How to tell if im ace or if im something else???

[Garbagetrashman]

So im 15 (a trans male) and ive been trying to figure out my sexuality. Ive been bouncing from terms but none really seem to fit me. For the longest time i decided just not to lable muself cuz it was confusing. Recently ive found my way back to terms under the asexual umbrella because these are the ones that seem to fit be best. However im unable to tell if im actually ace or something else because i still feel some attraction? The reason i turned to asexuality for a match is because i am grossed out by genitals, both male and female. I can't really see myself having sex with someone because i find it extreemly unappealing and disgusting. However i have severe doubts about being asexual for the reason that im okay with the idea of sex. I wouldnt personally do it but other people doing it doesnt bother me. And masturbating does not bother be either. Im currently in a nonsexual relationship with someone and im perfectly fine with it and honestly fine it amazing because i dont have to worry about doing things i dont want to. But i also like to fantasize about sex as well? I dont know if this is because of me being trans or im actually asexual or something similar If someone could just help me out it would be nice. 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi

Well, some people are repulsed by some things, whether sex or the genitals even if they're technically sexual. It's a bit complex sometimes, but It could be that you're not asexual but it's ok however you are, you have time to understand yourself, you're very young. I'm trans and part of the reason I don't like some aspect of sex is because I don't want to use my genitalia very much, but I'm not repulsed by it, and it's still possible for me to be sexual in other ways (I'm demisexual though, so it's just in the right conditions). Some people will say you're still asexual if you don't want to actually have sex with a real person, but then asexuality is defined by the attraction part, so if the labels are important to you then it may be a bit difficult to be sure. But it's ok to be however you are. You might effectively live like an asexual if you can't get into sex, so you should benefit from the site because of that.

In whatever case, you're lucky to have found a nonsexual relationship. and I hope you can enjoy the connection. ❤️

[Knight of Cydonia]

4 minutes ago, Garbagetrashman said:

The reason i turned to asexuality for a match is because i am grossed out by genitals, both male and female. I can't really see myself having sex with someone because i find it extreemly unappealing and disgusting.

This sounds like asexuality to me. On AVEN it's defined as a lack of intrinsic desire for sexual relationships. Asexuals would be happy never having sex - they might want to have it for an external reason like pleasing a partner, or having kids, but not for an intrisic reason like personal physical or emotional pleasure from partnered sex.

 

5 minutes ago, Garbagetrashman said:

However i have severe doubts about being asexual for the reason that im okay with the idea of sex. I wouldnt personally do it but other people doing it doesnt bother me.

Asexuals can have different attitudes about sex in society and culture, such as being sex-positive (e.g. supporting the advocation and education of healthy, safe sex). Asexuality just refers to your own (lack of) desire about personally being sexually involved with someone.

 

8 minutes ago, Garbagetrashman said:

And masturbating does not bother be either. [...] i also like to fantasize about sex as well?

Asexuality doesn't mean no libido. Some asexuals (like me) don't have a libido, but that's not the case for everyone. 

 

Masturbation is a solo venture, and enjoying/seeking it is a common way to relieve libido and reduce stress. Likewise, fantasies are just that - fantasies - not you actually being involved with someone in the physical act. There is a big difference between masturbation/fantasizing, and actually wanting to have sex with someone else. Asexuals are people who may or may not experience the former, but not the latter.

 

 

 

[Philip027]

I think trying to answer this question is pointless if you're not even at the point yet where you know what you want with regards to sex, which it sounds like you don't.