Am I Asexual?

[PaulieWalnuts]

Hey, I've been wondering about my sexuality and thought I'd seek some expert opinions.

 

I've read all the asexuality criteria and find myself relating to a number of them. I've been attracted to girls, but when I think about girls I like I imagine myself talking to them or cuddling with them and never about sex. I've had sex once in my life (I'm 25), with a legal prostitute in Nevada, and it was perfectly enjoyable but also like "What's the big deal?" I've never had an orgasm in my life.

 

I do desire to have sex, but I think a lot of that desire stems from peer pressure. In high school, where there was less pressure on me to have sex, I seriously didn't think about it at all. Likewise, my lack of sexual activity distresses me (this distress is apparently what makes the difference between an orientation and a disorder), but it's primarily because I think I should be sexually active and I'm not. In general, it's very hard to separate a lack of sexual confidence from asexuality.

 

Based on the above information, do I sound asexual? It makes me feel better that there's a name for how I feel and that a (very small) part of the human race shares me feelings, but I'm scared of being alone for the rest of my life.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi

If you're not attracted for sex, and don't really have an interest in having it besides thinking you 'should', then it'd be better if you were true to how you feel. You sound asexual, but even if it was just that you're 'less' sexual, it's better to accept how you are than trying to make yourself want sex. A big portion of society puts quite a bit on it, so it's normal to feel like you should be, but if you aren't then you aren't, and that's ok, and most people here will tell you that as well (that it's ok to be asexual).

Yes it can make some  relationships harder, but it can work great with other asexuals or those that don't 'need' need sex, and even then there's sometimes ways to make it work.

[PaulieWalnuts]

Thanks for the replies. I've learned a lot from this site. A friend in college speculated that I might be asexual, but we thought asexuals couldn't get erections–that tells you how ignorant I used to be.