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Teenage Anon

Am I Allosexual or Gray/Demi?

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Teenage Anon

 

I think I do experience sexual attraction but It's very hard for me to distinct from other attractions, I never actually had it, since I am too young for it and I expect to do it after marriage. I feel neutral about the idea of sex, but I will feel uncomfortable if I suddenly see it on tv, movies or find one of my friends talk about their sexual experiences either with themselves or others, I've had my fair share of crushes(mostly fictional), and I've never thought about doing it with them, unless someone points it out, and I will feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea of intimacy with them. 

I am straight I know that for sure, The reason I'm questioning is because I think I experience a stronger attraction to someone who I know very well and very close to me, but sometimes I would suddenly feel attracted to strangers just from their personality, and looks. I do not suddenly feel attracted to people with just looks, if they look like they're genuinely nice, maybe, but if they just have the looks and not the personality, never will. I started questioning if I was Demisexual when I felt like I got more attracted to my friend after we had a 'serious talk' with another person, and it honestly felt like we bonded since I rarely did any talks like that with friends(And the fact I got to know him more-), and then I started recently thinking I was Gray, since I think I did experience sexual attraction before I even had a strong bond, and now I am confused about myself, can anyone help?

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Sarah-Sylvia

Accept yourself, however you are. It's ok.
Maybe you're in the gray category. Maybe there's more going on. You have time to understand yourself better.

I would say more but I'm about to leave. Welcome around :)

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kai_mirror

Hi! welcome to AVEN!

 

The interesting truth about the labels of asexual and demisexual is that they're a little flexible--not all demisexuals experience the same type of attraction because not everyone really agrees on what sexual attraction really is. That is something you'll have to define for yourself, and no one here on AVEN can ever assign you a label.

 

We can help though! One of the most important things about attraction is there are many distinct types of it. These include:

  • Aesthetic attraction: "an attraction to another person's appearance"
  • Sensual attraction: "an emotional or physical desire to engage in sensual acts with the person that the attraction is felt towards" like cuddling, kissing, and massages.
  • Romantic attraction: "an emotional response that most people often feel that results in a desire for a romantic relationship with the person that the attraction is felt towards."
  • Sexual attraction: "an emotional response that sexual people often feel that results in a desire for sexual contact with the person that the attraction is felt towards."

(all quotes from AVENwiki)

 

If you'd like to learn more, check out this article from the AVENwiki.

Note that not all of these definitions are universally accepted...if you feel something pretty close to it, you can call it safe to say that you have it.

 

So to help you answer your question, try examining your feelings toward the people you're attracted to. From what I see, it seems that you're probably demiromantic (unless you desire to have sex with the person you feel close to) but with your own category of attraction...attraction to personality without the need for a strong emotional bond. If that attraction makes you want to have sex with them, then perhaps you are allosexual (opposite of asexual)...if it makes you want a relationship with them, then perhaps you are alloromantic. If it just makes you like them but not really urges you to want any of those things, that's just a part of you that doesn't affect your romantic or sexual orientation!

 

It's okay if none of these labels really fit you though...it's good to be true to yourself and not have a label!  And it's okay if you find yourself changing labels.

 

Good luck on finding yourself!

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CBC

You sound like a normal teenager who's growing up and discovering their sexuality to me.

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