying "I work with this guy who won't even answer basic questions when I ask. I'm trying to practice being outgoing, but I think he may hate me." And that person will get the exact same advice you're getting now... some people gonna act different than you want them to.

 

If you want to feel like a victim and adopt language like "interrogations" and "harass," I certainly can't stop you, but maybe it'd make it easier if you adopted more neutral language. The words we use matter. Call them questions, or conversations, not interrogations. Know what I'm saying? People aren't trying to harass you, so interpreting that way seems like it may not be beneficial. 

 

EDIT: Oops Moon beat me to the percentage argument 😂

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12 minutes ago, Skullery Maid said:

People aren't trying to harass you, so interpreting that way seems like it may not be beneficial

While this may be true of most, there are people who do try to get to others because they're very unhappy people. It's best to learn to just accept that they are behaving the way they are, though, if there's nothing that can be done about it.

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3 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

But asking 50+ the same question/making the same stament, in some vain attempt to get a different answer, well to put it mildly, its annoying as hell. Keep going at it and it will make it seem like theres an ulterior motive.

Someone who keeps pushing is a pervert. No one likes when people behave that way, which is why it isn't socially acceptable unless you're in a really shitty environment.

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@CBC There isn't much men can do in response to women harassing them, because responses can be taken as hostility coming from a male. There is a double standard there where women can get away with too much. If he is lucky and he has an understanding boss, his boss could do something about the situation but unfortunately people don't always take men seriously when it comes to that. He could potentially get accused of being gay for not being interested back and the people he works with could be homophobic.

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Though I guess at this point he should just stop answering to these people, if he has communicated that he doesn't want to talk about it. If you tell people you don't want to talk about something and then they keep pushing and you continue to respond, they'll know that they can get a response out of you if they push enough.

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8 minutes ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

@CBC There isn't much men can do in response to women harassing them, because responses can be taken as hostility coming from a male. There is a double standard there where women can get away with too much. If he is lucky and he has an understanding boss, his boss could do something about the situation but unfortunately people don't always take men seriously when it comes to that. He could potentially get accused of being gay for not being interested back and the people he works with could be homophobic.

Are you saying that men get harassed more than women, or that women are allowed to harass? 

 

It happens, yes, and there are certainly gendered factors that make some behaviors easier to get away with as a woman (for example, ogling), but your argument is basically that it's up to the boss to take the complaint seriously, and that's true whether you're male or female. And since most bosses are men, statistically you're still better off. 

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@Skullery Maid What I mean is that society has less of a problem with women harassing men. Not that men get harassed more.

 

His boss could just be like, "What's wrong with you?" though. Other men are actually probably more often less likely to be understanding because I don't think many of them get much attention from females. Or atleast not harassment like Jade Cross is dealing with. So they could envy him or something and fail to empathize.

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